The Itch 12.24.17

                Well, I see that one of the many followers of my posts, has already made up his mind as to what the title of this soon to be published article, means. Ha ha, you are wrong! It isn’t about, “The seven year itch”! You should learn to read, enjoy and not presume you know what is coming. This posting has nothing to do with the seven year itch, although, we could write about it in a future article.

                I have personally commented on this subject many times in the past, and so have others here at The Ford Homestead Institute for the Prevention of Itch Disorders. Some of those who have commented on the Itch subject, other than my dog Tres who has the itch most of the time are, Rev. Ford, Our Grounds Manager, our Maintenance Supervisor, our Lead Inventor of Trinkets and many others, too numerous to name.

                In a recent 5 year study, here at the Institute for the Prevention of Itch Disorders, with six hundred and 12 participants, we learned the truth about the itch! The itch we were studying is, “The itch that occurs when your hands are covered in something like grease, soap, paint or other substance that you would not want to rub on your face, eyes, ears or other parts of your body”.

                We had initially believed there was a mental disorder that cause this Itch to occur, (you may believe the writer of this article has a mental disorder) but have now learned there is no disorder involved. The following is a summary of our findings, (can you believe your government funded this study to the tune of 2.8 million dollars).

Summary:

                The Human body has itches many times daily.

                The human only notices said itches when they can’t easily scratch the itch.

                It has been determined, there is no itch disorder!

 

If you would like a detailed print out of the entire study send $125.00 to the Ford Homestead Institute for the Prevention of Itch Disorders study, allow 9 years for delivery. 

                               

Today is Dec 24^th, I have posted this article with out and email to the readers, as I do not want to bother anyone during the holidays!

 

Got the itch?