Christmas Party 12.20.16

            The annual Christmas party was held this past Saturday evening. It was good seeing some old friends and there were many new faces at the party.

            This annual party was held on the coldest evening up to that date, for this year (it got down to 20 degrees overnight). The wind was 30 mph gusting to 45 mph. Even though it was very cold, I must say the party was very nice, there was good food and gifts given.

            Last year: My spouse of 47.5 years and I attended the DIB Christmas party and I won one of the many gifts that were given. I believe I won a heater, and another winner wanted to trade his gift for mine. Being a generous person, and not needing the heater, I accepted the trade. I ended up with a very nice chain saw! Winner! J

            In past years, although it may not have been required, as a manager, I would not enter any of the giveaways.  I believed it would not have looked good if the manager won, so I did not enter. Now that I am retired, I enter these contests and I have been very lucky and have won several times.

            This year I did not win a heater, but I did win, and I was very surprised at the gift. If you haven’t guessed what I won, I suggest you re-read the above.

Waiting… waiting… waiting… waiting… waiting…   Or continue reading below.

            Some would say that winning a gift at a company party is just luck and not a blessing. I see winning as one of many continuing blessings in life. 

            I was blessed with great parents, brothers and sisters.

            I am now blessed with a great wife and family.

            We are blessed with many friends.

            My life hasn’t been perfect, but it has for the most part  

            been very good, due to many blessings.

            It is better to give than to receive, but receiving is pretty good too.

            Below is a photo of what I won this year. It is the same type item I traded for last year.

 

            Why is the saw sitting on the old nerd’s desk? It is there because it is too cold to be outside! I told you it is cold here, don’t you listen!

May you be blessed and a winner!
                    

Don Ford

Ladies will not 12.19.16

            You are correct, the title does not explain what this soon to be well written article is about. Allow me to explain. The full title is, “Ladies will not leave me alone”! Before that one person asks, there is photo evidence, and my present spouse knows of the title and has seen the photo evidence.

            I was surprised when my present spouse did not seem overly upset at the amorous advancements of the ladies. I would have thought, the fact that there was more than one, should have enraged my first spouse, but, it didn’t! Actually several of these advancements, and by advancements I mean physical touching, occurred in the presence of my spouse.

            When I was young and a lady put a finger, or something else in my ear, I actually enjoyed it. I guess you could say in the olden days, “it was a turn on”.

            I wonder if I am too old to enjoy advancements from the ladies. If that is the situation, why should I even get up in the morning?

            Now that I am thinking of it, when I get my hair cut by female barber’s hair stylists (they aren’t stylists when they cut my hair, there is no styling going on, just cutting), there is no excitement, no turn on from their hands being all over my head. I must be, “over the hill”, and that is why the advancements of the ladies was more annoying, than enjoyable. Also that is why my present spouse wasn’t concerned as the Ladies swarmed around me.

            What? OK, I will answer one question, if you will stop interrupting me. The question is, when did this assault occur? Yes, I felt as if it were an assault! There I said it, an assault, and my first spouse thought it was funny. This all took place on Saturday afternoon. It was 78 degrees, the sun was shining and I was sitting in the Ford’s old rocker near the garage door. Everything seemed to be just perfect prior to the Yankee weather that was approaching (Yankee defined as unbearably cold weather).

            It is difficult for Texans, even us Naturalized Texans, to believe that the temp can drop 40 degrees in less than four hours and 58 degrees in 12 hours.

            Texans don’t have all those nice warm coats that the northern folks do. Why did this happen to us? One must believe the fact that, “The State of Texas has allowed the immigration of non-conservatives (aka Liberals) into the state”, is what caused Mother Nature to turn against us. Why couldn’t the cold air somehow have settled only on Austin, and left the good conservative people alone?

            Wow, I got off the subject. Let’s see, if I can focus and get to the point.

            My question is why they would not leave me alone! It may be due to me being such a sweet guy, possibly I smelled good. I am a warm hearted person, possibly that shown through and attracted the ladies. Possibly they were just wanting to bother a senior person who was minding his own business, or possibly my first spouse had something to do with the assault.

            Regardless of the reason, they were there. One flew into my ear, several went down the neck of my shirt and I even got one in the mouth. Lady bugs are everywhere this year. I will attach a photo, do you see the lady bug?

 

            If you don’t see the lady bug look closely at my glasses. If you are observant you may see my first spouse in a reflection of the sun glasses. (Click on the photo to enlarge)

Six days until Christmas!

Don Ford

In and Out 12.16.16

            One could easily have titled this posting, “A well trained Human”.

            Most mornings, I venture into what was my office area when I was not on a fixed income, now known as the computer room, where I turn on the TV along with the computer. Most often I tune the TV to the outside cameras, as I am so tired of hearing about the president elect. I was tired of hearing about the election prior to the election and now I am tired of hearing about it after. Please understand, I am happy with the outcome of the election, but I am just tired of hearing about it or the participants.

