Aliens are here

I know it will be hard for you to believe but they are here and I have proof.

               I am sitting in the drive way near the garage door attempting to put this article together.  What, you what to know if I am glad to be home.  Yes I am happy to be back in Texas even though we had a nice time except for the wreck.  It is a little warmer here than it was in NC and it is much drier.  They had about 4 inches of rain last Thursday but when I got home and everything is dry.  I have the sprinklers going now so that gives me a reason to be here in the drive way.

               I did mow the yard today and as usual the yard looks better than most of the neighbor’s yards.  I raised the deck on my mower again; it is now cutting the grass about 4 inches. I believe this help keep the water in the ground.

               Speaking of mowers I see that the neighbor across the street has a new “riding mower”. Bill works so he can afford the nicer things in life, but those of us on a fixed income we are required to walk behind a mower and get hot and sweaty. This new mower is big and he has one of those big plastic grass catchers on it.  It seems to mow good but it is kind of like trying to turn a tractor and trailer in the yard. 

I am planning on winning a new mower from Do it Best.  They are raising money for the united way and if you donate they give you a chance on a riding mower (I hope I can find some money).

               Donna is kind of stiff and sore all over from the wreck.  She has lots of bruises and she is not sure just how she got them all. We have been trying to take it easy today and we are not going to Dallas tomorrow.  Hopefully, Sunday will be a day of rest at the Ford House.

               Yes, our flights were all good; first class is much nicer that coach and they don’t charge you for checking a bag. The one bad part of the flights was a 3 hour layover in Dallas.

               I took 56 dollars with me (I forgot to go to the bank before we left) and I had 30 of it in my pocket when I came home.  Yes, am cheap but that isn’t why I had money left over, they just would not let me pay for anything, nice.

               What? You want to know what?

Oh, yes I did start off about aliens and I have the proof.  I was in the front yard picking up sticks and things before I started mowing this morning when I found two alien eggs.  I wanted to put my rubber gloves on before I picked them up. They are very scary looking and I know when they hatch they will probably go around killing people. I wanted to call the US Government to report these eggs but my wife (who doesn’t want her name mentioned) suggested that the Government people aren’t smart enough to know about the eggs.

               I thought about calling the history channel, they sometime do shows on aliens and they might want to put me on a TV show. That would be wild, me on the history channel explaining where I found these eggs. Heck I might even get on the today show. I just had a thought; after all that I would have to write a book.  I would still talk to all you little people, even though I would have the “big head”.

               Yes I took a photo, see below.

There, the two eggs are proof that alien exist.

What do you mean you don’t think they are?

Ok, if you are so smart tell me what you think they are.

From the alien mind of    Don Ford

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