Killer Tornado 12.30.15

            No, I am not writing about recent storms in Texas, although they may have been the catalyst for my remembering past events.

            I had gone to sleep as usual, and as usual, I woke up before my first wife came to bed. Repositioning my body and placing the pillows in their proper place, I found that sleep was eluding me. Then a memory came to mind. This memory was in some ways a pleasant memory while at the same time unpleasant.

            Back in 1970, I was employed at GESCO also known as, General Electric Supply Company. I worked for GESCO a little over three years, I was the warehouse person, counter sales, inventory specialist and janitor. Another way to look at it, I did everything the manager and outside sales person did not want to do.

Truth be known, the work I had done, or maybe I should say the things I learned at GESCO, was one of the two main reasons, I was hired at Hardware Wholesalers Inc. “HWI”. The second, reason and possibly the most important reason I was hired, I was almost debt free! The only payment we had was for our home.

I still remember talking with the third interviewer, and he asked several times whether I had a car payment or any other payments to which I answered honestly, no!

Donna and I purchased a brand new mobile home in 1970, and we had it delivered to a trailer park in Scott City, Mo.

January 28^th, 1971, Donna and I received our first bundle of boy joy, Patrick.

June 14^th, 1971, I went to work at HWI. They wanted me to start June 1^st, but I was in the National Guards, I could not start on the first, as we would be at summer training the first two weeks of June.

Now that you have the background, we can get to the story.

I don’t know the exact date but it was a night in December, I know that because we had the Christmas tree up. One does not normally think of tornados occurring in December but they do.

For some reason we were unaware of the bad weather forecast, and we were not considering the need to take shelter. It was raining and kind of windy but we weren’t yet concerned.

We received a call from Donna’s mother, informing us of the possibility of severe storms. That is when we took a look outside and decided the weather was bad enough that we should get some supplies together for Patrick, and go to Donna’s Mom’s home.

By the time we had gathered the diaper bag and other supplies, the wind was roaring and the rain was pouring. We found ourselves standing at the front door of the trailer. We had wrapped Patrick up in a blanket to protect him from the rain and wind. I had the door knob in one hand and the car keys in the other with a diaper bag over my shoulder, but we weren’t going anywhere, at least not yet.

It was raining super hard and the wind was blowing at what I believe was hurricane force. Our trailer house was on blocks, and I thought the wind might blow it over. Our car was parked just a few feet away, but the wind and rain was too much, we could not safely step out the door and down the three steps to get to the car. What a conundrum, we didn’t think it was safe to stay inside, it wasn’t safe to go outside!

As I am standing there, with the doorknob in my hand, Donna had Patrick (he was not quite a year old) in her arms. I said, “If it lets up even a little, we will make a run for the car”. Our intent was to get out of the trailer and go to a safer location at Donna’s mom’s house.

Donna’s mother lived out in the country, about a mile away. Her mom’s house did not have a basement, but they did have a cellar, which could be used to store canned goods and also used as a storm cellar.

The trailer was shaking from the wind, and we could hear what we now know is the unmistakable sound of the tornado, but it was not safe to step out of the door.

All of a sudden, and I mean it was almost instantaneous, the wind and rain stopped. We quickly made our move to get to the car. Even though the wind and rain had stopped momentarily, the sound of the tornado was still there, very loud, and close. 

The best way I can describe the sound of the tornado would be, the sound you would hear if there were two railroad tracks about 50 feet apart, and if you were standing between the tracks, with trains going past very fast on both tracks. That is close to the sound of a tornado.   

As soon as we were inside the car the rain and wind started again, which caused me to believe the tornado had passed and we were now, “out of the path”.

We drove to Donna’s mom’s home and stayed the rest of the night.

Donna’s brother and I decided to drive into Scott City about sun rise to take a look around. Our trailer was still standing but there was all kinds of damage about two blocks away. Scott City is a railroad town and box cars were picked up and tossed around, some brick buildings and homes were destroyed. I don’t know the exact number, but there were people killed in that storm.

Once you have been in or near a tornado, you do not want to be in or near another!

