Become a swinger 06.28.16

            Have you ever wanted to be a swinger? Being a swinger could be fun, but as we all know has some risks involved, due to the nature of swinging with others that we, do not know. 

            I would like to stray from the subject just for a few sentences if I may. I would like to tell you about being invisible. There was a presentation on the TV the other day about a cloak of invisibility which kind of worked. I have now learned, like many things, invisibility is in the eye of the beholder.

            This tale, is completely factual and that means it is one of the few true tales that has, or will, come from this author.

            My spouse of 47 years and I had brunch at the Cracker barrel and as usual, I was banished to the Ford’s Chevy while my spouse shopped. Finally after what seemed to be many hours of waiting, my first wife came out of the store carrying a package with many lovely items in it, none were for me.

My present wife stopped about 15 feet from the Ford’s Chevy and looked around the parking area. I sat there in the vehicle looking at her as she seemed to look right through me and the pickup. At first I thought it was odd that she would not see a white Chevy pickup with a nice looking gentlemen sitting in the driver’s seat, then I realized that I, along with the pickup, were totally invisible.

I do not know how it happened but I and the vehicle could not be seen. As I sit there marveling at this miracle, my first wife looked around the parking area again, and still did not see the white pick up or the hansom driver.

Finally, I, along with the pickup became visible to mortals again, and my first spouse saw me and the pickup. She came to the truck and got in. I asked, why did you stand there looking around when I and my truck were right in front of you? Her response was, “the truck looked too big so I thought it wasn’t our truck”. Can you believe my first spouse would think of my truck as small!

Let’s see now, what was this tale supposed to be about?  I remember now, “Being a swinger”. As we all know, I am always working on something which is my way of keeping my thought process (brain) working properly. I have a few photos that will show the immense amount of work that I have put into this project and I am still not done.

First we have a front tire from my gold wing with a hole drilled into it. This hole is to be a drain, to let water out of the tire.

 

            I then decided to make another hole in the opposite side of the tire and insert a rope into the hole.

 

I was going to tie a knot in the rope and then decided for safety reasons, I would add a PVC, Tee fitting, which will keep the rope from exiting the hole, making it safer for the swinger, assuming someone will want to swing on it. 

 

I need to get a ladder out of the shed and climb up to a limb, where I can secure the rope, allowing it to be accessible to the grand kids. I never had a tire swing as a kid but my neighbor did.

There are various types of swingers!

Finished  

 

Don Ford

New tires 06.27.16

            When you own a motorcycle you must maintain it and that includes things like new tires. I checked at the cycle shop and a new back tire was $249.99. That seems a little high to me so I passed. For some unknown reason I received an email from a company called Wing Stuff. They had two tires (front and back) on sale for $299.99 with free shipping. That deal is already better than the bike shop. There was an additional incentive and it was a $50.00 mail in rebate, which made the total cost for two tires $249.99.

            I ordered the tires, they arrived in three days. I have always been told to get the new tires on the bike as soon as possible, and go for a ride. That is exactly what I did, see the two tires, one on the seat and one on top the other tire and it is also on the rack on the trunk. I strapped the tires on the bike and whet for a nice long ride, but I did not notice any difference in the ride. I did get some strange looks from people I saw along the way.

 

            I thought new tires would make the ride much better, possibly smoother, but I couldn’t feel any difference in the ride. It isn’t as comfortable riding with the new tires strapped to the back seat and I can’t take my present spouse with me, when those new tires are on the seat.

            Why have new tires if they don’t improve the ride!

Different story, same world!       

            It was a lovely Sunday afternoon, ok it was hot and steamy on this Sunday afternoon, as I headed out to the shed behind the Ford Homestead. I needed to retrieve a couple items from the shed as I had a small project I was working on. I entered the shed and was in the shed for no more than a minute when I began to hear a buzzing sound. It kind of sounded like bees but I assumed it was a machine of some type making the sound.

Having procured the items I needed, I stepped out of the shed and then quickly learned what was making the buzzing sound. There were thousands of bees flying around the neighbor’s tree. I stood there looking at these bees thinking this could be a bad thing.

