It Happened this way 10.14.16

            Those of you with good memories, who have regularly read my astonishing posts, will remember that I have vacuumed the front yard in years past.

            The other day a neighbor asked me when I was going to vacuum my yard, as he was kind of trying to make fun of the fact that I have vacuumed the yards in past years. Not being bothered by this question, I explained that I have been planning on getting the vacuum out, but I don’t believe it is time. You see, I use the vacuum to remove some of the millions of acorns that cover my yard. These acorns are still falling, so removing what is on the ground will help, but there are more to fall.

            Having nothing special to do yesterday, I brought the Ford’s vacuum out and began vacuuming the front yard. I worked about an hour and covered an area of about 10 foot by 10 foot. That area of the yard actually looks better now, and has many less acorns to step on.

            As I was vacuuming yesterday, a car pulled up and stopped in front of my house. In the vehicle was a young man and his 2 year old daughter, both were staring at me, as if I were a senile senior person. I turned off the vacuum and greeted my audience. The first question from the male subject was, “what are you doing?” I had prepared my answer, as I knew or at least assumed that someone would stop and ask the question.

            I smiled and responded with, “you know how dry the weather has been, we haven’t had rain in about a month, my yard and grass are very dry! I am vacuuming the dust off the grass so it will look better!” With the look of being somewhat surprised, the driver said, “I have never seen anyone do that before”. 

            I smiled and explained, “I was just kidding, I am vacuuming the acorns up from the yard. He said, “Oh that makes more sense than removing the dust”.

            From the 10 by 10 area, I had almost a full red wagon of acorns and other debris to toss in the trash container.

            I guess I will vacuum more today.

            Although I have seen one red oak tree here in Hewitt that has turned orange and red, The Ford’s red oaks are still green and still dropping acorns.

            If you haven’t voted early, get out and do it. There will be long lines on Nov 8^th.

Do you want to be happier? Stop listening to the candidates!

Don Ford           

Hot House Green House 10.00.16

            What’s in a name, it turns out that different names, refer to the same thing. I guess it is kind of like pond and tank, they are the same thing, expressed differently depending on where you are.

            The following statement has nothing to do with the titled subject matter, it is just a memory that happened to pop in to my head. When we first moved to Texas a new friend asked if I liked to fish. I responded in the positive, and he said that his grandfather had a big tank with some large cat fish in it. Being new to Texas the terminology, “Tank”, I had a mental view of a big metal tank that was used to water livestock with some cat fish in it. It turned out to be what the northerner’s call a pond.

            Done with the memory, let us get back to the story at hand.

            I would like to present a few photos of the work which our Construction Manager has produced, in the construction of the hot house.

The first photo is of placing the blocks that will provide a base for the 4 by 4 lumber.

 

In the next photo we see the 4 by 4s temporarily placed on the blocks. Each of the boards will need to be cut to a proper length. Our Construction Manager believes in measuring twice and cutting once. He also used a hand saw for these cuts as he believes he can be more exact.

 

Next we see the 4 by 4s cut to proper dimensions.

 

The construction Manager secured the 4 by 4s at each corner prior to the actual construction of the metal framework.

 

The construction Manager had his son’s help on Saturday afternoon. They made some good progress but at 5:00pm the construction manager said it was time to stop, or he would go on over time. The Ford Homestead could not afford the OT so all work stopped. The construction manager said he thought he could handle the rest of the project himself. 

 

The final day of construction was Monday. Our construction manager worked all day and totally alone, taking only one break for lunch. In the below photo we see the finished product.

 

Our beloved construction manager has completed the installation of the see-through panels, windows and door, and they all work. We would like to thank the grounds keeper for helping but, he got tired and stopped helping after the first day (his pay will be adjusted)!

            The construction manager says his muscles are all sore (we didn’t know he had muscles) and his fingers are super sore due to all the spring clips he had to put in to secure the see-through panels. He will be taking Tuesday off with pay, due to his outstanding effort!

            The grounds manager will prepare the inside for the eventual movement of flowers into the building prior to the real cold weather, it was 82 yesterday (Monday). We are not complaining about the warm temps, we are complaining about no rain!

            Our grounds manager will also need to load all the limbs that were cut prior to the construction project, now that the trailer is empty. The trailer was used to store all the parts and pieces needed for the project.