            The above statement is an introduction to the morning world of, “Preacher Ford”. Notice I did not say minister or reverend but, “Preacher Ford”. I do not usually minister to others, but I do have a tendency to preach at times. Possibly due to an upbringing in a Pentecostal Church, where, in my opinion, they had mostly preachers and few ministers.

            Wow, I have somehow gotten off the subject! The subject is not Preaching or Church although it possibly should be!

            The subject is the training I have gone through, and the computer room where I sit in solitude, developing these magnificent one of a kind messages for the masses! Each morning as I ponder various ideas in hopes that one will inspire you, or even me, to do something positive, there interruptions which take away from my constipation I mean concentration.

            These distractions are caused by the Ford’s cats. It should be known that both Molly and Charlie have taught me to open the door for them. There is a door to my left which leads into the Ford’s garage. Each morning the cats go outside for a walk. They check their territories to be sure there are no smells from outside cats, entering their territory!

            Charlie and Molly have taught me to open the door for them, and at times they abuse the privilege. These two cats have different ways of telling me to open the door, one scratches on the door while the other meows. I drop what I am doing and open the door. This happens multiple times each morning. Yes, I am a well-trained human! 

            Different subject:

            When was the last time you saw a half dollar? Unless you are a collector, I would say it has been a long time. You can look it up and learn what I already know!

            2 bits, 4 bits, 6 bits a dollar, the word bits used with a number probably has no meaning to most people.

            Different subject:

            For that person who questioned the senior nerd, I have one more photo, seen below.             Ask not lest ye receive!

You can click on the photo to make it larger. Yes there is a napkin on the desk, which is where the coffee cup sits. Occasionally I have a snack and my first wife strongly suggests that I eat at my desk! Yes there is a microphone in the photo, do you have to see everything? Did you see the band aid?

Have a great day, and weekend!

Don Ford

Christmas photos 12.15.16

            Three wonderful photos are shown below. One is of a handsome retired person whose Christmas tie, is almost as old as him.

 

            A new Christmas tie would be nice but those of us on fixed incomes can’t be purchasing non-essential items! This good looking gentlemen was attempting to pull in his mid-section but it didn’t work.

            Below is a photo of one of the many Ford’s Christmas cactus or is it cacti. When looking at one, it is cactus, but when looking at more than one it is Cacti. (That was an educational note)

 

            In the following photo we see an interesting Christmas decoration on a senior nerd’s desk. How do we know the lamp is on a nerd’s desk, there are wires and a monitor in the background? I guess that wonderful image of a leg on a nerd’s desk, may be his way of remembering the olden days! 

 

            On a different subject, I will explain how a name came into being.

Noel, is defined as, “a Christmas carol”, but did you know the word Noel was created by a fellow, many years ago, after writing a song for Christmas. This fellow wanted to be remembered, so he wrote his name backwards to get the word Noel.

            For that person that has not been able to follow the above statement, Leon, written backwards, is Noel, now do you get it?  Why do I even try to educate the public?

            Yep, Christmas is all around us!

It’s ok to say, “Merry Christmas”!

Don Ford

Distracted driving 12.14.16

            We have all heard stories about people doing odd things while driving. I once heard of a female subject who was able to put on pantie hose while driving. That seems to me to be distracted driving.

            This morning I was in the process of driving home from the local Whataburger, after collecting a couple morning breakfast sandwiches for my first spouse and me. I was in the process of turning from Hewitt Drive onto Laredo St. when I observed, a young looking female subject, driving a full size pickup. She was slowing as she approached the stop sign which made it possible for me to observe her actions. The female subject was putting this black stuff on her eye lashes that is supposed to make the eye lashes look thicker and longer (wife number one said it is call mascara). 

            A female applying makeup while driving, was she looking at herself in the mirror or was she watching the vehicle in front of her, as they both approached the stop sign.

            Later I went to the post office and as I was leaving the post office I observed a male subject, in a small pickup, who had his cell phone in hand and against his ear. He had slowed considerably attempting to make the turn from Hewitt Drive. He was trying to turn with one hand on the steering wheel and he came very close to the vehicle in front of me. He could not stop talking long enough to make a safe turn. And since he was going onto the post office parking lot why didn’t he just say wait a minute, let me park and we can safely talk?

If everyone was as perfect as me…

Don Ford

If you want to stop receiving emails about these posting send me a note, I don't want to be a bother. If you know someone that would want to receive them, have them send me a note and I will add them to the mail list.

            Thank You!

Habla Espanol? 12.13.16

                Speak Spanish? Just in case you do not know what the title line was.

                My first wife and I had ventured out on Sunday morning to indulge in a morning meal. The food and service was good. During our meal my present wife had noted that we would need to go to a certain grocery store on our way home. I accept orders from the Ford Homestead CEO!

            Without providing a name of the store, I will say, if you want to use one of their carts you need to put a quarter in a slot to disconnect the cart from the others. This is done in an effort to have the carts returned to the cart storage area, by the customer, which saves the store money by not having to pay someone to go collect the carts from around the parking lot. One does get their quarter, back when the reconnect the cart to the others.