 Now you may understand why, “This memory was in some ways a pleasant memory, while at the same time unpleasant.” It was unpleasant due to the damage and deaths, but it was pleasant because Donna, Patrick and I along with our families, were not hurt.

Thanks for reading this, and please, if you go out on amateur night, do not drink and drive!

Have a happy new year’s eve, but do not drink and drive!

Don Ford

Colder than 12.30.15

                                    Spring has sprung,

                                    Fall has fell,

                                    Winter’s here,

                                    It is colder than, (you can complete the pome)

            Do you find it irritating, to know most people complain all the time? I want you to understand that I am not complaining about all this excessive rain we had over the last two days. Before that one exasperating person ask, we only had four and one tenth inches of rain.

            I am not going to complain about the excessive wind that we have been enduring, which add to the discomfort of most native and naturalized Texans.

            You know I would never complain about the cold weather, which when added to the wind (noted above), seems to cut through the many layers of clothing, causing one’s aged, and may I say, well preserved senior body, to shiver pitilessly!

            As you may well know, my comments might sound as if I am complaining, but in reality I am constructively commenting, in an effort to help others, understand how this crummy, cold, wet, horrid weather is affecting the nice Texas citizens.

            Let’s get started, by saying it was mid 70s one day, and the next, it was freezing. That is also known as, “being colder than a well diggers shovel”.

            That un-needed rain, in excess of 4 inches, has caused many problems for too many people. Just think of all the people who would have liked to have gone shopping, and or return unwanted gifts. These nice people were forced to stay at home in the dry.

            Let’s not even consider the wind, as it just exaggerated the cold and wet weather. Darn it, if I wanted this type weather, I would move north! 

            Let us get away from the uncompromising weather and speak of something that is just as bad, if not worse.

I have ordered a set of floor mats for, “The Ford’s Chevy”, and these mats cost too much. I believe they should have a mink lining, to cost that much. My wife will need to work much longer hours and on many different roads, in this cold wet weather, without gloves and no umbrella, to gather enough aluminum cans to pay for these floor mats. 

 I must remember to thank my present spouse for this nice Christmas present. (For that one person who thinks my wife does not know of these postings, she is copied, and may I say, reads all the postings.)

May your day be warm and dry!

Don Ford

Roses are Red Violets are Blue, 12.27.15

Roses are Red Violets are Blue,     

Winter is here, and I have nothing to do!

            As the year comes closer to an end, Christmas has now passed, and the warm nice weather has turned unpredictable with heavy rain, and is finally turning cold, I thought I should present these photos, taken by and unrecognized artist (me) who works not, with a paint brush, but uses his so called smart phone to create master pieces.

            I have two photos I want to present for your edification. These photos are of the same rose showing some progression in the blooming process.

   

There are two rose buds in the above photo, with the centered rose almost ready to open.

“What a difference a day makes”, the rose has opened and is very colorful. There is some change to the second bud, but not as dramatic as our main character.

            I observed this rose, even though it seem almost impossible, to be almost twice the size the next day. It was late evening when I saw the huge bloom so I thought I would get a third photo, today. That did not happen, as the three inches of rain over night and the wind gusts at almost 40 mph, removed the rose from the bush.

            Maybe next time!

Christmas was good to me, I receive several nice gifts. I received a Star Bucks gift card which is always nice,

I also received my favorite candy, the soft peppermint balls. I keep peppermint by my recliner.

I also received a new coffee cup that have the photo of the grandees on it.

I was presented with a glass, which could be used for adult beverages, with, “Uncle Don” engraved on it.

I also received a donation in cash, which will cover the cost of some real nice new floor mats for, “The Ford’s Chevy”.

For those of you who thought I was going to get a lump of coal, you should now understand, “I was not on the naughty list”, at least not during December! 

I need to stop now and make myself presentable, my present spouse is having an open house for her friends today and I will likely be the only male in the herd.

They may even leave enough food for me, to have a bite or two, maybe!

Be aware of the weather, today and tomorrow, where ever you are!       

Don Ford 

When I was a kid 12.24.15

            It is Christmas Eve and I have nothing to do other than try to stay out of my present wife’s way. She is totally involved in getting everything ready for this evening’s repast, and then the noon meal tomorrow, Christmas. That is why I have decided to come to the key board and put together a couple memories that will mean nothing to you but help me stay safely out of the first wife’s way!