May all your projects proceed as planned!

Don Ford

Nasty and Nice 10.21.16

            As I begin this adventure into an outstanding article titled, “Nasty and Nice”, it came to mind that someone might think I have miss written the title, wanting to say, “Nasty Nice”. NOPE, the title is correct, “Nasty and nice”! Those of us who are not low information readers, yes I took the term low information from Rush, know that nasty nice refers to someone that can’t stand to have anything be dirty or messy, thus the term Nasty Nice.

            My story is about something that is both, “Nasty and nice”. You are correct, the title seems like a contradiction in terms, but as this story unfolds you will have been informed of the Nasty part and the nice part. I have attached a photo for your review, and this photo will help you understand the nasty part of the tale.

 

The debris on the street is from a couple trees that are planted to close to the street. There are leaves, twigs, and pecans that have been crushed and repeatedly ran over. When I walk through this nasty mess during my morning exercise, the nasty debris crunches under foot. Before you ask, the home owner never cleans anything up from the street.

            Would you believe, I was considering this nasty topic yesterday as I toiled on the foundation of the Hot House? I had previously discussed the hot house with my first wife and we considered the terminology of greenhouse instead of hot house. After a lengthy debate, we settled on the term hot house as we will be attempting to keep flowers warm during the winter months.

            Fall is here!

            I was going to attempt to drill a couple holes in the 4 by 4 boards that would allow me to anchor the frame of the hot house to the ground. I had tools in both hands when I decided to sit down on the 4 by 4 which is 8 foot long. My senior legs were attempting to squat down slowly, allowing my behind to land on the 4 by 4. If you know anything about older male subjects, they usually have less mass in their posterior (Butt) area. This also applies to older gentlemen, such as myself, (less landing area).

            Making a short story long, my posterior missed the 4 by 4 and I fell backwards. Luckily I was close to the ground and there was no objects that could have impelled me, as I quickly descended onto my backside. Nothing was hurt except my pride. I decided that in the future I would lay down the tools and then squat down using my hand/s to guide me into a proper landing. Now you know why there is a sub title of, “fall is here”, fell is here didn’t sound right.

            Let’s get back on subject, “Nasty and Nice”.

            The photo reveals the nasty part (click on it to enlarge), you will need to use your imagination for the nice part. In the afternoon, during the time I am sitting in the old rocker waving at the neighbors as they pass by, I have noticed a large gathering of the white wing doves, landing in this nasty area. What could be so interesting that numerous doves would want to gather there each evening?

            I have the answer. They are eating the crushed pecans. Yes, this nasty debris has food in it for the local wild life. Now you see how it is both, “Nasty and nice!”

            Thanks for spending this time with me!

                May your weekend be only nice!

                Don Ford

They should ask me 10.20.16

            The title of this soon to be well written article, says it all. They really should ask me as I consider many things and understand many things in different ways than the, “Main stream Namers”!

            I understand that, “Main stream Namers” may not be terminology that you use, but just because you don’t use it, or because you are not familiar with the wording, does not mean that it is not used. A Main stream Namer is a person that decides what name to use for an item. These people are not well paid for their services and often do not put much effort into naming items.

            I was standing in front of the mirror this morning, contemplating my activities for the day when I thought about the naming of an item that most, if not all of us, have in our dressing rooms.

            No it is not a razor, please do not try to get ahead of me, I will relate the necessary information in the appropriate time, just calm down!

            Now see what he has done, I am distracted and this wonderful brain of mine has gone to a different subject. Automobile, is a word that they actually got right. Let us consider the following.

            The first non-horse drawn vehicle was referred to as a horseless carriage. That seems to be a good terminology, it was a carriage and it did not have a horse to pull it. Those vehicles had a hand operated crank, which was used to start them. Many people were hurt using this crank as the motor would occasionally misfire (kick back) causing the crank to violently turn in reverse often injuring the person trying to start the horseless carriage.

            The old motors had what was known as a spark advance. The spark advance was hand operated usually mounted near the throttle control on the steering column. The operator would retard the spark during starting (making it easier to start the motor) and then advance it during driving (making the motor more powerful). An interesting factoid, Harley Davidson and Indian motorcycles in the forties had spark advances too. One hand grip operated the spark advance and the other operated the throttle. When one started the old motorcycles they used a kick starter, and from personal experience I can tell you, those motorcycles would kick you back!

