Acclimated maybe 12.31.17

                What a way to end the year! It was cold today, by Texas standards, with temps in the low 30s. My first wife and I went to brunch at the Cracker Barrow and we noticed that we were not the only people dressed like Eskimos. It was about 34 when we went to eat and that was the warm point of the day.

                It was reminiscent of the olden days when we first moved to Texas. That was a cold year, and we, being semi-northerners, thought everyone was crazy for wearing those big coats, while we wore sweaters. We have now acclimated to the Texas weather, and we now have the big coats too!

                I was watching the local weather on the TV when they said it was snowing. I brought up the security cameras ant it was snowing. My spouse of 48 years and I went outside to verify the snow. Tres stopped and looked for a minute before he went out into the snow. He then began licking the snow off the leaves in the yard.  Photos to follow.

                As the well trained eye can see, it was snowing at a tremendous rate, at least it was tremendous for Hewitt Texas, click to enlarge. One might ask if the snow was bad enough to cause the schools to be shut down. I can verify that the schools were shut down and will be shut down all week (it is Christmas break).

                I have also taken a photo of the snow that is deposited on the ground, just as a verification that is snowing, or did snow!

                We don’t get a lot of snow in Hewitt, so I called my son David and told him of the snow, so he could get the grand kids outside to see snow. They were eating supper and he said they would look after the evening meal.

                     

                As you can see, there was snow on the ground and snow on the side walk and porch. I don’t have a snow shovel, and I don’t think they sell them around here.

                That was New Year’s Eve in Hewitt Texas.

May it be your best year ever!

Don Ford

Earl and Oscar 05.21.14

 

            A true story by, Don Ford.

 

It was spring time, the cold winter weather was over and the flowers were blooming. The leaves on the trees were green and shined in the morning sun.

It was a quite morning in the neighborhood, the warm sun was shining, and there were a few fluffy white clouds floating in the sky.

I was sitting in my rocking chair on our front porch, enjoying the morning sun. Our cat Molly, was being her usual curious self, investigating everything that moved and some that did not. Molly is a young cat and her color is gray.

She was especially interested in the birds as they flew in and out of our yard. Molly enjoys chasing birds and making them fly. She often wondered why, the birds will not stay and play with her.

            As I sat relaxing on the porch, I saw something move in the shrubs across the street in the neighbor’s yard. It was, “a black and white cat named Oscar”. Oscar lived in the house across the street.

Oscar was a big cat, he was a little bit lazy, and he was kind of fat with long hair. He was mostly black but his belly was white. Oscar had a white tip on the end of his black tail. He enjoyed playing with other cats in the neighborhood.

Oscar has a friend named Earl. Earl lived in the house next door to Oscar. Earl was orange and white cat and he also loved to play.  

 

Oscar who was hiding in the shrubs all of a sudden ran across the yard and stopped by a tree. Oscar was standing very still almost like a statue and that is when I saw Earl ran to the shrubs where Oscar had been and stop. Both cats stayed very still, like statues. 

            All of a sudden Oscar ran from the tree and hid in some flowers, while at the same time Earl ran to the tree where Oscar had been. Both cats stood very still as they watched each other.

            Without warning Oscar ran to the other tree in the yard and at the same time Earl ran to the flowers. Again both cats watched each other without moving. 

            It seemed odd at first that both cats would run and then stop at the same time. Perhaps they were playing a game of, “follow the leader”. When Oscar would run, Earl would follow and when Oscar stopped, Earl would stop.

            This running and stopping continued until Molly started to cross the street.

Oscar and Earl saw Molly at the curb and both called out to Molly to stop. They asked her to be safe and look both ways before crossing the street.

Molly looked up and down the street, there were no cars coming so she walked across the street.

Molly, Earl and Oscar played, “follow the leader” until the lady who lived in the house where Oscar lives, opened the door and called, “here kitty kitty”. It was lunch time and Oscar said goodbye to Molly and Earl, because he had to go in for lunch.

Earl reminded Molly to look both ways before she crossed the street. Molly thanked Earl for the reminder, and she did look both ways before crossing the street. 

Earl went to his home and Molly came her home for lunch and a nap. 

