Electric Sex 11.26.13

               If that title, “Electric Sex” didn’t catch your attention then you are either dead or old. Now that I am thinking about it, they may both be the same thing.

               Sex; I have been trying to remember what the definition of that word is.

               Now days, many TV shows do not leave a lot to the imagination when it comes to murder, sex or any other subjects.

               There is one movie that is shown on TV (usually this time of year) that I really like and it refers to Electric sex. This show is about Christmas in Indiana but I am from Missouri, why would I like a “foreign movie”. It is interesting to me because they have depicted many of my memories of Christmas through much of this movie.

               At the beginning of the movie the subject is a gun that the main character is day dreaming about owning. I have two of these guns in my position and one is the 50^th anniversary edition. I have no idea what the value of a, “Red Rider BB Gun” is but I have two.

               In another part of the movie, a bully who is much larger than the main character attempts to harass him. As it happens in most good movies, the main character turns the table on the bully and literally beats the crap out of him. I am not supposed to say crap in front of the grand kids.

               Ok, you want me to get back on the subject of Electric Sex. Let’s see if I can remember how this is presented in the movie.

               The main character’s father wins a major award. The award is delivered to the house and it happens to be a;               if I tell you the entire story it may cause you to not enjoy the movie when it comes on in a week or so.

Let me give you the name of the movie that refers to electric sex and you can watch for it when it comes on TV. The name of the movie is, “Christmas Story”, I hope you will watch and enjoy as much as I do. 

               Below is a photo taken in The Ford Homestead and it deals with the Electric Sex, kinda like in the movie.

               As you should be able to see, there is a lamp on the table next to my chair. This lamp is based on the, “Major Award” in the movie, since it is shaped like a woman’s leg it can be considered as electric sex.

               I purchased this lamp yesterday and on the way home I decided to have a spicy chicken sandwich. I pulled into the local Wendy’s where there were about ten vehicles ahead of me in the drive through. As every knows, I am a very patient person, so waiting several minutes for food is no problem for me.

               When I arrived at the first window the young lady told me the price and referred to me as a young man. Obviously this person was very observant when she acknowledged my youthfulness.

The young lady at the window and I were talking as I waited for the drive through line to move forward, when she noticed the carton containing my new lamp which was beside me on the seat.

This observant young lady said to me, “you are the coolest person ever”. She was very familiar with the movie Christmas Story and noted that her grandpa had one of the BB guns.

We could have talked more but the line moved and I wanted to get my food and head for home.

 

I hope all your awards are Major.

 

We want to wish you a happy Thanksgiving.

 

Don Ford.

  

              

It Snowed 11.25.13

               Good morning one and all, I hope your day is extremely interesting. It is cold and rainy here at The Ford Homestead so I decided to share a couple photos to help warm things up.

This is a photo of my constant companion and confidant, “Tejas”.  You may notice that he was still a puppy in this photo. I believe he was attempting to locate a suitable site to mark the pickup as his own.

         Some of you may have noticed that there is also snow in this photo (Feb. 2004).

 

Taken on the same day, this photo is of some Do it Best Corp. trailers at the Distribution center located in Waco, Texas.

               I just noticed, “There is also snow in this photo”. I thought it never snowed in Waco, Texas.
 

               Why did I show you these photos?

I was asked by a friend if I would search through my archives looking for some photos from several years ago on a totally different subject. As I was searching for those particular photos I couldn’t help noticing the snow photos.

 

Have a warm and dry day.

 

Don Ford

 

A Rose of a Different Color 11.21.13

               Yes I stated, “A Rose of a Different Color”. I understand that the usual statement is, “A Horse of a Different Color”, but we do not yet have horses at the Ford Homestead of Hewitt.

               I have considered the possibility of having a horse or two but when I consider the extra cost associated with equine and the fact that I am on a fixed income, I decided to pass on the horse and stay with less expensive attractions such as flowers.

This morning I had the task of preparing the Bougainvillea crop for their winterization. This process includes cutting the limbs back to a length that is equal to the size of the pot they are planted in and then placing them under a protective cover.

               The assistant grounds keeper did not work with me due to the thorns on the Bougainvillea limbs and I wore gloves in an effort to protect my delicate hands.

Above is how the area appeared at the start of the work.

In the above photo one can see the flowers under the tarp. I will need to get some clear plastic to cover the entire frame which will help keep the cold away from the flowers and yet allow sunlight in during the day.

