I was thinking the other day about how things have changed over the years, from the way it was for me as a child and teenager and the way it is now.
One of the things that caused me to begin considering these changes, was a news announcement. Without going into the details about the so-called news, a teenager had died in an accident and they were offering counseling to any students at the school.
Many years ago when I was a teenager, a teenaged friend of mine died. He was on a date and became involved in an auto accident, He received broken bones in his chest. The injuries from the accident didn’t kill him but it allowed the doctor to learn that he had bone cancer. Kenny lived for another year before he passed. As he came closer to death, we were not allowed to visit him. When he finally passed, I along with other friends were asked to be pallbearers. This meant we had to miss school for the day, so the school new why we were not there.
There were no offers to talk with a councilors at school or anywhere else, for those of us who were Kenny’s friends. The only time I talked with a guidance counselor at school was when we were choosing classes for next year. To the best of my memory, no one asked how we felt about Kenny’s death. Emotions didn’t seem to be anything we talked about. Possibly not sitting around talking about death was better on us than if we would have talked and thought about it. It wasn’t something that was on my mind after the funeral.
Another difference for our family, in the olden days, a pet was just an animal to our family. If your dog or cat died it wasn’t a big deal, after all they were just animals. Cats were kept mostly to catch mice and dogs were often kept either for hunting or as a watch dog.
Our son Patrick was given a baby pig. We lived out in the country and had an area in which we kept the pig. The pig was more or less a pet but he grew big fairly quick. When the pig got to a couple hundred pounds I loaded him into the pickup and took him to be butchered.
I am not complaining about my upbringing, I am just pointing out a few things that occurred, or did not occur in my early life. In truth, I can’t remember ever being hugged by either of my parents. I am sure I was hugged as a youngster but I have no memory of being hugged. I do remember giving my mom a hug when I noticed I was taller than she was. That is when she told me, “You’re not too big to get a spanking”!
I can’t remember ever hearing mom or dad say, “I love you”, to each other, or to me. We were treated with love, but the word just wasn’t used.
Just some old memories, not bad memories, just memories.
Don Ford
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