 

                        The End

Did you Know 12.30.17

                Everyone knows tomorrow is New Year’s Eve, so no, that isn’t what I wanted to know if you knew. 

            What I wanted to know if you knew, “That you could save money and still be safe if you were to return to the olden days”. You should now ask, “How can I save money while returning to the olden days and still be very safe”.

            Thanks for asking. I will attempt to explain this in steps, you know, so that one person, you know the one, he is a little slow, (maybe that’s the author) can understand.

            First, how do we save money; cancel your cell phone account!

            Second, how do you return to the olden days, same as save money, get rid of the cell phone!

            Third, how do you stay safe, keep the old cell phone charged and carry it with you!

            Federal law requires that cell phones, must be able to call 911 at all times. As long as an old cell phone is functional, it can be used as an emergency phone.

            Having an old cell phone in your pocket, enables you, if there is an emergency, to make a call to the police.

            Really, do you need a cell phone? Unless it is for work, you don’t really need to communicate while you are walking, driving, shopping, eating, sitting on the throne (throne means toilet) and so on.

You are welcome!

Don Ford

Don't Do it! 12.28.17

Don’t Do it!         12.28.17

Don’t do what? Don’t drink and drive!

How would you like to lose your job?

How would you like to give away $20,000.00 or more to the courts?

How would you like to spend a night or two in jail?

               

Please consider all the bad things that could happen to you, your family or people you might run into!       If you drink don’t drive!

If you are going to celebrate the New Year by partying, do it at home!

Don’t let your friends drive if they have been drinking!

                                                                                                    

Have a designated driver!            If you drink don’t drive!

If you are going to party, plan to take a cab, to and from the party, leave your car at home!  If you drink don’t drive!

Let’s say you go to a party and you only have 2 or 3 drinks. You are not drunk, so you get into your vehicle and start for home. You pull up to a stop sign, but you don’t come to a complete stop, which is not unusual since there were no other vehicles in sight, or you are driving a couple miles per hour over the speed limit, or someone in your vehicle don’t have a seat belt on! A cop stops you and determines you have been drinking.

                You have been had!           If you drink don’t drive!

                Lose your job because you have had something to drink, that’s dumb!

Second time 12.27.17

                I guess you could say this was just being lucky, but I have the feeling it had nothing to do with luck. This story began on Christmas day when I received my gift card to the Star of coffee shops. I don’t want to include their real name as I have not been paid to advertise for them.

                I do like their coffee and the occasional breakfast sandwich, but only when someone gives me a gift card, as I do not like to spend my money, at the coffee shop. I took my Christmas gift card and headed for a cup of coffee. As usual there were about 7 cars in front of me. It took several minutes to get up to the speaker so I could place my order, and then a few more minutes to get up to the window to pay.

                I should have noted that the Tres was in the back seat with his head stuck out the window. It was my turn and I pulled up to the window. A young lady came to the window and said, “It is cold working this window”. It was about that time that Tres said hello, with one of his barks that sounds like a 4 years old attack Sheppard. The young lady almost dropped my coffee. I explained that he was not mean, I could tell she did not believe me.

                I tried to hand her my gift card and she said the car in front of you paid for your coffee. Surprised, I look toward the car but I could not see the driver. Coffee in hand I left the drive thinking that it was a nice thing to happen, and the second time I have had someone pay for my coffee.

                I then thought, it was probably a lady who had seen this hansom gentlemen in the vehicle behind her, and she wanted to flirt with me, by paying for my coffee. Then I thought, what if it was a man who wanted to flirt with me? I then decided it did not make any difference, I got my coffee free!

I hope someone pays it forward for you, too!

 

Don Ford

Hearing is believing and easy 12.26.17

          I am fairly sure that you already knew this, but for that one person who didn’t know, I will attempt to inform said person (my one non-reader). Now that I think of it, if that person don’t read, how will said person get this message?

          If you are using a computer to see my blog posts, you have the option to have the computer read aloud to you.  You may choose the voice that reads to you, and you may choose the speed of the reading voice.    

         

                   Here is how to do it.

          When you have the blog displayed, right click and a box will open. In the box there are the following choices.