               The title of this article, “A Rose of a Different Color” has nothing to do with the Bougainvillea photos so I will try to get back on subject.

               When I was preparing to start the above work I noticed a Rose which I thought was very pretty. The photo below is of a multiple colored rose which I have described as, “A Rose of a Different Color”. The rose is pink on the outside and evolves to a yellow to orange color in the center. Yes it was raining and I did work in the rain.

If you have a prettier rose, send me a photo.

 

Have a colorful and dry day.

 

Don Ford

 

Texas Football Playoffs 11.19.13

               The photo is somewhat blurred because it was taken with my cell phone and no I do not  have a smart phone. If I had a smart phone I could not talk about everyone who has one.

This was an excellent night for a game.

 

Have a nice evening, hope your team wins.

 

Don Ford

 

Yard Work 11.19.13

               Last week we had freezing weather for a couple days, yes we had to use the furnace. Then the weather changed and we had a record high temperature of 89 degrees last Friday, we had to turn the air conditioner on.

               All this good/bad weather got me interested in doing some yard work. Although the yard needs to be mowed I decided to trim a few limbs from the trees in the front yard. As usual my work as a, “Master Wood Butcher” was superb. I even cut a few low hanging limbs for the neighbor, even though she wasn’t home at the time. I assume she wanted these limbs cut but I didn’t ask prior to cutting them.

               The real hard work for me is the picking up of the limbs and loading them on the trailer. I had the help of our grounds keeper which made the work go much faster.

               We brought the trailer to the street in front of the house and began to load the limbs on the trailer. The grounds keeper and I would place a limb on the trailer then cut it to fit (in other words make it lay flat on the trailer so we could get more on).  There were 4 larger limbs and we save them for last loading, they help hold the other smaller limbs down.

               Once the trailer was properly loaded we began the process of picking up all the very small branches that fell off during cutting and handling. These little branches will cause a mower blade to dull so I try to pick them up prior to mowing.

               I want to say that our grounds keeper earned his pay yesterday, Thanks Alex.

 

Other news;

My computer is working much better today than it was yesterday. I am not saying it is perfect but much better. Almost everything is back to normal thanks to my son “Patrick”. He spent a couple hours trying to undo some of the things I had done. I am glad he is a patient person.

Patrick was able to log onto my computer and basically use it as if was in his home. That made it much easier because he was no longer attempting to instruct me. My PC now is accepting most updates. I am a happy camper now.

I now need to go mow the front yard.

 

I hope you are having an outstanding day.

 

Don Ford  

 

A project to keep me busy 11.11.13 finished

               I am sure you will be happy to know that all the pieces went together properly and the unit works as if it were built be an expert.

Yes, you are correct, it was manufactured by an expert, “me”. I was somewhat surprised that it set level on all four legs and I did not need to make any adjustments.

You may have been wondering whether we have checkers; we have two sets of checkers. One set was bought (cheap plastic that the kids like) and the other is handmade checkers (not as pretty but I like them). The handmade checkers although somewhat ugly work as well as the store bought checkers.

Painting the bare wood was fairly easy, I used spray paint and it went on fairly well.

The photo below shows the unit folded and stored against a wall indicating how easy it is to store the unit.

The excellent design of the leg assembly was made by an American sent to China so they could mass-produce the TV tables eventually allowing me to copy the design for my folding checker board.  

The photo below shows the finished product with the handmade checkers on the board.

Would you like to play with me?

OK, get you mind out of the gutter; I meant “play checker with me”.

 

I hope all your games are fun and you win most of the time.

 

Don Ford

Friday Posting 11.15.13

               As I started this morning thinking about the world while drinking my second cup of coffee, something came to mind that I had seen earlier this week. As you may well know, I am very observant. That morning there was frost on the neighbor’s yards and roofs. I noticed the frost was not on everything. I observed that there was no frost under any tree (the trees still have leaves on them). If the tree was over part of a roof there was no frost on that portion of the roof and similarly there was no frost on the grass under the trees.

               I am wondering if you know why this happens. I assume that the tree somehow holds heat which does not allow the frost to form but how does that happen?

 

               If you have been paying attention to the politics coming from Washington and “your” president, you may have noticed that he has issued many Executive Orders. After observing this procedure of getting around Congress and doing whatever he wants I have decided to adopt the practice and issue an executive order from The Ford Homestead. 

               First I want to thank everyone who donated funds to help this senior citizen purchase some power tools; I really do appreciate your thoughtfulness (although larger donations would have been more helpful).