I walked to the house and retrieved my camera with the telephoto lens. This took all of maybe three or four minutes and I returned to the scene of the infestation. The bees were no longer flying around the tree, hey had instead found a limb and were now occupying it. A couple photos to follow.

 

 

They are high up in the tree, you may be able to click on the photos for a better view. Maybe they will go away tomorrow.

            I have reconditioned an old stool so both grand kids will have a place to sit when at my desk in the computer room. In the photo below the stool is on an old box, I did not want to paint my grass red, so I put the stool on a box and painted.

 

I am good with a spray paint can!

Don Ford

Erections 06.22.16

            Two erections in the last ten days, the first failed, the second seems to be holding.

            Yesterday I mowed the grass and it was 96 degrees with high humidity. I did get all the weeds wacked in the ditch behind the Ford Homestead a couple days ago.

My present spouse has informed me that she is going to allow me to go with her and shop for a new mattress. Our present mattress is kind of old and it isn’t comfortable. Have you seen the price of a mattress? They are selling these things at prices that are marked up from 5 to 15 times the cost, and we the public are dumb enough to pay their price.

            The average mattress cost the retailer from $127.00 to $243.00, then they have to add their markup, and we are expected to buy them. A mattress store does have overhead, and they are somewhat like a car dealer, they don’t sell 10 or 20 mattresses every day. So like car dealers, they need to have a big markup just to stay in business. We ordered a mattress but will not get it until next week (donations will be accepted, mark them as, “Rest for the Fords”.)

            As I was sitting here at the Ford’s desk attempting to provide you, the recipient, an article that would be worthy of your evaluation, Molly decided to, shall we say, “take charge of the desk”. As you will see in the photo below, Molly was tired and needed to rest.

 

            Anyway, I have gotten off the subject, I have now erected the kid’s pool but the kids are out of town! All that work and no one to say, “Nice job Papaw”! I guess that is kinda normal for the retired community, we work ourselves to death, and no one notices.  Poor me!

            Different subject, the last rain we had provided us with almost 4 inches in one night and now we are watering the flowers and garden on a regular basis. I have even noticed cracks in the ground out near the shed. That being said, all the lakes and rivers are still full of runoff water.

            Tuesday was the first full day of summer! The days are now getting shorter, can winter be far behind?             I am you are never satisfied.

Enjoy today, tomorrow may be different!

Don Ford

Snap, craple and pop 06.20.16

            Yep, I know what I wrote as a title, do you? Crap can mean anything, and craple not only rimes with crackle, it has a more inspirational meaning to it. 

Occasionally I find it necessary to create a new word, which by the way, drives my spouse of 47 years crazy! She seems to think I do it all the time verbally, I am not saying she is wrong, but she could allow a senior citizen a little leeway, in the creation of new vocabulary.

By continuing to read this properly composed article, about a partial day in the life of the Fords, you may learn of happiness and sadness beyond belief.

It was a Friday afternoon, the temperature was 95 and the humidity was about 200%. David, Alex and I had drove down to Baylor University to pick Gabi up after class. Yes you read that correctly, my Grand Daughter is going to Baylor University. Yes she is only 9 years old but a Baylor student, all the same!

            After picking Gabi up, we stopped at a well-known fast food establishment, one of the nicer in this area, “Bushes Chicken”, as the kids needed nourishment, while Dave and I needed an ice tea. We then drove to the Ford Homestead, where I backed onto the drive as usual, allowing for a quick exit. This is an old habit from when I was a fireman.

            As we disembarked from the Ford’s Chevy there was a snap, craple and popping noise. Our attention was directed to a tall tree on the back 40. A limb was breaking as we exited the vehicle. It did not fall, it just hung there, over the location of where the pool should have been. See photo below.

            Have you ever had bad news that turned out to be good news? Well you should read on as this tale has two examples of news being both, good and bad.

            First consider this. My first wife bought a pool for the kids and encouraged me to install it. The pool had a leak in it, and I had to take it down, “Bad news”. The tree limb that broke was over the area where the pool should have been, since the pool was not there, the leak which was originally bad news is also, “good news”. (I know someone doesn’t understand, so think about it, if the pool was there the limb when it finally falls would have hit the pool, why do I have to explain everything!)