                                                    Select all

                                                       Print

                                                   Read aloud

                                                  View Source

                                                Inspect element

          Click on Read Aloud and it will read for you. In the upper right hand corner, you can make changes such as, “Male or female voice, speed of reading, pause and stop”!

          It will start reading shortly after you click on read aloud. If you want to read a previous posting, you should pause the reading voice, highlight the text you want to have read then click on the resume button, you should then hear the highlighted text being read.

          I have just learned that you can minimize the posting and continue to hear the reading of the posting, as long as you do not click out of the posting. In other words you can listen to the reading and do other work like check your email, type in word, etc.  That means you could listen to a long story, while doing something else.

          Try it you might like it.

          If you don’t like it tell someone else, I am busy!

          Thanks

            Don Ford

I got nothing 12.25.17

                Would you believe I got nothing for Christmas? I know, you would believe I got a lump of coal, you are just that kind of person, believe the worst about me. That hurts, see the tear!

                Christmas is over, we have plenty of left overs. That is not a play on words, it is just the truth. The food was excellent, family was together, and friends came over later, all in all, a good day. I did have to wash dishes a couple times but many of the dishes were placed in the dish washer so it wasn’t too bad!

                I got many things for Christmas and they were all very nice! What a great Christmas!

                We hope your Christmas was outstanding and safe.

 

May your days be blessed!

 

Don Ford

There was no email about this posting, I did not want to be a bother! 

Christmas Eve 12.24.17

                It is Christmas Eve and I need to go shopping. Yes, you are correct, I am a male and I totally dislike shopping for anything that can’t be found at a hardware store. I also totally dislike, (have you noticed how I am not using the word, “Hate”) shopping where there is a crowd. Today I must venture to Wally World to get a couple batteries. We now have a Wally World in the great city of Hewitt, and it is usually not as busy as the more well established Wally Worlds!

                Yesterday, the Ford’s German Sheppard decided to harass, I mean visit the neighbor lady and her grandchild, who were walking down the street. David and I were getting the Ford’s old generator from the Ford’s old shed, which means the gate to the Ford’s backyard was open. Tres ran out to visit and as usual he was excited to have someone to pester, so he was jumping and running around them, in circles. If it would have been just adults, I would not have been concerned, but when kids are present and Tres is excited, they could easily be hurt if he jumped on them. He is big and don’t know how rough he is when he is excited.

                I went for the shock collar, we have only shocked him one time but the collar also will make a noise and he will stop what he is doing when the sound is projected. The collar was dead. Later in the day I replaced the batteries but they were old and would not activate the sound or shock.

                Now you know why I need batteries and why I must go to Wally World.  

                I arrived at the Wally World at 9:00am, the parking lot was not full and there were open spaces to park near the door. I parked and proceeded into the building. I assumed the batteries I was looking for would be near the jewelry counter, as these type batteries are often found in watches.

                These batteries, two each per pack, cost $4.39 per pack. That is equal to 2.5 hours of can retrieval by my spouse, I hate to have her work over time, but we need the batteries, and she has the abilities.

                I installed the batteries in the collar, and it now works as expected. Tres will not be happy with the idea, but the collar will be needed later today when the family arrive.

Shock not, lest ye be shocked!

Don Ford

this was posted without an email notification. 

The Itch 12.24.17

                Well, I see that one of the many followers of my posts, has already made up his mind as to what the title of this soon to be published article, means. Ha ha, you are wrong! It isn’t about, “The seven year itch”! You should learn to read, enjoy and not presume you know what is coming. This posting has nothing to do with the seven year itch, although, we could write about it in a future article.

                I have personally commented on this subject many times in the past, and so have others here at The Ford Homestead Institute for the Prevention of Itch Disorders. Some of those who have commented on the Itch subject, other than my dog Tres who has the itch most of the time are, Rev. Ford, Our Grounds Manager, our Maintenance Supervisor, our Lead Inventor of Trinkets and many others, too numerous to name.

                In a recent 5 year study, here at the Institute for the Prevention of Itch Disorders, with six hundred and 12 participants, we learned the truth about the itch! The itch we were studying is, “The itch that occurs when your hands are covered in something like grease, soap, paint or other substance that you would not want to rub on your face, eyes, ears or other parts of your body”.