            Being from swamp east Missouri (actually the swamps were farther south from where I was raised and they had been eliminated by the installation of many levies, many years ago) we used the same words as normal people but they occasionally had different meanings.

I had understood there were 3 meals each day (if you were lucky) and they were breakfast, dinner and supper. Now that I am trying to be a somewhat normal person, I still forget to use the word lunch instead of dinner.

By the way, the above statement has nothing to do with this uninformative, nonprofessional presentation of a non-journalistic endeavor!

I was relating an old Christmas memory the other day as I talked to my sister over the phone. I told her I remembered a gift I had received from her when I was about 10 or 11 years old. Back in those days there was a cowboy TV show named, “Have Gun Will Travel”. 

This cowboy always had a concealed derringer, and the small derringer always saved the day. I wanted one real bad and my sister bought it for me for Christmas. Good Christmas!

I remember one year I bought my mom a lamp for Christmas. The light bulb would heat up it would turn the inside making the seen on the outside seem to move. The picture was of an old Model “A” car. I thought I had bought my mom the best present ever.

I only remember one year when it snowed on Christmas Eve. The next morning I had decided I would pull my sled across the yard and tell my younger nephews, when they come over, that it was tracks, from Santa’s sled. My dad pointed out that I would need to explain my foot prints. That put the kibosh on that. 

There was this one Christmas when I had asked for a set of barbells / dumbbells. I was an early teenager and my dad had purchased a set from, “Montgomery Wards”, when they were located in down town Cape Girardeau, Mo.

Dad did not bring them home when he bought them and on Christmas Eve he took me along to get them (maybe he wanted me to carry them). When we arrived at the store dad went to the sales person and asked for the barbell set assuming the weights would be in a box.

The sales person checked, and said the only set they had was the set on display. Dad asked, “How am I going to keep my son from seeing the present”. The sales person said, “You aren’t”! We carried my non-surprise gift out to the car.

That is all the Christmas memories that I can conjure up right now.

I haven’t asked Santa for anything this year. I did see one thing that I almost bought for myself (a sock cap with the word Ford on it) but when I looked at the price ($13.00) I decided I could do without. $13.00 for a sock cap that is an advertisement for a car maker, I just could not do it!

We hope there is something nice under the tree for you!

Don Ford

Having Fun 12.23.15

            This posting should be short and sweet, maybe. Yesterday, Gabi and Alex were at our house due to school being out for the Christmas holiday.

            The two grandees were out back at the fort indulging in play. Gabi, being a free spirit, decided to enter the second floor of the fort without using the stairs. She decided to climb the pool ladder that was temporarily stored at the end of the structure. See photo below.

            Please keep in mind that it was December 22^nd when this photo was taken, accounting for the fact that they do not have coats or shoes on.

            In the fotoe (pronounced fo toe) we see, “The Gabi”, climbing around the corner of the fort in an effort to gain access to the second floor.

            You may also notice that, “The Alex”, is about to cut the rope with his sword, in an attempt to cause his favorite sister, to fall to the ground.

            Short story made longer, Gabi made it in the upper level of the fort, and Alex did not cut the rope.

            Today’s weather is also as nice as yesterday. 

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good…

                You are correct I did not finish that statement, so what!      

  

Don Ford

Really? 12.22.15

I have heard my grandees reply with the word, “Really?”, after I have made profound statements. In truth I have heard some young adults use the same expression, so I thought it would be proper, for this more than fun filled, and may I say well written report, about changing times.

This morning after my strenuous exercise program, I was recuperating in my old rocker, while enjoying a cup of coffee. The coffee was hot and good. I had even put a small amount of a flavored cream in the cup, just to give it a little bit of Christmas flavor. 

As I sat there contemplating the worlds situation, an old Christmas carol came to mind. I can’t recall all the words but it was running through my head over and over.

As this part of the song played over and over in my head, I then remembered a cartoon I had seen many years ago in a magazine, which always had a fold out photo of a nude female subject.

