Raining like pouring it out of a boot 07.31.14

                I don’t think it was like pouring it out of a boot, but I would estimate a 2 inch rain early this morning.

I had completed my morning stroll on the neighborhood streets and returned home attempting to cool down. 

                I turned my fan on and pointed it at the rocking chair. Sitting in the chair and in front of the fan helped. Alex and I were discussing dinosaurs and the fact that the one in his hand was eating the leaves off one of our shrubs. In addition to eating the leaves this creature was throwing up in my shirt pocket.

 

                Alex thought it was funny to have make believe throw up in my pocket.

                All of a sudden, and seemingly out of nowhere, it began to rain. It was not like pouring it out of a boot, but it was raining. I took some measurements and found that the rain was about 2 inches.

                That is, the drops were about two inches apart on the cement drive way, see photo below.

 

                On a completely different topic, there are two moths on the wall over the garage door and they have been there for two days now. Do you think that moths hibernate like a bear, except they do it by hanging on a wall during the summer heat? What other reason would there be for them being there two days in a row under the night light?

 

                Third subject: I was checking on the kids in the front yard when I observed two orange blooms on a fern. They were small and kind of pretty blooms, so I decided to get the camera and take a photo. Now these blooms seemed odd as I have not noticed blooms on a fern in the past.

See photo below.

The next photo is a close up of the blooms on the fern.

After careful review, it has been established that the bloom is not from a hybrid fern, but merely a flower that somehow is growing in the ferns flower pot.

 

                A fourth subject, no photos for this topic.

                Alex Gabi and I were near the garage door when we started hearing this screeching sound. Gabi asked, “Is the sound from a baby bird”. I replied, “It sounds like a baby bird that is in distress”. My thought went to Molly and the possibility that she had a baby bird. The sound was getting louder and closer to us.

                Then we saw it, Molly had a baby rabbit in her mouth and the rabbit was making the sound. We all told Molly to drop the rabbit and Gabi was calling Molly a, “bad kitty”.  Molly dropped the rabbit as we all descended on her. The little rabbit quickly hopped into the flowers, we caught Molly and took her, fighting and kicking”, into the house. We did not see the small rabbit again and we hope that it went somewhere that Molly can’t find it. It was not a new born rabbit but it wasn’t as fast as molly.

 

We hope your day is filled with nice rain.

 

Don Ford

 

Forced Labor 07.30.14

 

                It is an appalling thought, that in this day and age of enlightenment, a retired senior citizen, on a fixed income, is forced to work on their hands and knees in the extreme heat, moving 50 pound landscaping stones. This includes digging out dirt and filling in low spots and attempting to work around roots.

                In fact, the reason this mandatory work was forced on a senior was because of roots that have lifted some of the landscaping stones. 

                You are correct, if you are assuming that I, “Mr. Ford”, am the subject if this opening comment.

Above we see a before photo of the project at hand. Each of those stones weigh about 50 pounds and there were about 30 stones _{(50 X 30 = 1500pounds).} For those of you who went to school in the, “olden days”, that is about ¾ ton of landscaping stones, that one, “superbly physically fit person” moved at least two times. Some were positioned and repositioned 3 times due to a miscalculation.

Below we see the completed project, a testimonial to the forced labor of, “Mr. Ford”.

 

After I crawled around on the ground and positioned or repositioned these stones several times crushing the grass around the tree, I had to water it thoroughly in hopes of not losing this grass.

What was my present spouse and my grandkids doing in the extreme heat? They were enjoying the pool.

In an effort to provide full disclosure, I did take a 1 hour break _{(2:00 to 3:00pm)} sitting in the shade of the tree, while granny and the grandkids splashed in the cool water. I was so hot and sweaty that I would have probably polluted the pool water if I had climbed in.

                Our prognosticators have predicted the possibility of rain the last two days and the next 3 days. We have received 0 inches. This has caused me to water the grass, and for a person on a fixed income it is very costly.

                Below is a photo of our elaborate sprinkler system in operation. I am hoping that some of you are critiquing the photo below as the composition is not up to my usual high standards.

 

Cat food will be served at the “Ford Homestead”, and I mean the cheap stuff. If you would like to donate, send your taxable donations to, “The Fords of Hewitt, Cat Food Fund”.

 

Truthfully, we will be serving cat food and that is not an exaggeration. This has been an ongoing situation at, “The Ford Homestead” for many months now.

Molly eats the cat food but has never indicated that she really enjoys it.                  

What, you thought, “we” were eating the cat food! Yes we are on a fixed income, and yes we may enjoy road kill occasionally, but not cat food. We are poor but not broke.

                                                                                                                                                        

May the warm summer rain wash the dust from your car.