                We had initially believed there was a mental disorder that cause this Itch to occur, (you may believe the writer of this article has a mental disorder) but have now learned there is no disorder involved. The following is a summary of our findings, (can you believe your government funded this study to the tune of 2.8 million dollars).

Summary:

                The Human body has itches many times daily.

                The human only notices said itches when they can’t easily scratch the itch.

                It has been determined, there is no itch disorder!

 

If you would like a detailed print out of the entire study send $125.00 to the Ford Homestead Institute for the Prevention of Itch Disorders study, allow 9 years for delivery. 

                               

Today is Dec 24^th, I have posted this article with out and email to the readers, as I do not want to bother anyone during the holidays!

 

Got the itch?

General Info 12.22.17

                Info about this posting was not sent via email.

                If you have not finished yet, you are almost out of time. Christmas presents, what did you think I was writing about!

                This morning, as I waited for the Gabi, I saw a squirrel nest in the neighbor’s tree that kind of had a star shape. No it wasn’t a perfect star shape, but it caught my attention. I took a photo of the nest, could it be a symbol of, “Christmas”?  Yes I am observant! Also, the photo is not taken in black and gray, the lighting and cloudy sky make it black and gray! The black and gray comment, has nothing to do with a previous post!

                                               

I sit here with the TV on, I am not watching it, but I do hear it as a back ground noise. It is the news channel and I get sick and tired of the same CRAP over and over. I wonder how those people who work as so-called news reporters, feel about saying the same thing, hour after hour, and day after day.

                                             

                  

In the above photo we see the Grinch. No other information is available on the subject!

                The below photo was taken a couple days ago, as once again I was waiting on the Gabi. The photo does not show the brightness of the glow from the sun that I could see, as it was rising over the corner of the house. You should not look in the mirror to try and see what was in the back yard.

                                           

                Well that is it from your author for now, may you have an outstanding day!

Consider the true meaning of Christmas!

Don Ford

The observer 12.20.17

                I, “The Observer”, am always observing. It is not something that can be easily taught, it is something that for me, comes from a learning disorder. I learn easily from seeing and hearing, I have a real problem learning from reading. 

                Is my life kind of a, “Contradiction”? I am not an avid reader, I don’t easily learn from reading, but I enjoy writing these postings, and the occasional story.

               

                Today, as I sat in the Ford’s old recliner, with a cup of coffee in hand, the TV was on, and there was a commercial. I looked at the local car commercial when I noticed, the sales man had a microphone in his hand, with it up to his mouth, as he made his pitch. That struck me as odd, then I noticed the wire from the mike, went to the ground but was not connected to anything.

                Why did he have a mike that was not connected, it wasn’t doing anything? I then observed the reason! This so-called sales person, when he finished his auditory, he turned to walk away and he, “Dropped the mike”. Can we say dumb commercials? The entire commercial was based on dropping the mike.

 

                My spouse of 48 years and I were observing a TV movie, “A Christmas Carol”, the other night. I like the movie but I have a tendency to notice things. It was supposed to be very cold, Scrooge had a folder in his hand as he unlocked the front door to his home. He stepped inside, lay the folder on a small table, turned and walked into the house leaving the front door open. I noted the door was left open, my spouse don’t enjoy my factual comments.

                Possibly my observation powers is why I see things like the birds in the very top of the trees trying to get some of the last heat from the sun as it goes down. Maybe it is why I see and hear things that most people don’t, or don’t care to hear or see. 

 

Observe, Listen and learn!

 

Don Ford      

Mistletoe 12.19.17

                                               

                I have seen this little dead tree, standing alongside the road for the last couple months. I decided to get a photo and point out the mistletoe in the tree. Mistletoe is a parasitic plant that literally kills trees. As you can see, this little tree never had a chance.

                Who came up with kissing under a parasite? Maybe, just maybe, when people lip lock, it is an attempt to copy the parasitic plants sucking the life out of a tree.

                We here at the Homestead would like to suggest the use of spinach instead of mistletoe. If you don’t get to kiss under the spinach, you can still eat it!