               As president of The Ford Homestead I have decided to decree an Executive Order and move the power tool donations to the Thanksgiving Dinner Fund. By moving these funds to the Thanksgiving dinner fund it will help assure that we will be able to have a nice turkey with all the trimmings.

It will really be nice to know my spouse of 44 years does not have to pick up aluminum cans from the side of the road in order to have enough money to purchase the turkey and trimmings. 

Thanks again for the donations to purchase power tools.

 

Recently I have begun a process of a “to do list” written on post it notes an attaching them to the computer monitor. This is in an effort to remember things I need or want to do. Notes do help and it has surprised me how much more I am able to get accomplished once I have written an item on the “to do list”. It may be difficult for you to believe that I need help remembering anything but occasionally I do. Without the notes I most often remember what I wanted to do about cocktail time, when it is too late to do anything. 

My spouse of 44 years and I were discussing the “to do list”, which is totally different from her list, when she suggested that I may have a tendency to forget to put items on the “to do list” and I may forget to review the “to do list”.

I have decided to make a second “to do list” and keep it next to my recliner. This list will be a reminder to write items on the first “to do list” and also to read the first “to do list” after my naps. 

 

May all the items on your “to do list” be fun!

Don Ford

 

A project to keep me busy 11.11.13 continued

 

            Continuing with this narrative, I went to Home Depot and purchased one ½ wood dowel and two 1X2s. I went to the local Ace Hardware Store to get 4 bolts. I would have liked to gone to the Do it Best store but it is on the other side of town and being on a fixed income I need to save as much as I can on gas.

            Speaking of gas, I purchased gas at the Wal-Mart station for $2.79 the other day. I never thought I would consider gas at less than $3.00 as a good price.

When I was a teenager, many years ago, gas was .30 cents per gallon in town and .25 cents at the cheap station just outside of town.

I remember when gas prices were still below a dollar I stated, “if gas goes to $1.00 a gallon I will quit driving”. I didn’t quit driving.

Now I have a question, what happened to the “cent” symbol? We still use the dollar symbol “$” but the cent symbol seems to have vanished. Is it because many people do not have common cents (sense) now days?

I digress; I have now spent almost $10.00 for wood and bolts to make these legs. I couldn’t find plastic washers so I made my own out of an old Starbucks gift card. To explain before that one person asks; the plastic washer is placed between two pieces of wood as a spacer and to allow for free movement between the two wooden legs. 

Being on a fixed income I can’t afford nice power tools like a power sander. I have manually rounded off the corners of the 1X2s that will be used for the folding legs with an old wood rasp. My poor old hands are tired from the work. (Donations will be accepted for power tools)

I find it interesting how a simple project like this can have so many little details. I try to do each thing in the proper order hoping that I will not need to go back and re-due anything. I look at it as if it were a puzzle and I am attempting to get all the pieces in the right shape before I attempt to put them together.

*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          

I received a question from the first posting which asked, “Were you looking at the checker board when the young lady with the short shirt and boots walked past, causing you to associate legs with the checker board?”

My answer to that question is, “how could a pair of nicely polished brown leather boots with a small yellow Texas Rose embroidery on the upper portion of the boot, a nicely pressed, very short, light blue denim skirt”, cause anyone to think about table legs. That is just silly.

Another reader noted that I had used the wrong word. I mistakenly wrote “Cracker Barrow” when I wanted to write “Cracker Barrel”.

In response; “my computer is still broken and the program that would read back to me want I have written no longer works. When something is read to me I can usually hear the words that are in error and correct them but when I re-read what I have written I often read what I think I have written and not what is actually there. “

*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *                 

In the following photo you will see all the pieces to the project laid out ready for assembly. I have each piece ready to attach. Some of the pieces will be attached using wood glue and screws while some are attached with bolts and nuts. When it is all together I plan to paint the unpainted wood white, hopefully matching the white checker board.  

  

            After the above photo was taken I did put all the parts together to assure myself that each piece properly fit. I found some minor sanding was needed which will allow easier movement of the legs. There is one piece that was left out of the photo (an error on my part, and you are correct I do not usually admit my errors) a metal bar that is 11 inches long which keeps the legs attached to the checker board. I will try to get a photo of the bar when the unit is complete.

 

I hope you have a rewarding day with delightful surprises. 

Don Ford

A project to keep me busy 11.11.13

            While at the local Cracker Barrow enjoying my Sunday morning Brunch I came up with an idea. We had been seated near the checker board and there were children playing checkers.