The cartoon was of a male subject, dressing himself in a female’s clothing as he sang, “Dawn we now our gay apparel”. At that point in my life, gay meant happy. I did not understand the meaning of that cartoon until years later.

Before that one person asks, no I did not look at the nude photos of the young and pretty female subjects, I liked the articles and cartoons. 

I was able to get that thought out of my mind, as I decided to replace that song with another Christmas song, “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the one I use to know”. That is when I wondered, is that song about white people having a Christmas? My goodness, is there any Christmas song that is good for everyone?  

            I decided to get to a politically correct Christmas song, “Jingle Bells”, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way, oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open slay, dashing through the snow, in a one horse open slay, over the hills we go, laughing all the way, bells on bob tails ring, making spirits bright…

Let’s consider those lyrics for a moment. It occurred to me they had an old horse pulling that slay, in the cold winter snow, most likely at night. The poor horse was not walking because it states they were, “dashing through the snow”, which means they were running the old horse, and they were probably hitting the horse with some type of whip, just to keep him going.

The song states that they were going over the hills of snow, which means it was much harder for that old horse to pull the sled full of people up the hills of snow.

Have you thought about this part of the song, “Bells on Bobtails ring”? A Bobtail means they have cut off part of the horse’s tail, (usually just hair) then they have put bells on the horse’s tail. Think of it for a moment, every time the horse would swing its tail, it would not only ring the bells, it would also hit the poor old horse with the bells, which had to hurt.

That is animal cruelty!  

Believe me, the horse would have rather been in a warm stall with some grain to eat.

Not being one who wants to give up, I considered another song, a fun song about a reindeer, Rudolf! I believed this song should be fun and not be offensive in any way.

Oh contraire my friends!

Right off the bat I realized the song was about a less fortunate reindeer, which had a handicap. As the song states, “he had a very shiny nose, and it glowed”. This handicap was not accepted or over looked by the other deer, “they laughed and called him names”! The song even states, “They (being the other reindeer) would not let him play in any reindeer games”! Do you have any idea how it feels to be left out, not wanted, and made fun of?

When they had no other alternative, Santa came and asked for his help. What did they want him to do, not play in their games, instead, they made him work, pulling a slay all night.

I now realized that many Christmas songs were filled with politically incorrect actions or statements and prejudices. I decided, I could no longer have these songs in my head!

So I gave up on Christmas songs and decided to think about something else. What popped into my head, mistletoe and a kiss from a pretty girl? 

Then it hit me, mistletoe is a parasitic plant, which attaches itself to other plants, usually trees, and will eventually destroy other plants. Who was the genius that decided a parasite should be used to get someone to kiss them?

Now that I have given up on songs and mistletoe, I started to think about the story, “The night before Christmas”. When I realized that this story has a rodent in it, (not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse). I gave up and decided to think about something other than modern day Christmas subjects.

            Finally, I started thinking about the true meanings of Christmas. I began to have happy thoughts, with a smile on this well weathered, senior’s face, as I thought about the birth of Christ, the true meaning of Christmas.

Different subject:

            It was 60 degrees this morning at 6:30 when I began my strenuous exercise program, it doesn’t feel much like December and I am not complaining. The grandees and I washed my truck in the 70 degree midday sun.  

I hope this article did not impact your Christmas spirit!

Don Ford

Merry Christmas 2015

From My present wife and me, we want to wish you a  “Merry Christmas!”

We hope you will enjoy family and friends, and this year, try to be nice to that one odd relative.

                     

       Merry Christmas everyone!

Don Ford

Almost that time 12.17.15

                As the title states, it is almost that time! Time for what, you ask. You must be living in a cave with no calendar if you have to ask that question.

Why do I always get these darn questions, and why do they have to be at the beginning of my story? Now my thought process is totally demolished, I probably will not have another good thought today.

Thanks, I heard that under your breath comment too! So, I never have good thoughts, now you have hurt my feelings, and before you make another comment under your breath, yes, I do have feelings! Would you believe that tears are streaming from my eyes?

“Almost that time”, is the title of this well composed article. I will now explain and show you, how I know.

First, Gabi and Alex were using chalk to draw on the drive way. Alex had drawn Santa’s Bag full of toys and Gabi has drawn Santa himself, as seen in the photo below.