No parasite in your house, use spinach! 

 

Don Ford

The photo was taken in the rain and on a foggy day, sorry!

Odd Looks 12.18.17

                The other day I received some odd looks from people I don’t know. It is not unusual for me to get odd looks or should I say, “The Look”, from Gabi, Alex or my present spouse. They have a tendency to give me “The Look”, when I make a statement about anything. 

                There were people who were giving me the odd look, as I washed, our so called dog, “Tres”. Why would anyone even care that you are washing your dog, all you are doing is trying to make him smell better.

                There was one woman who almost had a wreck as she was driving by and watching me wash the Tres! Now that I think of it, she was probably ogling my back side, thinking how nice it looked. I do have a cute…, well let’s not get started talking about my back side right now! 

                Tres needed a wash job and my spouse of 48 years was not available to help me. It is usually a two person job as one person holds Tres, and the other applies the soap and water. I knew he needed a bath as the dog smell was, shall we say, “Over powering”.

                I had thought about how I could effectively wash said dog with minimal effort. The Ford Homestead Dog Handler, also known as, The Grounds Manager, was still on vacation. So, I would have to do all the dog washing myself, or hire someone to wash him.

                I loaded said dog in the Fords Chevy and went to the local dog groomer to get an estimate on a wash job. You wouldn’t believe what this person bid, just to wash the Tres! My spouse would have to pick up aluminum cans along the heavily traveled highways, all through the Christmas holidays, just to compensate the dog washer for one wash job!

                I would not feel right, having my present spouse out on those unsafe roads, in the evening hours looking for aluminum cans, while I was home enjoying a Christmas movie. That just would not be right!

                Speaking of the unsafe highways, I found two freshly killed possums on the road the other day. They were kind of fat and had not been ran over too many times. I brought them home, skinned and gutted them, and hung them in the shed. There is nothing better than aged possum in a soup with vegetables (let them hang in the shed for 14 days, it will tenderize them).

                I also found some wild onions for the soup, and if you go behind the grocery store about 10:00pm, you will usually find vegetables that they have tossed out. We are going to have a nice Christmas Possum and vegetable soup on Christmas day!

                It seems as if I may be hungry, as I have strayed from the original thought of this article and began to write about food!

                Anyway, I was thinking about a way to wash the Tres without too much effort. Maybe I should start a Dog Wash, like a car wash. No I am not saying you take your dog to the Dog Wash, where they tie him onto a chain, which drags him through the automatic Dog Wash. That would be inhumane, and would definitely scare the dog! You come up with some silly ideas.

                I was looking at the Dog Wash in a slightly differed and much more humane way! Try to imagine, I placed Tres in the back of my pickup, securely tied him in, I don’t want him jumping out while I am driving. I then drove to the local car wash.

                The local car wash has sprayers that will apply just water to get him wet, then it will apply soap to get him clean and then you can rinse him with clear water in the end. Plus the spray can be hard enough to get the dirt off without putting your hands on the dog.

                Here is another good part to the idea, I did not need to dry the Tres with a towel! When I drove home with the Tres in the back of the pickup the air passing over and around him dried him off.

                Arriving at home I had a clean and dry dog!

                Why would any one look at me funny while I was washing my dog? I guess some people just don’t understand that we inventors must occasionally come up with new ideas.

                Do not try to steal this idea, as I have already submitted it to the patent office and copy right office!

 

            You don’t have a pickup to wash your dog in,

        Then move to Texas, pickups are required!

 

Don Ford

               

Enough room 12.15.17

                This morning as I headed into the Ford Homestead’s old small office area, I was faced with the fact that my little office area was being taken over. I think Tres has taken the Homestead Act a little too far. He seems to think that he can homestead my office desk. I believe the Homestead Act only applies to Humans, not canines. Why would Tres think he could take over? He better remember who feeds him!  

                The photo is not good quality, as it was taken with the fords old android cellphone. I plan to evict him from his attempt to take over!

May your pets be allies, not aggressors!

