Dryer than a popcorn… 05.12.14
Fred commented, “It sure is dry here in Texas”, to which Sue asked, “How dry is it?” Fred, thinking he is a funny and smart guy said, “It is dryer than a popcorn fart”.
It is believed that the proverbial comment, “Popcorn fart” is very dry. As we all know, popcorn is dry when we eat it but there is steam created during the popping process. The steam created during the popping process excited the curiosity of our senior professor here at, “The Ford Homestead Institute of Lower Learning”.
Professor Dumcough has conducted numerous studies into the dryness or lack thereof in the typical popcorn fart. Results from the studies will be published next month, in the “boxer shorts issue, of The Journal of Gaseous Omissions. It is rumored that the information may be used in the upcoming political campaigns.
Dr. Dumcough has determined, “there is no typical popcorn fart”. Also, humidity measurements of the fart as it is presented reveal from 37% to 79% humidity in these gaseous presentations.
Findings conclude that the word fart should be dropped. In the future it will be correct to say, “dryer than a popcorn”.
We hope this information will be helpful in any upcoming communications.
Speaking of how dry it is here in Texas, we received 2 inches of much needed rain this past Thursday. The ground and all plant life along with me, seemed to say thank you for the rain.
Saturday my wife of 45 years had me do some excavating in the back yard. She had decided on a location for the rose bush and I was instructed to dig the hole and plant the rose. The area where the rose was planted had water standing on it at least 4 inches deep Thursday evening.
Naturally I assume (ass/u/me) that I would be digging into mud. I was surprised to find that the dirt was moist and loose but did not stick to the shovel. There was no mud, it was perfect digging except for the one root.
The rose was professionally planted by me (a noted Rose-ologist) and I did add water to the new planting.
Later we were admiring the little garden spot, being amazed as we saw baby squash on the vine, the tomato plants are huge but no tomatoes yet, and even with the two inch rain the soil was dry and beginning to crack.
The prognostication for today is more rain this afternoon with possible amounts from 1.5 inch to as much a 4 inches. We need the rain but not the storms.
I hope you have a non-gaseous day.
Don Ford
No comments:
Post a Comment