            Everyone knows I would never criticize the way a person was dressed, unless they deserved the criticism; many do deserve it.

Naturally when the young lady, mid 20s, dressed in cowgirl boots (notice I didn’t say cowboy because they were on a woman) and a very short dress walked past, I was not about to make a negative comment.  Most men, even older men enjoy seeing a well-dressed young lady in a short dress and cowgirl boots. 

Sorry, my mind wondered for a minute there; back to my original thought. The kids playing checkers cause me to think of a project that could keep me busy for a couple hours and get the checker board out of my office.

Why do we still call it an office, there is no business done in this room.  This is my safe room, when my wife is cleaning the house or, as she has been doing for the last few days, putting up Christmas trees and decorations, it is my retreat.

Back to the story; The wait staff brought our food and we had begun to consume our lunch. I had a mouth full of meat loaf when the lady asked, (the waitress not the young lady with the short dress and boots, try to stay with me and get you mind off the boots) “sweet?” I could not say anything because I had a mouth full of that delicious meat loaf. All I could do was shake my head no, and she walked away.

It is my opinion, all wait staff are trained to only ask questions when the customer has their mouth full. This is done in an effort to save time as they expect the customer to nod their head and not engage them in a conversation.

A minute or so later she returned with a pitcher of tea. I then asked her, “When you said sweet were you asking if I was sweet or the tea?” This young lady was obviously working for tips when she replied, “you of course, I knew you tea was un-sweet”.

Somehow the subject of food causes me to deviate from the original subject.

I will attempt to get back to the checker board idea. As some of you may know, I made a checker board out of what I believed was an old cutting board. It actually turned out to be a good checker board and we have had a few games on it.

I came up with the idea of making a set of folding legs for the checker board. It would make it easier for senior citizens to play by having the board up off the floor but the younger people could still lay it on the floor and play because the legs would fold flat.

You are possibly thinking, “How does he come up with these great ideas”. It is easy for me since there isn’t much of anything important in my head to keep the ideas out.

            The above hand drawn image depicts my vision of the legs and how they would be mounted to the checker board. The drawing may be too technical for some so if you have questions send them to me and I will get to them in the order received. 

In an effort to provide full disclosure, I got the idea from some old wooden TV dinner tables in our garage. TV dinners, do they still have TV dinners? I use to like the Salisbury steak.

I have run out of time for this posting and I will end now.

If there are no further posting on this subject, you will know I have decided the project is too difficult or more likely, too costly for a retired person on a fixed income.

Have an excellent day!

Don Ford

Turn you back on me?

            If that is the way you feel, then turn your back on and old friend.

            Those who are supposed to be good friends while in the same room and they are unwilling to look at each other.

What can I say, it is just heart breaking. 

            What could have happen to cause these two who had just a few minutes earlier been close and communicating?

Possibility there was a slip of the tong or maybe some bullying (NFL type).

            Whatever the reason, they have turned their back to each other.

 

Hope your friends are friendly today.

Don Ford

Exercise 110513

               Exercise; may be a word we do not want to hear but it is important.

               I was explaining to my spouse of 44 years how to exercise her thumbs. When we exercise our thumbs something special happens.

               Thumb exercise is often known as, “twiddling your thumbs”. This exercise will help you when shaking someone’s hand and may help with your writing. If you exercise properly you will not only improve the muscle tone in your thumbs but it will keep your mind sharp as well.

Proper positioning of the hands and thumbs is important; the following is the conventional method.

Join the hands together with all fingers interlocked and the thumbs are side by side. Most often one will place their hands in their lap as this is relaxing. The hands may be places on a desk or table if one is more comfortable.

Each person has a preferred direction of rotation which is used without thought. Reversing the direction may be uncomfortable for some and requires a conscious thought process.

               There are three preferred methods used in this workout. 

First there is the, “single direction rotation” method which simply means the thumbs are rotated on one direction. This method should be used when you want to relax the body and allow the mind to unwind. One direction rotation can be accomplished by anyone.

The second method is known as, “bi-direction rotation”. This technique requires one to rotate both thumbs first in one direction then reverse the direction. To stimulate the brain during this procedure one should count the revolutions made by their thumbs in one direction then reverse the direction rotating the same number of turns in the other direction before switching back to the first direction.

