As I set here with tears in my eyes, it is still difficult for me to believe an old friend would let me down and not seem to care! I still find it difficult to believe, someone I considered a friend and at times a confidant, would just turn his back on me, basically causing me to feel lost and alone!
Being forgotten by others when I was young, didn’t seem to be a big thing, the sadness didn’t last as long and was more or less expected by me, but being forgotten by a friend now, seems much worse as I get older.
I remember a time when I was probably 14 or 15 years old, a friend who had turned 16 and had just got his driver’s license, was supposed to come by my house and pick me up. We were going to the school bonfire, since “Jim” had his license, he was going to take me and a couple other friends.
I was ready and waiting on the front porch but no Jim. Time had passed and when he did not show up my dad offered to drive me there. I told dad that I was sure Jim was just late and he would give me a ride home after the bonfire.
There were many kids at the bonfire and as expected, it was a big fire. For some reason I did not see any of my friends there. The fire was over and everyone started to leave. I was alone and did not have a ride home, so I walked home. It wasn’t too far, maybe 20 city blocks or so, not a huge walk for me. The next day when I saw Jim I was not upset, he explained that something happened and he could not come.
The point to this story is to state, when I was young, disappointments were more or less a normal occurrence to me. They were just something that happened, I didn’t expect too much and I did not get too much. When I was young and a pet such as a dog or cat died, there was no sadness, you could always get another.
The above information has nothing to do with my sadness of today, it is just my way of saying the older I get the more I rely on, and the higher expectations I have of my, “So called friends”.
Sitting here at the keyboard, attempting to share my disappointment with the world, I was interrupted with a message that I have mail, email that is. The email is confirming that the last of the items I had ordered on line have shipped. We should receive all the online orders starting today and the last delivery should be here by Thursday the 16th. I don’t mind shopping on line as long as I know what I am looking for. Going to a store and shopping anytime, but especially during the Christmas season is not something I look forward to!
Before I get a question from, you know who, I will get back to my story of rejection and disappointment. If someone you are not friends with lets you down, it isn’t too bad, as we don’t usually have high expectations from those whom we are not close too.
This morning a few minutes before 5:00am I rolled over and looked at the clock. Good I thought, I have another 30 minutes to sleep. I repositioned my pillows and pulled the cover up around my neck making sure my entire body was warm and protected from the extreme cold in the master bed room.
Being on a fixed income we must keep the temperature inside the Ford Homestead very cool in an attempt to save on the heating bill.
Being comfortable and warm in the covers, I quickly fell back into a deep sleep. I don’t think I even moved for an hour or so. I was awoken by the clock in the main living room which strikes on the hour. Being somewhat groggy I was not able to count the strikes, so I had to reposition my body so I could see the clock next to my bed.
6:00am, what? It is 6:00am! I was late getting up!
No I don’t set an alarm clock, as I am normally awoken at 5:30 by, what use to be a friend! Charlie normally wakes me at 5:30 each morning, but today he did not.
Upset, I sat up on the edge of the bed. Where was Charlie? Was he ill?
I turned and surveyed the room, wondering what had happened to Charlie. Then I saw it, Charlie was peacefully sleeping on the roll top desk. He had not been injured, was not ill, just sleeping!
This event has hurt me to a point, that I may never have any expectations of friends again! Charlie had one job and that was to wake me at 5:30, he failed!
Sad and lonely I sit here, pouring my breaking heart out to the world, tears in my eyes, a box of tissues, mostly used, hoping this never happens to you!
May you still trust your friends!
Don Ford (If you don’t know, Charlie is our cat.)
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