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Monday, December 18, 2017

Odd Looks 12.18.17

                The other day I received some odd looks from people I don’t know. It is not unusual for me to get odd looks or should I say, “The Look”, from Gabi, Alex or my present spouse. They have a tendency to give me “The Look”, when I make a statement about anything. 

                There were people who were giving me the odd look, as I washed, our so called dog, “Tres”. Why would anyone even care that you are washing your dog, all you are doing is trying to make him smell better.

                There was one woman who almost had a wreck as she was driving by and watching me wash the Tres! Now that I think of it, she was probably ogling my back side, thinking how nice it looked. I do have a cute…, well let’s not get started talking about my back side right now! 

                Tres needed a wash job and my spouse of 48 years was not available to help me. It is usually a two person job as one person holds Tres, and the other applies the soap and water. I knew he needed a bath as the dog smell was, shall we say, “Over powering”.

                I had thought about how I could effectively wash said dog with minimal effort. The Ford Homestead Dog Handler, also known as, The Grounds Manager, was still on vacation. So, I would have to do all the dog washing myself, or hire someone to wash him.

                I loaded said dog in the Fords Chevy and went to the local dog groomer to get an estimate on a wash job. You wouldn’t believe what this person bid, just to wash the Tres! My spouse would have to pick up aluminum cans along the heavily traveled highways, all through the Christmas holidays, just to compensate the dog washer for one wash job!

                I would not feel right, having my present spouse out on those unsafe roads, in the evening hours looking for aluminum cans, while I was home enjoying a Christmas movie. That just would not be right!

                Speaking of the unsafe highways, I found two freshly killed possums on the road the other day. They were kind of fat and had not been ran over too many times. I brought them home, skinned and gutted them, and hung them in the shed. There is nothing better than aged possum in a soup with vegetables (let them hang in the shed for 14 days, it will tenderize them).

                I also found some wild onions for the soup, and if you go behind the grocery store about 10:00pm, you will usually find vegetables that they have tossed out. We are going to have a nice Christmas Possum and vegetable soup on Christmas day!

                It seems as if I may be hungry, as I have strayed from the original thought of this article and began to write about food!

                Anyway, I was thinking about a way to wash the Tres without too much effort. Maybe I should start a Dog Wash, like a car wash. No I am not saying you take your dog to the Dog Wash, where they tie him onto a chain, which drags him through the automatic Dog Wash. That would be inhumane, and would definitely scare the dog! You come up with some silly ideas.

                I was looking at the Dog Wash in a slightly differed and much more humane way! Try to imagine, I placed Tres in the back of my pickup, securely tied him in, I don’t want him jumping out while I am driving. I then drove to the local car wash.

                The local car wash has sprayers that will apply just water to get him wet, then it will apply soap to get him clean and then you can rinse him with clear water in the end. Plus the spray can be hard enough to get the dirt off without putting your hands on the dog.

                Here is another good part to the idea, I did not need to dry the Tres with a towel! When I drove home with the Tres in the back of the pickup the air passing over and around him dried him off.

                Arriving at home I had a clean and dry dog!

                Why would any one look at me funny while I was washing my dog? I guess some people just don’t understand that we inventors must occasionally come up with new ideas.

                Do not try to steal this idea, as I have already submitted it to the patent office and copy right office!

 

            You don’t have a pickup to wash your dog in,

        Then move to Texas, pickups are required!

 

Don Ford

               

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