            Motors on the old horseless carriages and old motorcycles did not need a battery to make the motor run, more or less like todays lawn mower motor.

            Enough history, let’s get back to the naming of the automobile. One of my relatives was instrumental in naming the Automobile as he worked in the industry. Obviously, mobile means it moves, and the word auto was attached to mobile when these vehicles had batteries added, making them able to start without using a crank, thus automobile.

            All the above information has nothing to do with the item that I was holding in my hand, as I stood there in front of the mirror in the dressing room. Toothbrush is the item I was considering.

            We have done exhausting research here at the Ford Homestead into the creation of the word toothbrush, and have learned the following.

            The person who invented the toothbrush lived back in the 1850s and was a female. She was like many female subjects back then, looking for a man. This female will remain nameless to protect any living relatives. During her life she had lost most of her teeth. One of the most brutal of these losses was when she was kicked in the mouth by a mule. Others of her teeth, just rotted out due to poor oral hygiene in those days.

            Our subject had one tooth left and it was kind of to the front left side of her lower jaw. She wanted to keep this tooth as it could help her appearance when she was looking for a husband. That is when she started using a brush daily, to keep the tooth clean.

            Oddly enough, she found a man that found her interesting and they were married. Her new husband like the idea of using the brush to keep her tooth clean, so he started using the same brush. Not wanting to share slobbers, they decided to get a second brush.

            As time passed their friends noticed that her tooth and his teeth were fairly clean and almost white. Others wanted to know what they were doing to keep the tooth and teeth clean.

            That is when the female decided to invent a small brush for cleaning teeth, which they could sell to others. The business was started, they became rich, and she name the small brush, “Toothbrush” even though it should have been name teethbrush.

They should ask me, before they name anything!

Don Ford

Cats 10.19.16

            As I sit here, allowing my wonderful brain to contemplate all the wonderful information I will impart to you this fine day, I happened to look at the monitor of the security cameras here at the ford Homestead. One camera overlooking the back forty also includes the raised flower bed. I was recently instructed by our C.O.O. (chief operating officer, Mrs. Ford) to have the grounds keeper, I mean manager to move the bird bath from its location and install it in or on the raised flower bed.

            The grounds manager was not happy with this task as the bird bath is made of cement, and the base it sits on is a square 16 inch cement block. There was two reasons to move said bath. One, it was in the way of the new construction of the Ford’s Hot House. Two, my present spouse said to do it!

            Anyway, as I reviewed the output of the security cameras, I noticed a large gathering of white wing doves at the bird bath’s new location. There were so many doves that they were landing on the ground waiting for an opening to get a drink. I don’t think an estimation of 100 doves would have been out of line. It is extremely dry in our area of the world and I assume the doves are looking for safe locations to get a drink.

            Even though you might think the title of this wonderful article. “Cats”, has something to do with the doves, it does not. The title has to do with my morning 30 minute stroll up and down the avenue.

            In the olden days (a year ago) Molly use to come out and walk up to me on the Avenue wanting to be petted. There were times that she would walk beside me as many dogs do with their owner. For some unknown reason she stopped the practice of wanting my attention.

            Twice this week, Charlie has come out to me as I was walking, wanting to be petted. I have no idea why he has begun this activity but he has. This morning he came out to me and laid down in the street wanting to be petted. I obliged him for a minute or so then I began walking again. To my surprise Charlie began walking beside me, almost as if he were on a leash. Charlie was closest to the curb as we walked. It was so nice to have a friend, even if it is a cat, to walk with me.

            Walking alone is not a lot of fun, and having a companion walk with you is nice! Suddenly it happened, Charlie stopped walking and began to play with something in the leaves. I am not sure what it was, but it could have been a cricket.

            Do you know how sad it is to have your companion desert you in the middle of a walk? No one to talk to, no one to share your accomplishments, alone again in the middle of this big city. L

Be there for your friends, crickets go to…

Don Ford

Construction 10.18.16

            This tale involves our grounds manager and our senior construction manager, here at the Ford Homestead. Some of you know that each year, prior to winter, our Grounds Manager brings some flowers into the Garage (these are the hanging baskets) and he also builds a makeshift hot house for the other flowers. This so called hot house is made from plastic pipe and clear plastic sheeting which is located on the patio near the back door. This type of temporary hot house works, but it is not visually pleasing.

