Here at the Ford Homestead of Hewitt, the terribly cold weather has brought an almost unsolvable situation to the forefront.
As I sat in my old dilapidated recliner, attempting to watch a tube type TV, (for those who are younger, or at least want to be seen as younger, a tube type TV has tubes in it which make it work. These TVs are not flat screen, they are huge and have a real wood frame) with my first wife across the room in her recliner, we were discussing the chill in the air. My present spouse had worked all day at making candy for the Christmas season, and I must admit that she does a good job of Christmas candy and baked goods.
My spouse of 47 years had noted that she was considering a hot shower and getting into her warm pajamas. Warm pajamas would be nice I replied, but being on a fixed income I can’t afford that type of luxury. My spouse seemed surprised that I did not have any warm pajamas. I have old pajamas but they are not warm and cozy.
That is when I remembered, “I do have a union suit”. Now that might not be the proper name for long underwear. My long underwear is a one piece red garment some time referred to as Long Johns. I decided to beat the first wife to the shower, and I went to the closet to recover my union suit. FYI, there is a flap in the back! If you don’t know what the flap is for, I am not going to explain.
While I was searching for the long underwear, I discovered my Santa’s hat. Since we are on a fixed income, the thought of purchasing a Santa suit to go along with the Santa hat is out of the question, as I could not ask my spouse to work overtime picking up the cans from alongside the highways. I can wear my union suit and Santa hat which would cause me to look a little like Santa.
Once I had the long undies and my Santa hat on, my spouse suggested I should let her take a photo of me. As you know, I am a very modest person, I was somewhat hesitant to be photographed in my undies. My spouse of 47 years suggested that I have the perfect manly body, and the photo might go viral on the internet!
Reluctantly, I gave in and allowed my first wife to take these risqué photos. I will post one of them, you can see my expression states that I was not enjoying being photographed.
Hopefully you are not retired and living on a fixed income, and I hope you have at least one pair of warm and cozy pajamas. People on a fixed income must rely on old red long johns.
This posting was not constructed in hopes that you would want to give me warm and cozy pajamas, as a Christmas present, but if it has influenced you to do so, that would be ok!
You might be blessed in ways you can’t imagine,
if you give to someone on a fixed income!
Don Ford (not everything your read is true)
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