            The limb was very high near the top of a large tree. I had tried most of the day Saturday to find a way to get that limb down. I even put a four foot extension on my 16 foot pole saw (made it 20 foot and very hard to handle) I got on top of an eight foot step ladder and I still could not reach the broken part of the limb.

Later in the day when all hope seem to be gone, I asked for a little help from above. With this divine help, I was then able to get a rope with a weight on it up in the limb and twisted around a limb. I then, after much straining, was able to make the limb fall to earth. Photo below.

 

            Again, we have good news which is also bad news. The good news was that the limb fell to the ground and the bad news was the limb fell to the ground! 

            Earlier in the day I had hauled off a trailer load of limbs and now I am starting to fill the trailer again. As I was waiting in line to have the limbs removed from my trailer, I noticed what at first appeared to be some type of ancient writing on the million gallon water tank that I was parked next to. It is difficult to see in the photo below, you may see it better if you click on the photo.

As I viewed the drawing I realized it was not a drawing but cracks in the tank. I was hoping it did not give way while I was sitting there.

            What, you have a question. Ok, what is your question? Oh, I thought that was obvious! The question is, how was getting the limb down both good and bad news. Good news is I got it down, bad news I got it down and now I have to start rebuilding the pool, which is a lot of work for this retired senior citizen!

            Don’t retire, there is too much work to do.

May your news, always be good!

Don Ford

Patience, lots of it 06.17.16

The fact is, all the patience in the world did not help the grandkids as they set up business at the end of the drive way.

We had been playing in the back yard when they decided to pick some black berries. I had planned to get the weed eater out and clean out the ditch behind the Homestead when the kids got tired and returned to the house. That plan went south when they did not go back into the house.

Alex decided that he was going to sell these berries. He went to the house and had Granny to wash the berries and make him a sign. The sign which reads in part, 2 Blackberries $1, it seemed a little high to me, but who am I to judge. Gabi decided to pick some cherry tomatoes and offer them for sell also. 
            The fact that we live on a dead end street means we have little or no traffic.

They patiently waited for a car to come down the street but the cars did not come.

They asked if they could walk down the street and knock on people's doors trying to sell these items. I explained that nobody would be home.

Alex saw somebody down the street mowing his yard and wanted to approach him but I suggested that we could not bother anyone who was mowing.

They were taking turns holding the sign even though nobody had gone by? There were a couple cars that came down the street but they all turned at the corner.

There was some grass at the end of the drive that I had not cleaned up and they both got brooms and began to sweep the debris down the street, cleaning their sales area. I appreciated that!

   

            They sat there until the sun made its way high enough and was shining on them, that is when they returned to the house allowing me to bring the chair and stools back to the house.

Patience is a virtue, but it doesn’t always pay well.

Don Ford

Let's face it 06.15.16

            We all need to face tough situations in life, some are very scary, while others are just odd.

            I have wrote in the past about feeling as if I were being watched by both humans and animals. I now want to discuss other types of surveillance, possibly by aliens. 

            Now an alien may come in many different forms, they are not all flying around in a space ship, or these gray, big headed beings that some of us have met. Aliens can be in the form of anything, even inanimate objects. These beings are there, but most normal people just do not have the ability (imagination) to see them.

            I, have the ability to see things that normal people, just can’t comprehend. I am going to post a photo of one of these aliens that has been watching me for a while now, but in truth, I doubt that you will be able to see this Alien, as you likely do not possess the observational skills needed (imagination). 

In the photo below, you may want to click on it (enlarge) in order to see the eyes, nose and mouth of the alien, that has been observing and learning of me, in the tree limb. The tree limb is in the pecan tree and it faces my old rocker which provides him with hours of quality observation time.

 

Those two white eyes make it easy to see this alien, he has a Ford nose (nice large nose) but I don’t know why he is smiling, unless he understands just how special I am, and that his task, to observe this special human, is a good job to have!

Recent studies at, “The Ford Homestead’s Institute for Alien Communications”, has uncovered the following:

Aliens only report back to their leaders once a week and that is done at night, so as to not disturb any humans. These Aliens use various forms of communication with their leaders. If you are awake at 3:00 am and hear an owl hooting, or a frog crooking, or possibly a dog that will not stop barking, that is the alien reporting to his superiors. 