            It has been suggested by the C.O.O. (AKA my spouse of 47.5 years) that the Ford Homestead have a real “hot house”, to place flowers in during the winter months, located somewhere on the back forty. Our grounds manager went to the construction manager and asked that one be constructed prior to cold weather. It was 93 degrees yesterday, Oct 17^th 2016, which tied the record high for the day. We are somewhat troubled that the construction manager may not be in a hurry to construct the hot house, until the weather cools off.

            Believe it or not, we have received several nice donations recently allowing us to purchase the materials. It is agreed that both the grounds manager and the construction manager will work together on this project.

            First, they will need to place corner blocks, which will require some digging. These blocks must be placed in a level manner, on which the foundations of 4 by 4s will be located.

            At some point they will need an assistant to help with the roof frame work. Then they will need to have a day with little or no wind to install the side and top panels.

            We are hoping this work can be performed with minimal disagreements. When they get the hot house constructed they will need to design and install some type of racking.

            Knowing the grounds and construction managers, we are not too optimistic that this project can be completed prior to cold weather.  

Managers, cooperation is the key!

Don Ford

Give Back continued 10.14.16

            This is a continuation from day before yesterday’s posting.

            To bring you up to date, Wednesday I was going to return an SD card (cost $4.99) to Best Buy. I had ordered said card and after three weeks had not received it. I phoned BB and they sent a replacement next day. Four more weeks passed, then I received the original SD card via snail mail. That term actually applies to the US post office in this situation.

            I was going to return said card on Wednesday morning, but due to a repair to the area above the garage door we could not close the door so I was informed that I would stay home and guard the Homestead while my spouse of 47.5 years went to town. 

            Now you have been brought up to date, let’s continue with my electrifying article.

            Thursday I was allowed to leave the Ford Homestead to venture into town. I was one block from the Homestead when I observed what I consider to be, “a stupid person”! Yes, if this person was standing in front of me I would tell him that I believe him to be stupid! I have the feeling I may upset a reader or two with that comment, but I do stand by it!

            It was a male subject that I believed to be 50 years old. This subject was riding a bicycle toward me. His head was shaved, not a hair on his head was showing. I now assume that he was bald, and had shaved the remainder of his head. What brought my attention to this male bike rider, it was a tattoo on that large bald head. I have seen both male and female dummies with tattoos on their heads in the past, but this one beat them all.

            I digress, let me get back to my story. One of my good friends and a reader of these outstanding postings noted that I have a tendency to often occasionally get side tracked, when I am relating a story, so let’s get back to the story!

            I first went to the bank and ask for money, then I went to the Starbucks for a coffee, continuing on to the Home Depot to procure some spackling compound, then I ventured on to the Best Buy which did not open until 10:00am. I went to the return goods area and a young lady helped me. I explained the situation, handed her the item, she scanned it into the computer and gave me a receipt showing I had returned it with no credit coming.

            Note: that employee took care of the return properly, but did not say Thank You to me. I did expect a Thank You.

May all your returns have a Thank You!

            What? You have a question? I have completed the story, there is no more discussion of the subject. I do not knowingly cheat anyone, end of story!

            What? You have a question about the bald headed man, why didn’t you say so, I can’t read you mind, assuming you have one.

            What is your question? Ok, that is actually a good question. Our interrogator wants to know what the tattoo was, on the skin heads, head.

            That is a reasonable question. This person’s entire bald head had a tattoo of a brain. From the front, side and rear, one could see the tattoo of a brain. He had red, pink and blue ink, making this Tat stand out. Yes I slowed down and looked in the rear view mirror, as I could hardly believe my eyes.

Could it be that he had a,

Tattoo of a brain, because he had no brain!

Don Ford

Give Back 10.12.16

            It only took a couple seconds to know what I was going to do! Yes, I know that for the average person, it would not have even entered their mind, but as we all know, “I am not average”!