There is a third method which is not often used; it is known as, “the non-rotational twiddle”. One should join the hands as previously described and move one thumb under the other stopping when they are again side by side but do not go all the way around, then reverse the process bringing the thumbs back to the original side by side position. This method does not seem as fulfilling to me. 

The speed of the twiddle is also important and may be used to determine the mental stress of the twiddler.       The slower the twiddle the less stress.

Definition of terms used in this commentary;

                              Twiddle; to exercise

                              Twiddler; a person who is exercising 

 

 

For those of you, who may have questions about this exercise, forward your questions to:

Thumb-ology Department

Ford Homestead Foundation

 

Hope you have a stress free day.

Don Ford

Walking stick can be odd 110413

               I decided to make another walking stick to keep me busy while my spouse of 44 years was having a garage sale.

               It seems odd that we call it a garage sale as all the items were outside the garage.

               As I started pealing the layers off this stick, let’s call it Number XX (20), I noticed some interesting hieroglyphs (symbols) etched into the wood. Were they from some alien civilization or just paths the carpenter ants had taken? Whatever they were, I found them interesting.

As you can see there are even tunnels that were bored into the wood.

               There is another feature that became evident during the process of removing layers of bark from the stick and that was a protrusion that appeared to me as a turtle or snake head.

 

Below is a photo of the walking stick as it would be used in real life. Please do not look at the handsome person holding the stick.  If you are looking at the stick you should notice the knot that makes what I see as a turtle head.

 

If you are looking at the model instead of the stick (the model, a senior citizen, aka me) the model has a new haircut, did you notice?

I told the lady that cut my hair I wanted my hair as short as possible but still be able to comb it. I went on the say; kinda like a military cut, “high and tight”. 

I think she went more to the high and tight side which I like.

Yes I have a pocket watch, is that a problem?

Why do you have a problem with an older citizen, me, having a pocket watch?

Let me answer the question before you ask; I am still on a fixed income and the watch was given to me by a friend.

Do you know how many aluminum cans I would need to pick up from the side of the road to purchase a pocket watch with a motorcycle on it; a bunch. 

 

 

That is it for now; I hope you have a day that is second to none.

Don Ford

 

 

Sleepless in Hewitt... 110413

               As the title indicated, I was not sleeping well last night. That is unusual for me as I usually fall asleep quickly and if awaken by some extraneous situation, I usually return to a sleep state quickly.

               Last night I was awake for too much of the night. Before you ask, I do not think the time change had anything to do with it.

               It may have been that I simply worked too hard yesterday.

You seem surprised that I may have worked yesterday.

Did you laugh when I stated I may have “worked too hard”? Do you find it difficult to imagine that I would work or overdo it?

After lunch yesterday I climbed on the roof and finished applying a double coat of paint to the trim and chimney.

I then, (without the aid of a nap) proceeded to use the string trimmer to edge the yard. I followed that process by mowing the front yard using the walk behind mower and the back yard with the rider.

I would like it to be known that I did not get a nap anytime during the day yesterday and being off my normal schedule may have caused the sleeplessness last night.

Different subject:

I have messed up my computer due to deleting some files. I thought I needed some extra room so I began to remove files that (in my opinion) were not needed. It was going well until I began to delete a Windows (101) file.

I was informed later that what I though was a duplicate file, was actually a “shadow file”. In other words, not two separate files located in two places but one file that was being viewed in two places. Attempting to delete from what I thought was a duplicate file was actually deleting the main file.

Some of what I deleted went into the recycle bin (I should always do that) but some files I permanently deleted (not a good move).

Things stopped working so I tried to fix the problem. I reinstalled what I could form the recycle bin and eventually got the Windows (101) back. Windows is the operating system and (101) I believe is the number of files in the system.

Still things were not working. I, being a, “Know-it-all” decide to restore the system to a previous point in time. Guess what, I had evidently permanently deleted the restore points.

The computer started to down load and install important updates, 12 to be exact. Each time the system attempted to update it showed that the process failed. Each time I turn the system on it attempts to update and fails.

At one point I stated the computer in a safe mode and now it appears every time I start the unit it is in a safe mode. My tool bars and screen are no longer what I am use to.

It seems as if I can still down load files but when I try to use it I get the message, “XX has stopped working”.

Eventually I will get the problem fixed but for now I will continue working on my poor crippled computer. If I weren’t on a fixed income I could take it somewhere for repair or just purchase a new one.

Donations may be sent to, “The Ford Foundation, Repair Don’s PC”.

 

I hope you do not permanently delete any vital files today.

 

Don Ford