 

Don Ford

Parking spaces by Don Ford 07.27.14

            In a recent study we learned, females take 86.27% longer to back out of a parking space than their male counterpart.

            Why is this important, you ask, well I will gladly answer that question.

            It doesn’t matter whether you are a man or woman, when you are looking for a parking space in a crowded lot, you want the person that just got into their vehicle to exit the parking space posthaste.

            In my recent observations, I have determined that the female of the species, for the most part, can not leave a parking space in less than 2 minutes and 18 seconds, whereas the male of the species can exit in 12.4 seconds.

            During the interview process _{(64 female subjects were not interviewed)} for this, “*scientific study”, we learned several important reasons for their exit strategy.

1)   The female subjects upon entering the vehicle, places her foot on the brake pedal, which in turn will cause the brake lights to come on. Seeing break lights, may cause anyone looking for a space to believe, this vehicle is getting ready to back out. Note; in Texas it is mandatory to start the vehicle as soon as one enters the vehicle in order to have the air conditioner working, due to the oppressive heat. We should not find fault in the female placing her foot on the brake pedal when starting the vehicle, we can however fault them for not removing the foot after the vehicle has started.

2)  The female subject takes longer to situate herself in the seat.

3)   The female subject feels it is important to have her clothing properly situated for appearance purpose.

4)    The female subject believes it is necessary to check her makeup using either the rearview mirror of a mirror in the sun visor.  Note; the makeup always needs a touchup.

5)     The female subject must now locate her purse and bring it closer to her.

6)     The female subject will remove the makeup from the purse which on average can take several seconds. As we all know, applying the makeup is never hurried.

7)     The female subject replaces the makeup and other items removed from the purse, then places the purse in the adjoining seat.

8)     The female subject must now take a final look in the mirror checking her makeup one more time.

9)      The female subject places the vehicle in reverse causing the backup light to come on.

10)  The female subject checks her mirror or the screen for the backup camera to be sure it is safe to backup.

11)  The female subject now backs out of the space.

12)  2 minutes and 18 seconds on average. This process may take up to one minutes 42 seconds longer, if she decided to check her smart phone.

13)  The driver who was waiting for the parking space (male or female) used one tenth of a gallon of gas and their stress levels increased by 22%. 

Male drivers on the other hand get into their car, start the motor and back out in less than 12.4 seconds.

Do I need to say anything more?

For a completely undocumented report of this study, send $25.00 to, “The Ford Foundation for Female vs Male driving habits study” allow 4 years for delivery. 

 

_{* Although all the facts in this study are correct, parts of this article may be imaginary.}

 

Please be aware of others when exiting a parking space.

Don Ford 

Local artist's work 07.26.14

 

                As head art critic for, “The Ford Homestead Foundation of the Arts,” I have to review many of the local artists work. Often, these art works are of flowers and other still life.

                Recently I was asked to be the object of two local artists and at first I refused. It just did not seem right for me, an art critic, to be the focus of someone’s art work. How would I be able to honestly criticize art work, when I was the subject of the work?

                When I think of it, I am a very handsome senior citizen and whether in a photo, painting or drawing, who or what else would be better than me.

After many request, over several months, I finally gave in and allowed the artist to, “Do his thing”. His specialty is chalks and he has had many impressive works.

I must say I was somewhat surprised when he allowed another artists to help him with the final work. It is very unusual to have two artists work on one drawing but this team’s collaboration, seemed spot on.

The colors are vibrant, the dimensions are accurate and the representation appears to be an exact replica of me.

I know what you are thinking, how did they do this.

                First I had to lay down on the driveway, then Alex made an outline of me. Then I got up and Alex along with his co-artist Gabi began to accurately color the image. 

                Gabi had drawn a couple hamsters on another part of the driveway _{(photo below)}, you may notice there are several hearts around the hamsters. Gabi explained that the two hamsters are in love.

I hope your day is filled with Love. 

 

Don Ford

 

Neighborhood photos 07.25.14

 

                During my morning constitutionals (aka walks) I have recently observed a tree with some dead limbs that seem to be the home of, or at least the target of a, “Pileated Woodpecker” but more likely the common “Red Headed Woodpecker”.

                Every time I see a woodpecker I get the camera but it is too late, he / she is gone. Not being able to photograph the woodpecker, I have done the second best thing and took a photo of its home.

And below is the close-up of the same home.

Later in the same day Gabi, Alex and I were in the back yard when a pair of Robins began to raise cane with us. I soon determined that they had a baby on the ground somewhere. I got the camera and we sat down to watch the Robins. We saw the younger Robin several times, he was not able to fly over a few feet at a time. You will need to look very close to see the young robin in the grass. 