            This story began seven weeks ago when I had ordered three items from Best Buy. Two of the items arrived as scheduled but one did not. The last item was a $4.99 SD card, and was not needed as quickly as the other two items. After three weeks I called Best Buy to see what happened. They had no idea why I had not received the item and said they would send another, next day delivery. They also said they would put ten dollars back on my card. I said it was not necessary to give me the $10.00, I just wanted the item I had ordered.

            They noted that the $10.00 was their way of making up for the lost item. I finally agreed. The replacement SD card arrived the next day and the ten dollars was put back on my card.

            Yesterday, some seven weeks later, I received the first SD card via “Snail mail”. Now I have an SD card that I did not pay for. I told my first wife that I was going to take it to the Best Buy store as it is not mine. I try never to cheat anyone, as I don’t want to be cheated. Heck, twice I have received an extra $20.00 from the ATM at my bank and have given it back both times.

            Now that I think of it, the people at the bank looked at me funny, when I gave their money back! 

            Anyway, I will drive over to the best buy and give them their SD card back this morning.

Very different subject:

            I was relaxing in the recliner the other day as I clicked through the few channels I occasionally watch, when I saw these so called mountain men, in a small boat with a small motor, leading several horses, one with a colt, into a lake. The idea was to get the horses to swim behind the boat to the other side. Since I had not watched the entire made up show, I was assuming they could not ride around the lake as it was too far.

            They made it to the other side and did not lose any of the horses. I was wondering what kind of boat the camera crew were in, probably a very big boat as they need camera personnel, the director, first aid personnel, and of course someone to provide the food for those people not on film.

            I digress, seeing the horses swimming across the lake reminded me of a time before I was old enough to drive. A friend named Steve had a horse. The horse was about 13 hands tall and was built like a work horse, heavy and muscular. Steve and I rode this horse a lot and one day it was decided to ride the horse across the pond (tank for the Texans in the reading group) that was in the field behind his house.

            Steve rode the horse into the water and it willingly swim across the pond. Then it was my turn and I must say it was an odd filling as the water passing by my legs had a tendency to push me to the back of the horse. It was fun and the horse did not seem to mind. Before that one person asks, yes we rode bare back, only a nut would ride a horse in to water with a saddle on!

            That was all, I just remembered riding a swimming horse and wanted to share the experience whit you, my favorite reader! Yes you are my favorite! 

            What? A question? Ok, what is your question? Ok, you are correct, most people probably do not know that a hand is a measurement used when explaining how tall a horse is. At least it was used when I was a kid. A hand is said to be 4 inches, so 13 hands is 4 X 13 or 52 inches. That was a good question! Keep asking good questions, and “you”, may become my favorite some day!

           I wanted to go to Best Buy to give them their property but I had repaired an area above the garage door and we could not shut the door due to a large clamp. My present spouse went to town and I had to stay at home to guard the Homestead.

            I will attempt to go to the store tomorrow morning and follow up with more input (tell the rest of this story).

            Our Grounds Manager pulled weeds today and the black berry garden looks much different. Photos to follow, one is before and two is after.

       

The grounds manager did good work today!

May all your weeds be removed!

Don Ford

Old memory, New thought 10.11.16

            It was a typical day for this elderly senior citizen, as he attempted to begin his morning exercise. The temp was in the low 50s, causing his frail body to become chilled to the bone. He had procured his present wife’s sweat shirt, having none of his own, and he found an old ragged cap which would partially protect his fragile head from the extremely cool weather.

            Who was this elderly senior citizen? You guessed it, me! I began this long walk down the avenue as the darkness seem to close in on me. This darkness caused me to not see everything clearly, more or less as if, I were blind. It was at this point in time that I begin to harken back to another time and place when the sun was shining brightly and the temperature was a warm 86 degrees. I was about 19 years old, and I was driving home for lunch. About a block and a half from my home I observed an older gentleman, a neighbor of ours, walking in the center of the street.

            The gentleman lived across the street from me and always walked with a cane. The cane is important to the story because it was, “red and white”, indicating that he was blind. Somehow he had gotten off the side walk into the street.

            The old neighborhood had sidewalks in front of all the houses, and alleys behind the houses were the garbage cans were placed for pickup. In the olden days we did not put our trash in front of our homes for pickup. People walked on the sidewalks, not in the street. Kids, for the most part, would roller skate, play hopscotch and ride their bikes on the sidewalks.