Then there is the Christmas decorations that are presented to the public, from The Ford Homestead, as seen in the professionally composed photo below.

 

                This photo was taken as the lights had just came on and the sky was not totally dark at that time. You may also notice the professionally manicured lawn of the Ford Homestead (I have now mowvaccd of the yard 5 times to get the leaf infestation under control.) [Mowvac is defined as, “using the mower to vacuum the yard”]

                If you will allow me to insert one additional photo, taken this week in the month of December, 2015, in one of the many flower gardens at The Ford Homestead.

                The roses seem to enjoy the large amount of BS that seems to always be produced by yours truly. I think it is nice to be known as, “a BS’er” or as the grandees occasionally refer to me, “Silly”!

If you can’t have fun, don’t do it!

Don Ford

Hieroglyphics 12.16.15

            Before anyone asks, yes, that is the first time I have ever written typed the word, “Hieroglyphics”.

            Why have I inserted the word, “Hieroglyphics” as the title of this soon to be, “professionally written article”? I will articulate the reason to you.

In recent excavations performed by the scientists here at, “The Ford Homestead Scientific Excavating Foundation for the Preservation of Extinct Writings” (aka, FHSEFPEW) we found several Hieroglyphics that have cause our scientists to rethink, “who had created the Egyptian, American Indian along with other ancient Hieroglyphs”.

     

 The FHSEFPEW scientists have hypothesized, “all the ancient Hieroglyphs were created by children, who were home from school due to an illness or an injury”.

Consider for a moment, do you really think any adult, even thousands of years ago would have scribbled (scribble use to be the term for these markings) those odd markings, now known as Hieroglyphs. Get real, even a caveman would not have scribbled on the walls of caves, it had to be their off spring.

We will soon have the complete published report available on line for a small donation!

News Flash:

Alex received an injury which required a visit to the emergency room, Sunday night. The injury of this type is more prevalent with older persons. His injury occurred while taking a shower. Yep, he slipped and fell hitting his head requiring 7 stitches. Ford Heads are known to be, “hard as a rock!” No, the bath tub was not damaged!

In the photo below we see Alex just after the doctor had finished.

Alex took Monday off from school, to work and play I mean, recover with Papaw.

The injury, which required 7 stitches, did not seem to reduce the young man’s ability to enjoy the day off. We did go to the local Bush’s Chicken café for lunch.

 Using my shadow, he was able to make an outline of “the perfect man”. Before that one person comments, the shadow shows that I may have gained a little weight in my lower body, I am attempting to eat less and work out more.

 

We hope your day is accident free!

 

Don Ford  

A Christmas Story 12.14.15

                If you are not familiar with the TV movie, “A Christmas Story”, (did you notice how I subliminally drew your attention to the title using colored fonts) then you have not spent Christmas Eve at The Ford Homestead! This now considered to be a cult classic TV movie, is shown each Christmas eve at the Fords of Hewitt, usually after we have our now traditional Mexican early repast.

            The TV show sometimes takes a back seat to opening gifts. No, it is not the grandees that insist on the present exchange, it is the adult kids that can’t seem to wait.

 The female leg lamp, sits by my chair year round, and is a reminder of this wonderful TV adventure, “A Christmas Story”.

            Speaking of an adventure, let me tell you of a recent adventure I had.

            What? No, it isn’t the fact that I vacuumed my entire yard again yesterday and this morning the leaves are back covering the front yard again. Please, hold your questions until the end of my tale.

            I have had a few problems with my “windows phone”. The term, “few”, may be a misnomer.

I like that word, “misnomer”. It is not a part of my normal vocabulary, but it seems to fit in well with the written word. It is said that people are often judged by their vocabulary, which is the vocabulary they normally use, not the vocabulary that they understand.

Smart phone may not be the best name for these devices. If the darn thing was smart, why didn’t it fix itself, or at least tell me, how to fix it! I will attempt to keep this account as short as possible.

Something happened to my device, and it would no longer display a key pad. Even though I could still send text messages and emails from the phone using voice to text, I could not correct errors in the text without a key pad.