The above text is in the aliens hand writing.

You may want to look around your homesteads for aliens. If you do not find any, don’t worry, it just means you are not interesting enough to be watched!

If you have replied, please ignore the rest of this posting.

I understand that some of you do not read the silly emails I send, but do read the postings. This is an effort to inform those readers;

It is that time when you can do nothing, and automatically stop receiving these silly emails.

          That’s right, you need to do nothing to unsubscribe.

(Emails will automatically stop July 1^st, if you do not respond)

If you want to continue receiving these silly emails, send me a note, saying something like, “Continue”.

                             Thanks

They are watching, don’t act silly!

Don Ford 

Mid to upper 90s 06.14.16

            To say it is hot and humid would be an understatement. I attempted to go out onto the front porch to sit, just to ponder world situations. It was so hot, I was forced to take a fan with me.

Think about it, where would a senior citizen, wanting to sit on his front porch, who is on a fixed income, whose present spouse has to pick up cans from the highways and bi-ways, in an effort to have enough money for food, get the resources to pay for a fan.

I have three fans that are used almost daily, one at my recliner, one in the computer room, and one by my bed. These are handmade, manual fans, requiring a physical effort on my part, to feel somewhat cool.

One of my fans has a dual purpose. It is used to help me cool off, and it can be used when my senior neighbor wants to come across the street and sit in the shade to discuss world problems.

What? Yes, I said, “it can be used when my senior neighbor wants to come across the street”. Why does that seem to be an odd statement to you?

What? You want me to tell you how it is used to help my senior neighbor, no I will not tell you let me show you. See photo below!

Click on photo to enlarge.

Yes it is handmade! When I see my senior neighbor attempting to walk across his yard, I can take my fan to the street and use it to stop traffic, which will allow my senior neighbor to safely cross the street. Before you comment, yes I can act somewhat like a school crossing guard.

Before someone asks, the opposite side of the fan has the word, “GO”, on it. What else would you expect? 

Being on a fixed income, one can’t afford to purchase fans made at a factory. If you want to donate to help us stay cool send your donations to, “The Ford Foundation to Keep Cool”. All donations are fully ^non-tax deductible. Letters of appreciation will be sent to all benefactors.

Help your senior neighbor,

If not already,

You will be one, someday!

Don Ford

Fruit of the vine 06.13.16

            I have partially recovered from the devastation of, “The Most Recent Leak”.

One should remember this is the second leak that has occurred at the Ford Homestead recently, both costing a lot of money that we have so little of. If for some reason you are unaware of the leaks I refer too, that would indicate that you have not been, “Religiously reading my Blog postings”!

I should note, it seems as if many of you have stopped littering along the highways and bi-ways of Texas, making it very difficult for my present spouse to acquire her daily quota of aluminum cans.

Please toss those aluminum cans out of your vehicles as you drive, make it easier on my wife!

Today I want to present you with a photo, for some it will be amazing, while others will see it as less than interesting. 

Here at the Ford Homestead, we have, “Two beauties”, that almost look alike, but they are different.

There is the conjoined twins on the right, while on the left is just a single oddly formed fruit. To be sure I am correct in my presentation, you may notice that the conjoined twins have two umbilical cords, while the odd ball (on the left) has one.

We have had many great tasting tomatoes from the Garden spot, this year! We are unsure about these two, or three, whatever!

I would like to state that I was a gentlemen, and a Good Samaritan today, but that would not be totally true. Samaritans live in Samaria, I live in Hewitt!

To restate my thought, “I was a Gentlemen, and a Good Hewmairitan today”! Hewmairitan is similar to Samaritan, except it means one is a good person who lives in Hewitt!

As I was enduring enjoying my morning stroll, I picked up several pieces of debris from the street, and properly disposed of them. Why was this trash in the street? It may have been due to the almost 4 inches of rain we received last night. Yep, we had gone a whole week without rain, and then a refreshing thunderstorm pounded the central Texas area last evening.

