Listening with your eyes 103 by Don Ford

            In this lesson we will briefly discuss Body language. 

            Parents have used it, without putting a name to it, for years.

Body language is especially helpful if you interview applicants, if you are a police officer, and lawyers use it all the time.

            You can also use body language to influence others. 

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There are several books on body language. You will need to study one or more and then practice to become proficient. You can use body language to know if someone is upset, lying, in disagreement, etc.  You may also be able to communicate more effectively when, “you”, use body language.

           

            Three quick examples, and there are many more;

Uno, Mom noticed that the top is off the cookie jar. Mom ask the child, “Did you get a cookie”? The child will not make eye contact with Mom, and most likely looks down saying, “no”. Mom instinctively knows, by their child’s body language, that they are not being truthful.

                             

Dos, let’s say one is in a meeting with their manager. The manager is sitting across the table presenting a new process.

If one is leaning back in their chair during the presentation, they are indicating that they are not interested, or rejecting the idea.

If one moves their chair away from the table, looks at the ceiling, may smile; this would indicate disagreement.

If one leans forward with good eye contact, this indicates interest and possible acceptance of what is being presented. 

            Tres, let’s consider a person making a presentation to a group. Body language of those in the group should tell the presenter whether he / she has the attention of the group, and whether they are in agreement.

Also, the lecturer’s body language during the presentation will influence the audience’s attention level. Is the speaker reading word for word from notes or, is he / she making the presentation from the information that he / she has learned. Is the presenter holding on to the podium as if he / she were afraid or, moving around with an assertive posture (body language)?  

We have all used body language all of our lives, even though we may not have thought of it as a language.

Body language could help when interviewing applicants, investigating accidents and incidents, presentations and meetings, and general conversations. It can help to determine honest forthright responses. 

It can help in our dealing with staff in several ways.

First, we might be more apt to identify the truth or untruths. 

Second, we may be able to get our points across, and have others better receive our message, by using the correct body language.

Third, we might be able to defuse a potentially aggressive or hostile situation by observing and presenting proper body language.

Forth, and possibly the most important is, by observing a person’s body language and listening to what is being said, we will be focusing on the person more during a conversation. This can lead to better communications.

Remember this; anyone can learn to use body language, a person who understands body language might use it to influence (fool) you.

Body Language is something we have known all our life, but may not have seen in print or even thought about.  Body language can be a helpful tool, but do not assume it is always correct or that you can correctly use it all the time. 

Get a book on body language, read it several times. You should find it very interesting, and when you use the information, it will improve communications both ways. 

Discussion?

Thank You