It is obvious to me that I had touched the wrong setting and messed things up. Yes, like those fine, “career politicians”, I take full responsibility for the outcome!

I spent better than an hour looking at each setting for each application, to no avail.

I consulted with my technical adviser, and he offered several suggestions. All were good suggestions but I could not make them work. I slept on the problem overnight.

The next morning I again started checking each and every setting on each app. To say I was irritated, upset, mad as heck, would not explain my true feelings. I even explained to my present spouse that I have considered using my fine adjusting tool, “the two pound sledge”.

As a last resort I was going to do a hard reset, which would put everything back to factory settings. I pushed the button up popped, “are you sure”, I clicked yes.  It then wanted me to enter my password. I did not have a key pad to enter the password, the smart phone didn’t understand, “that was the problem”.

At this point, “Divine intervention came into play”. I began to see it as funny! I knew I had done something to cause the problem but did not know what it was. Laughing at myself I decided to get away from the problem and vacuum the yard.

The yard vacuumed, shower taken, clean clothes on, I headed to my recliner for a nap. The nap did not come, instead I reached for that darn phone and I began to change the settings on any app that might be related to the key board.

I turned off the blue tooth and for some reason the key pad came back. Wow I had a key pad! Happy as a lark, I had corrected the problem.

I decided to try some other things to make sure they were working. To my surprise my camera would not work. Now what had I done?

I put in two hours sitting in my recliner, needing to take a nap but the nap would not come, trying to get everything working.

Then another “Divine intervention”, turn the darn thing off, and back on was the thought that popped into my head, maybe the phone will do a soft reset.   J

Everything works again, I am happy!

The first photo taken to verify that the camera still works!              Yay!

For a full report of this entire event, book in a hard back copy, and the video to go with it, send $178.26 to the Ford Homestead Foundation, mark the check, “Fone Repair”.

            No I did not spell it wrong, that is the way I wanted to spell Fone!

Now is the time for questions?

            You want to know what the story has to do with the TV show, “A Christmas Story”. “Nothing, it is My Christmas Story and a photo of one of Donna’s Christmas trees. You need to stay focused on what I have written!

May all your devices work as expected!

Don Ford

Short ride, but lots of fun 12.11.15

                Thursday begin like any other day, I bounced out of bed before the crack of dawn full of energy and ready to take on the world. It was about that time that I understood that I am a retired senior and I really do not have any bounce left in me.

            As I had explained in my last revealing article, I now have an exercise bike. I decided to try it out even though the weather was good today. I plan to walk most of the time but ride the exercise bike on bad weather and cold days.

            I started out pedaling but I wasn’t getting anywhere. The light in the garage goes off after a minute or so and it was now very dark, heck I could not see where I was going. That wasn’t going to work so I decided to move the bike outside. After relocating the unit, I again mounted the bike and began to ride.

            All seemed to be going well until this car came down the street, head lights on high, I could not see anything but the bright lights of the oncoming car. Naturally, I wrecked the bike, I ran into the curb. Luckily I fell into this pile of leaves from the red oak trees, so I did not break any bones.

            Mounted up again I was riding like the wind. My breathing and heart rate was elevated, I was exercising. Then another car came up the street, this time it was approaching from behind me. The lights were on high beam but not in my eyes.

            I began to pedal faster and the vehicle was right beside me. I could not pedal any faster and I was tiring quickly. The lady in the car must have thought she was someone special, she rolled down her window and suggested that I get the exercise bike off the street, and at least back in the drive way.

Who did she think she was, telling this senior person and resident at this Homestead of 35 years, to get onto the drive way?  “Female types!”

            Feelings hurt, I drug the unit back into the garage. People should be nicer, I was close to the curb and not bothering anyone.

            Different ride:

            I had decided to ride the bike out to the bunk house today for lunch since the weather was supposed to be so nice. I left the Ford Homestead about 10:20am but the weather had not yet became nice. It was cloudy and very windy, which makes for a less that perfect ride.

I do not enjoy riding in the hot summer sun, but riding on a cloudy day, is somehow depressing.

            Being a seasoned rider, a little wind was not going to discourage me. I thought about which route to take and decided on the short route, which was out highway 6 and was probably the route with the most cross wind.