            We arrived at the grocery store and my spouse of 47.5 years allowed me to stay in the Ford’s Chevy listening to Christmas music while she went inside and shopped. I observed several individuals get a cart from the storage area. Later as they left the store they all returned their carts and retrieved their quarter.

            I find it interesting that people will push the cart out to their car and then push the cart all the way back to the storage area for a quarter. A quarter in today’s world is worth about as much as a penny was, when I was a kid. As a children, (yes I know I wrote children, it got your attention didn’t it) I could buy a piece of Double Bubble gum for a penny. I wonder if one can get a piece of Double Bubble for a quarter now days, if so where?

            There was this one couple, male and female, who walked from the store pushing the cart to their vehicle. The items were unloaded from the cart and into the vehicle. The male pushed the cart back to the storage area. He had trouble reconnecting his cart to the others, and it appeared he had hurt his hand as he was shaking it as he marched back to the vehicle.

            The female subject seeing the male subject fail to retrieve the quarter, but not worrying about the hand injury, she exited the vehicle and started toward the cart storage area. There seemed to be no doubt that she could reconnect the chain and retrieve the quarter. She was about three quarters of the way to the area when she abruptly stopped. Her hand gestures and body language said, “Why am I doing this for a quarter”? She stopped, turned, and headed back to her vehicle, body language saying, “I don’t care about that darn quarter!” 

            Then my spouse exited the store pushing the cart to our vehicle. Once the items had been loaded into the back seat she returned the cart to the storage area.

            There was a heavy set man, possibly in his 60s that was attempting to speak to my wife. I noticed that she kind of gave him a look, and walked past him. I continued to observe. The fellow again spoke to my wife and this time she seemed to respond. Arriving back at the Ford’s Chevy, my first wife noted that the man had spoken to her in Spanish, when she didn’t respond, he asked if she spoke Spanish, he then spoke to her in English. He stated he liked our truck and wanted to know how much the Ford’s Chevy cost.

               

Two bits aint that much,

Leave the carts on the parking lot!

Don Ford

Christmas December 12, 2016

             

              I have not seen any stories about the birth of Jesus on TV for several years now.
              If you do not attend church regularly, you will likely not here or see any comments
              about this birth.

                Take time to consider the true meaning of Christmas!

                Focus on the people around you!

                Put down the smart phones, tablets and computers, and talk!

                Someone would like to hear your voice, rather than a text!

                If you can’t be with friends and family, call them!

                ____________________________________________________________

                I was listening to a friend and a comment caused me to want to add this statement.

                Consider the one who was born and lain in a manger. He lived, taught,
                and died for your forgiveness. You have been forgiven, you should be willing
                to forgive.

                Get past any disagreements, communicate with your family and friends!

                ____________________________________________________________________________

                Although gift giving is nice, let’s make Christmas more than just giving gifts!

       Merry Christmas!

          Don Ford

No warm Pajamas 12.09.16

            Here at the Ford Homestead of Hewitt, the terribly cold weather has brought an almost unsolvable situation to the forefront.

            As I sat in my old dilapidated recliner, attempting to watch a tube type TV, (for those who are younger, or at least want to be seen as younger, a tube type TV has tubes in it which make it work. These TVs are not flat screen, they are huge and have a real wood frame) with my first wife across the room in her recliner, we were discussing the chill in the air. My present spouse had worked all day at making candy for the Christmas season, and I must admit that she does a good job of Christmas candy and baked goods.

            My spouse of 47 years had noted that she was considering a hot shower and getting into her warm pajamas. Warm pajamas would be nice I replied, but being on a fixed income I can’t afford that type of luxury. My spouse seemed surprised that I did not have any warm pajamas. I have old pajamas but they are not warm and cozy.

            That is when I remembered, “I do have a union suit”. Now that might not be the proper name for long underwear. My long underwear is a one piece red garment some time referred to as Long Johns. I decided to beat the first wife to the shower, and I went to the closet to recover my union suit. FYI, there is a flap in the back! If you don’t know what the flap is for, I am not going to explain.

            While I was searching for the long underwear, I discovered my Santa’s hat. Since we are on a fixed income, the thought of purchasing a Santa suit to go along with the Santa hat is out of the question, as I could not ask my spouse to work overtime picking up the cans from alongside the highways. I can wear my union suit and Santa hat which would cause me to look a little like Santa.

            Once I had the long undies and my Santa hat on, my spouse suggested I should let her take a photo of me. As you know, I am a very modest person, I was somewhat hesitant to be photographed in my undies. My spouse of 47 years suggested that I have the perfect manly body, and the photo might go viral on the internet!

            Reluctantly, I gave in and allowed my first wife to take these risqué photos. I will post one of them, you can see my expression states that I was not enjoying being photographed.

            Hopefully you are not retired and living on a fixed income, and I hope you have at least one pair of warm and cozy pajamas. People on a fixed income must rely on old red long johns.

            This posting was not constructed in hopes that you would want to give me warm and cozy pajamas, as a Christmas present, but if it has influenced you to do so, that would be ok!

You might be blessed in ways you can’t imagine,

if you give to someone on a fixed income!

Don Ford                                     ^{(not everything your read is true)}