            Seeing the gentleman in the street I stopped my car. And walked up to him explaining that I am his neighbor and I would be happy to help him get back on the sidewalk. He was happy to except my invitation. Taking my arm, we walked to a near driveway and then onto the sidewalk.

            He explained to me that driveways can be a problem to a blind person, and that was how he got into the street. Using the cane he is able to determine that nothing is in front of him, while also determining the edge of the side walk. When a blind person comes to a driveway (no longer an edge of the walk) he may assume he has moved away from the edge of the sidewalk, and in an effort to correct the direction of walk, turn slightly. When a blind person gets disoriented by a driveway and into a street, he will not be able to reorient himself without help. 

            I was able to get him back on the side walk, explain exactly where he was in this block, and he was ready and able to navigate home.

            After those thoughts had rushed through my head, I began to consider the same situation in today’s world. What are the odds that a teenager would help, I would hope they would but… I also considered that a teenager today might see this as an opportunity to rob someone who could not see him?

            Other individuals might consider this man as someone trying to look helpless, in an effort to rob or do harm to them. Believing the person was faking the blindness, they would likely not stop and help. Even worse, and more likely to happen in today’s world, the driver would be texting as they drove past the blind man in the street and not even see him.  

            I would hope that anyone would help, but I doubt it.

May your memories all be nice!

Don Ford

He just left 10.10.16

            The title says it all, he just left without a how do you do! Yep, our Grounds Keeper, I mean Grounds Manager, decided to take vacation, without notice, and he took the Fords Chevy and drove it to Missouri, putting almost 1500 miles on the truck.

            Monday morning he got up at his usual time, got dressed, tossed some items in the Chevy and departed the Ford Homestead at about 7:00am. As we now understand it, he arrived in Cape Girardeau, Missouri about 6:30pm the same day. We have now questioned him about the drive to Missouri and his main comment was that most of the rest stops in Arkansas were closed for remodeling.

            Let see now, the state of Arkansas is wasting money on remodeling toilets. One would think that career politicians must have been involved, as the decision makers were not “smart enough” to only remodel every other one, which would have provided rest stops for the weary travelers.

            The above restoration of the out houses in Arkansas, caused our Grounds Manager to stop at fast food joints establishments in order to get out of the vehicle and walk around. He did later state, “The fast food establishments had cleaner toilets than most rest stops”, but he felt obligated to purchase something in order to partially compensate each establishment’s owner, for the use of the facilities.

            Our grounds manager was able to secure a place to stay at his sister’s home in Missouri, which was good, as he is also on a fixed income, and it would have been embarrassing if he had to sleep in the back of the Fords Chevy.

            We also learned that our Manager had communicated with his younger sister prior to the trip, and he was advised to bring a jacket or hoody, he did not know what a hoody was, so he took a sweat shirt. During our post trip interrogation of the manager, we learned that it was warmer in Missouri during his visit, than it was here in, The Lone Star State!

            During one of his drives around the area he took a photo of his old home place, see photo below. When he lived in the house, there was a garage door where the bay window is now, and the home did not have a fire place.

 

The Manager noted that his old home was located close to his first wife’s parent’s home, photo to follow.

 

            The grounds manager noted that he enjoyed his time in Missouri visiting with family. He was able to procurer some BBQ sandwiches to eat during his time in the State, and additional sliced meat to bring home to those of us who stayed at The Ford Homestead during his vacation. He knew he would need to have something to bribe us with upon his return.   

            He explained that there were many commercial trucks using the highways during his drive to and from Missouri, and they were all driving at or below the speed limit, which was somewhat annoying to those who desired to drive a little over the speed limit.

            While the Grounds manager was away those of us who were at the Homestead had to take care of all the work including the grounds Managers work! The pecans began to ripen, meaning they were opening and dropping the “Cons” (as Alex and I refer to them) onto the ground, photo to follow, click on the photo to enlarge.

 

            Before you ask, the Grounds Manager will have his pay docked for leaving us here to do all his work for the week. No, we will not be terminating his employment, this time, but a note will be put in his file!

It was kind of nice while he was gone! J

Don Ford