            I did have a first time situation during this ride. Now, I have been riding since before I was 16, and it is unusual to encounter something new during a ride, but it did happen!

I had passed through Valley Mills, TX and was picking up speed. Traffic was light and I was almost to the speed limit of 75 mph. The wind was from my left blowing at least 20 mph, and there was a big tree near the left side of the road.

You probably think having a big tree beside the road is nothing unusual. This area is open fields, you know, pasture land, less trees more grass. The leaves, were coming off that tree in unbelievable amounts.

Many years ago, while riding with a group of bikes, we rode through a swarm of bees. I saw everyone ducking, luckily I was toward the back of the group and was warned by radio of the swarm so I ducked in behind the windshield and was not stung. This has nothing to do with the leaves, but I wanted to tell you my story about the bees.

Imagine riding into a cloud or a sudden unexpected fog, at near 75 mph. These leaves were falling like a heavy sudden rain. I actually ducked behind the windshield for just a second and then realized they were just leaves. I must say, at a distance the leaves did not seem as numerous but driving through them was a different subject.

I arrived at lunch safely and I must say I enjoyed the food even though I was eating alone. L

After lunch I took the long way back home, I was on roads with more wind breaks, so the ride was more pleasant and the sun was shining.

            I stopped at the gas station to fill the wing with fresh gas. I had dismounted the bike and was opening the gas cap when this female voice said, “that is the right way to get around”. The voice was coming from a little old lady on the other side of the gas pump, who must have been at least as old as me.

            Without invite, she came to my side of the pump inspecting my bike. I explained that it was comfortable to ride and it was kind of the Cadillac of bikes.

She commented that being retired, I must have a lot of time to enjoy riding. Why would she assume that a fellow as young looking as me, would be retired? Was she indicating that I was old?

I told her that my wife says the back seat is very comfortable, kind of like a recliner. That comment seemed to stop this female from hitting on me!

            Tomorrow, if the wind is not blowing, I will likely vacuum the yard again. We are expecting rain and possible storms over the weekend so I should get up as many leaves as I can before the bad weather gets here.

May the winds of life, blow the leaves from your yard!

Don Ford  

Selfie is a tool 12.10.15

            My first wife was making sweets for the Christmas holidays, she was working at the kitchen sink when she announced that the faucet was loose. Naturally, I accused her of being too rough when turning the water on and off, I believe that is when she explained that I would not be enjoying any home cooking in the foreseeable future.

            I, being the man of the house, told her in no uncertain terms, that I would fix the faucet as soon as she finished her work at the sink.

                Getting under the sink is not an easy task for a younger person, and it can be outright impossible for a retired senior.

As you know, I am on a fixed income and could not expect my spouse of 46 years, to work longer hours at picking up cans from the side of the road, in order to pay for a plumber.

Being very intelligent, and somewhat lazy, I began to consider my options. The idea hit me like a ton of feathers. Yes, I know the old saying is, “like a ton of bricks”, but I am too old to be hit by bricks, even if they are imaginary.

What is this marvelous idea, you ask. Let me tell you! I decided rather than crawl under the sink I would take a photo of the situation. I could then determine which tools I would need, and only make one crawl in under the sink.

I can see that you are getting ahead of me.

Yep, I used the selfie stick with my windows phone, to view the work area. It worked, the faucet is now repaired. Not bad for a retired, senior nap taker!

What? Yes I said the phone was a windows phone. You are like others, that kind of look at me funny, when I say I have a windows phone.

Why windows phone, it all goes back to being on a fixed income. A phone like mine can be purchased relatively inexpensively. A phone like yours would take a month of non-stop can retrieval by my present spouse, just to make a down payment.

Different subject and different day;

The weather has been spring like her at “The Ford Homestead”, which has encouraged me to get outside, relax and enjoy retirement, I mean, “work vigorously in the yard”.

Vigorously may be defined as, “walking behind the lawn mower while it vacuums the leaves from the yard”. I like to vacuum every few days so the amount I am picking up, is just a few bags each session. If I wait until they all fall from the trees the leaves will be in piles and the lawn mower don’t like to work that hard.