As I was walking this morning I heard a noise of someone closing a trash container lid. It is a distinctive noise, so I looked in the general direction. There was a female subject, who appeared to be a senior person, possibly many years older than I, using a walker, standing at the trash cart. I walked on. On my return trip (just a minute later) the senior person had folded her walker and placed it on top of the trash cart. She was trying to push the trash cart to the street. I offered to help and she accepted my gentlemanly offer.

Good deed completed I proceeded on my morning stroll.

  

Enjoy the fruit of your labors!

Don Ford           

In the beginning was the word 06.11.16

            The entire statement, which sounds almost, “Biblical” in origin, is as follows. “In the beginning was the word, and the word was, get your behind off the sofa and set up the kids swimming pool, or else!” That statement was made by ruling wife here at the Ford Homestead. 

            I don’t want to say that she was bossy, mean, demanding or any of hundreds of terms that might come to mind, I just want you to understand that my dearest spouse had instructed me, and I was obedient.  I have photos showing the entire process.

The site was prepared properly and in the same spot as in previous years.

 

Tarp laid, some water in the pool, wrinkles in bottom removed. This work was all done by a senior citizen (me) on my hands and knees!

 

Below, the pool is about half way full.

 

Below, the pool is filled, will I now be able to rest?

 

As I began to pick up the tools and prepared to put the cover on the pool, I noticed a little water on the ground near the pool. Being the inquisitive type, I decided to track the water to its source. The source was a small hole in a seam, with approx. two drops of water per second.

            I unhappily decided to call the manufacture for instructions. To make a short story long, I must drain the pool, cut a hole in the pool and take a photo of the hole.

Below pool being drained!

 

I am then instructed to send the photo of the hole along with a copy of the receipt to the manufacture, and they will, hopefully, send me a new pool.

I will then be allowed to work my old behind off, installing another pool and put another 3000 gallons of water in it. Oh, I will be responsible for getting rid of the old pool liner too!

I hope the new one don’t leak.

May your day be filled with happy thoughts!

Don Ford   

Typical 06.09.16

                This morning after popping out of the rack and jumping into my clothing, I proceed outdoors and engage in my morning ritual of, “severe exercise”. I like to put in 30 minutes of high speed walking through the neighborhood while meditating.

I have a small problem in that, I have a tendency to criticize, I mean observe my surroundings. To a well-trained observer like me, it is difficult to not see the failings of other home owners in the area.

I was nearing the end of this high speed exercise program, when I observed a female subject jogging down the street that I was approaching. The female subject made her jogging seem easy, as if she were coasting. She was going downhill, so she may have been coasting. I approached the corner where the two streets meet, and I could smell a female subject’s perfume. She may have been jogging in an effort to get the overwhelming smell, off her body. 

Later at the Homestead; as my acute hearing was picking up what the TV in the other room was stating, I began to contemplate why a normal person would pay to see this.

They were talking about a female athlete (but this applies to all paid athletes) who was making 30 million annually in her chosen work (I didn’t say sport or game, because I don’t believe her work is a sport) while also taking drugs to enhance her work performance.

Why would anyone pay to see these athletes at work? These people are being paid a heck of a lot more money that you are I to do their job. Personally, I believe that you should not have to pay to see them at work, you should get in free. The owners would make enough money off the concessions stands.

If these athletes were paid $15.00 per hour they would not be taking all the drugs or cheating in other ways to win at their chosen labor. Why do so called normal people want to waste their hard earned money to see someone take a stick or racket and hit a ball, toss a ball at a basket or kick an odd shaped ball?

If you want to watch someone work, why not use all the cameras at all the employers throughout the world. You could sit at your computer and watch people work all day, and not need to pay to watch. This could even be fun, as many so-called workers, have unique ways to make it appear as if they are working when they are not.

We could install the tattle-tale app, (this app is the property of the Ford Homestead, to purchase this app click on our website) which would allow you to earn money or credits for reporting on someone who is not working. There would be double points for telling on someone who is not safe in their work. 

As Bernie and Hillary said, we need to get rid of these huge income differences (which would not apply to any career politician) and see that everyone is equal. When we become totally socialistic in America, everyone except for the ruling class (career politicians) will be equally poor! The ruling class (career politicians) must have more of everything, so they can keep up appearances.