Can’t see the young fellow? He is just to the left of the gray boot. He is facing left.

 

Have a nice weekend and be nice to someone.

 

Don Ford

Hiding in plain sight 07.22.14

 

                Tuesday morning as I was resting in my rocker near the garage door, when I noticed Molly was in Stalking mode. She kept looking at the wall which caught my attention. What do you think I saw?  There was a lizard that was hiding in place. 

Hiding in place means when something bad is happening, like an idiot with a gun, you quickly find a place to hide as opposed to running away. If you try to run the bad person may see you and probably shoot at you.

The lizard had learned his lesson well and was motionless, even when Molly jumped up and touched him with her nose. I thought that should have made him move on up the wall.

I decided to get a camera and take a photo of him. When I returned with the camera he was still motionless. He allowed me to take a couple photos and Molly became tire of looking at a motionless spot on the wall.

At some point the lizard disappeared.

 

On a totally different subject, we have found three dead grass snakes in the last two days. We see the grass snakes fairly often but to see three dead snakes is very unusual. My first wife suggested that it may be due to the fire ant killer I have spread over the yard.

I guess it could be the fire ant killer, I hope it doesn’t kill all the grass snakes but I would like to see it kill the fire ants. I put the fire ant killer down about three days ago and the two fire ant mounds are still active.

The two photos below are of the same lizard, the close-up makes it easier to see him or her hiding in place. 

 

I hope you do not need to hide in place.

 

Don Ford

Photos of... 07.21.14

 

I had been sitting on the front porch listening to 50s music from my tablet _{(satellite radio)} when a red headed woodpecker was seen on one of the oak trees. At about that same time, I observed a bright red Cardinal. I immediately went inside to get the camera and promptly returned to find both birds had vanished. I sat there in desolation hoping for the birds return.  

                I then decided to look around, and I found plenty of other objects to photograph.

 

Photos are not always what they seem.

The above photo of a limb, would appear to be taken in the winter time. It was actually taken from the front porch of the, “Ford Homestead” in July, 2014. It is just a dead limb against a gray colored cloudy sky.

 

Another photo taken from the same spot on the front porch.

This tree appears to have a cat type, eye. _{The eye is a spot that has healed over after the limb was removed.}

Does the leaf represent an ear?

Did you notice the bug eating the small leaf? _{It is easier to see when the photo is enlarged.}

 

A pink flower in this photo was also taken from the front porch.

 

Young pecans also photographed from the same spot on the front porch.

It is amazing what one can see if you look through the telephoto lens of a camera.

 

Look around and see what can be seen. 

 

Don Ford   Photographer Extraordinaire 

New Roof installed 07.21.14

 

                One of the last things a retired person needs is to replace a roof without the aid of insurance.  Being on a fixed income we need every penny we can get and having an expenditure like a new roof could be a major setback.

                Speaking of needing every penny we can get, as I was mowing Saturday I found a penny on the neighbors drive way.  Since I was mowing a couple feet on their property, I decided to keep the penny as payment for the work I had done. Wow, I am worth a penny.

                One might ask why the roof needed to be replaced. It was damaged by wind and would no longer keep the rain out.

                It has been a long time since I did any roof work and to be honest I don’t like being on a ladder that much. It needed to be done and being on a fixed income I decided to do the work myself.

                My spouse of 45 years was in the yard pulling weeds from one of the flower beds when I began the work. Having someone around when I am on a ladder is a good idea because senior citizens have a tendency to fall and get hurt.

                We had nine tenths of an inch of rain on Wednesday and two tenths on Thursday but the ground is still cracked. We have been watering the flowers in the flower pots daily and those in the ground every other day.

                Our poor little garden has just about given up except for the peppers. I guess pepper plants are hardy and probably do well in the hotter weather.

                I digress, back to my original thought of roof repair. You might think my son would offer to help but, no, I approached the project alone. I guess that is the thanks we get for having kids.

                First I had to remove the old and damaged roof which meant I was climbing that darn ladder.     The removal went well and was actually fairly easy except for the ladder climbing.

                Replacement was not too difficult, but working in the sun was definitely hot. I try to say hydrated anytime I am working out in the heat.

The new roof is a different color from the original. The first roof was brown but the new roof is blue. I got the new roof free at the harbor freight store, but if I had been purchasing the roof I would have went back with the brown color. See photo below.

I hope the kids like it. I had to get on the upper level of the kids fort / tree house to install the roof.  It was my first time in the upper level and it is not easy for a senior, retired, fat person to do.

I hope your weekend has been excellent.

 

Don Ford

I was kidding about my son helping me with the roof. Either one would have helped, or did the work, if I would have asked.