Yes, I consider the lawnmowers feelings when I use it in yard work. I have even thought about changing the oil in the lawn mower before today’s conquest.

Now that you have swayed my attention to motor oil, I will present you with this senior’s opinion (I was going to say a senior’s view, but since I will be talking about sight, I thought the word view would be inappropriate”, of the lubricant known as, “motor oil”. For this senior it is difficult for me to see the amount of oil on the dip stick, when the oil is new and almost clear. Dirty old oil is much easier to see on the dip stick.

I have very good vision but that small amount of clear oil is difficult to see. Someone needs to invent new oil that looks dirty (that isn’t going to happen) or a dip stick that makes it easier to see the new oil.

Oil changed I began the tedious task of vacuuming the yard, see photo below.

            As you can see, I have made a couple passes through the front yard at The Ford Homestead. I think my vacuum works well. It took a couple hours to vacuum the entire yard front and back. In the middle I did stop and have lunch which was provided by my youngest son David. When Dave makes enchiladas he often makes a few extra for his senior Dad, and Dad’s first wife.

            The lawn chores completed I took a shower and prepared to go to town.

I have been wanting to find a stationary exercise bike to use on the cold days. I could stay inside the garage where it is somewhat warmer, and out of the wind, rain snow and ice and still get my daily exercise.

OK, I made up the snow and ice part, so my northern readers will not feel left out.   

Yes, before that one person asks, there are some good people that live north of Dallas.

What, why north of Dallas?

If it wasn’t for all these questions I might get something done, other than pound on this key board.

I was told by a friend who shall remain nameless, Dalton, many years ago, that anyone who lives north of Dallas is a Yankee.

Now that I think of this, that statement is kind of odd. That unnamed person’s family came, I believe, from the Oklahoma area. Last time I looked Oklahoma is north of Dallas.

Let me know if I am wrong Dalton unnamed person! 

It is so easy to get off the subject. I have wanted an exercise bike but being on a fixed income I can’t afford a real nice one.  I have decided to go to the good will store today and see it they might have a used one at a price I could afford. I just realized my last name is in the word, afford?

I have a bicycle but I don’t want to be out in the rain or cold weather on a bike. Yes I know how to ride a bike!

Back from town, we are now the proud owner of an exercise bike. No the good will did not have one, we are now in debt again.

Thursday morning arrives and I am surprised with what I saw on the grounds at The Ford Homestead. The yard was vacuumed of all leaves yesterday. This morning the wind was blowing and the leaves are back.

The grandees arrived with some time to spare prior to leaving for school and decided to make a pile of leaves that they could jump in. No, it was not my idea. Yes there was enough leaves to make a pile.

Above raking leaves, below in the leaves!

            Kids play all day long, but a grandpa’s work is never done! I just made that up and no there is not another version!

We hope you enjoy the day!

Don Ford

Proud Papa 12.08.15

                This picture is worth 307 words, count them if you don’t believe me.

                The bright sun was shining down on the senior, as he sat in the old rocker with his new toy on his lap.

                First, a response to this well composed photo was likely to be, “why did this fine looking gentleman have a frown on his face”. One viewer thought, it was the bright sun causing the frown.

                In all honesty, the face does not have a frown, it is a stoic look. In an effort to prevent that one person from acquiring a dictionary and looking up stoic, a synonym for stoic is patient or tolerant. The face of this senior has a stoic appearance! 

                Second, you may have noticed that the early Christmas present is green, one of the non-politically correct colors of Christmas. No the chain does not hurt as it rests on my leg.

                “C”, yes the senior has recently had a haircut. In an interview with this senior he was asked why the hair is cut short. His response was, “it is easier to take care of a high and tight haircut”.

                Fourth, one person asked about the red that was showing near the neck of the shirt. Is this retired person wearing red Long Jon underwear and if so, do they have a flap in the back? The long answer to that question is, “NO, and no”.

                “D”, who took the well composed photo? Although this may be a surprised to most of you, this is a selfie. Yes, I do have a selfie stick and as you can see it works. Retired and old people are allowed to have technical toys too.

Well I believe it is time for a well-deserved nap. 

16 days till Christmas, have you acquired my present yet?

Don Ford