   

You may have picked up on the fact that I am not a fan of any sport, or anyone who is a socialist.

I hope you are not being watched as you work,

or at least that you are not reported for being lazy!

Don Ford

Sonny or Sunny 06.07.16

            They always called me sonny as a child but was it because I was their son or could it have been the fact the sun always followed me everywhere I went.

            What caused me to harken back to my childhood days? Possibly the two following photos might provide the solution. The two photos taken on separate days provides you with a good example of my statement that, “The sun always follows me, everywhere I go”.

  click for larger view.

Above, as I was preparing for an early morning ride with friends, one can see that the sun was attempting to provide me with early morning light, hopefully keeping me from feeling lonely. It was about 7:00am when this photo was taken while I gathered items for the ride. More about the ride later.

Below is a photo that was taken this morning as I was sitting on my recliner, attempting to enjoy a cup of coffee, as Charlie (not pictured) was on the top back of the recliner protecting me?

 

The sun is always there, no matter where I go.

In an effort to be totally transparent (political term meaning to see through, to expose, to have no secrets except for those they don’t what you to know about) no one ever called me sonny! Heck I was lucky if they called me for supper!

I will now tell you about the early morning ride to Hico Texas, a small town about one and a half hours from Waco. We went to Hico for breakfast were I had a cup of coffee that wasn’t that good, and an omelet with toast that was ok. During the lively conversation at the breakfast table the fellow setting across from me said, “You aren’t going to like this, but there is a roach on your shoulder”. 

            He was correct, I did not like that.

            In case you haven’t heard, it had rained in Texas for the last few days, maybe weeks. We started our ride back to the Waco area taking some back roads. The roads were curvy, hilly and provided an interesting ride.

At one point as we were entering a long gentle curve to the right, we became quickly aware that our side of the road was covered in standing water. All the riders were able to move to the opposite side of the road and safely ride around the curve, out of the water.

We observed several roads closed and detour signs on this ride. At one point we came to a bridge where there was a state vehicle with a fellow attempting to slow down and somewhat direct traffic at this bridge. The bridge was covered with water from 8 to 10 inches deep. All bikes crossed safely, one at a time riding in the center of the bridge. I ware leather boots when I ride and for some reason the right boot got wet while the left did not.

I arrived home about 12:30pm, almost 200 miles on the odometer. I rested for a few minutes then went outside and attacked the yard. 

The yard is mowed, noticed I did not say manicured, flowers watered, I took a well-deserved break.

May all your rides be safe and dry!

Don Ford

Watching you 06.02.16

            Spring has sprung, fall has fell, June is here, and it is wet as “Well”, as wet as a rain forest in the wet season!

            My observation today has nothing to do with the never ending rain. I will start with a question; have you ever been out in your yard and felt as if someone was watching you? No, I am not writing about the times that I am sitting in my old rocker watching others, I am writing about the feeling that some unseen person is watching. The difference here is I am not hiding and watching, I am out in the open and watching!

            Yesterday, late in the afternoon, I decided to visit the Ford’s Garden and harvest some vegetables, necessary to sustain life. Prior to the approaching rain, I also ventured to the blackberry patch where I carefully extracted the ripe blackberries.

It was at the blackberry patch that I began to feel as if I was being observed. I surveyed the area several times before I was able to locate the stalker. Yes. I was being stalked. I decided to get a couple photos of the perpetrator and provide them to you, so you will know, I am not blowing smoke, “this time”! 

First the stalker was hiding in an elevated location, and he kind of blended in with the background. You might click on the photo to get a better look.

 

In the next photo the stalker has moved to a different vantage point to make his observations.

 

In the foreground one can see a few leaves of the black berry patch. Before that one reader asks, no they are not marijuana leaves. We do not photograph the cash crop as any photos of a cash crop could be used as evidence.

Different subject!

Gabi’s 3^rd grade class had their awards ceremonies yesterday and they were nice, Alex graduates from Kindergarten today, and we are going! School is out after noon today.

Get ready, summer vacation is here!

Don Ford