Don Ford

Did you Notice 12.14.17

                You would think that they would notice, even though it was only a slight change. The slight change occurred after 46 years and yet no one noticed. Wouldn’t you think something that had been there for all those years and then it was gone, someone would have noticed? As I sit here putting this soon to be well written article together, I can hear a bird or birds chirping outside the Homestead. I wonder what they have to be so vocal about, it is near freezing outside.

                Possibly they have found something good to eat or maybe they are just happy that the hawk is not flying around this morning. Whatever the reason, they are making a lot of noise.

                I woke up this morning with an ache in my left hip joint. Maybe I slept on that side too much, or maybe it is due to carrying my billfold in my left back pocket for 112 years. Well it seems like that many years. I have tried of late, to not have the billfold in that same pocket, but do you know how hard it is to break the habitual use of a pocket? If you are a female with a purse, you can skip the next paragraph. 

                I placed my billfold in my right back pocket and headed out. I stopped at the bank to get a couple dollars from the ATM.                 Habitually I reached for my left back pocket to procure my billfold. Finding nothing there, I then searched my memory to see if I had in deed brought the billfold with me. I then remembered, it was indeed in my right pocket, which proved to be the wrong pocket. I could not get the billfold out of my pocket without undoing the seat belt first. After withdrawing my three dollars allowance from the ATM, I started to replace the billfold in my left back pocket. Memory kicked in, and I changed the attempt to place said billfold in my right back pocket. It would not go. I gave up and place the billfold in the center console, reattached the seat belt and unhappily drove away. Old habits are hard to break.

                Also, there was a receipt from the previous ATM user. It showed $500.00 withdrawn and $9.73 left in the account. Someone was getting ready for Christmas.

Change the topic:

                Over the last few weeks I had given some consideration to removing my mustache which had been on my face for 46 years. Most people had never seen me without a mustache. I have been of the opinion that having to trim it was more trouble that it was worth.

                While at home alone on Friday Dec. 8^th, with nothing better to do, I decided to remove the hair from under my nose. It feels odd. Breathing through my nose I can feel the air pass over my upper lip. Any time I touch my upper lip it feels so odd. I took a photo and I do look different. I thought everyone would notice immediately and comment on said hair removal.

                On December 9^th, 2017 I posted a photo of me, “Santa Ford”, the posting was titled, “Bah Humbug”. To this date (12/14/17) I have not received a comment about the handsome man, with the Santa hat, and no mustache! I must assume that my readers are not observant, or more hurtful, they are not reading my posts!

                My first encounter with a human was with Alex when I picked him up at school. He did not notice.

                My second encounter was with my son David as we sat outside and talked while Alex road his scooter up and down the driveway. We sat there and talked for about 20 minutes and he did not notice.

                My third encounter was with my spouse of 48 years, if anyone would notice, she should. She did not notice. I asked my spouse of 48 years if she wanted to go out to supper, to which her response was, yes! We went to Georges, a local favorite of many. We enjoyed the food but not the noise of all the people who seem to be having a good time. The young waitress came to our table with the bill and I told her, “Give the bill to that other table, we are old and we don’t have any money”. She responded, “Old people have plenty of money, it is the young people who don’t have money”! We received the bill.

                Toward the end of supper I popped the question, “did you notice I have shaved my mustache off”? My spouse of 48 years response was, “No”. She then went on the say, “It was all gray anyway”!

                Four days after the hair removal, and the first time our daughter-in-law Claire and I had talked since the event she said, “You shaved”. I said, you are the first to notice! She is, observant and aware of her surroundings!

                Seven days later and the first time Glen and I had talked since the event, he quickly noticed that I had removed the mustache. I told him he was the second to notice. He is, observant and aware of his surroundings!

                I have developed a hypothesis which goes like this. “Most people, young and old alike, do not see senior citizens!” If you do not agree with my hypothesis, consider the following. Two people walk into a room, one is young, good looking, well dressed or, oddly dressed, the other person a senior, dress like seniors dress, you momentarily glance at the two then you give a closer look at the young person. Whether you are male or female that hypothesis applies.

                No one noticed. How hurtful that a wonderful senior retired person, is no longer seen!

                                                                

click to enlarge

Be observant, it is good for others!

Don Ford