Complain, who me?

            As difficult as it is for you to believe, there may be at least one person in this world that believes I have a tendency to complain.  I am not a complainer but I do speak candidly

               Today is Sunday and we did not go to Dallas to see the grand kids.  We did however decide to go for breakfast.  We most often eat at the cracker barrow for a couple reasons. 1. The food is always the same (not bad but the same thing all the time gets old).  2. They have a large parking lot. Today I told Donna that we could go for breakfast but not to the Cracker Barrow. I noted that we could go to I Hop or Denny’s.  As usual and one of the main reason we don’t go to the I Hop more often, there was no parking spaces.  We ended up at Denny’s which in my opinion is probably the worst place to eat in Waco. My opinion is not a registered complaint, merely my candid opinion.

               When I traveled there was a Denny’s that I would eat at and they actually had good food in Woodburn Oregon. The unusual thing about this Denny’s other that the fact they had good food was, this Denny’s also had a Bar.  You could latterly order an alcoholic drink with your food.  

               Today’s episode began with coffee that was not only strong but also old and burnt. Adding cream to the day old coffee made it almost palatable. The hash brown potatoes were at the best warm, the cheese on my omelet was not melted even though the omelet was close to being hot. My milk was not cold although it was cool. I picked up the bottom piece of toast to put jelly on it and it felt mushy so I put it down and my hand looked as if I had dipped it in cooking oil. Two napkins later I had the butter, lard or lubricant off my hand. 

               It is my opinion, and I don’t think I am complaining at all when I say the Denny’s at the Flying J Sucks.  I fully intend to never go there again and hope to influence others to avoid that establishment.

            Some of us are Rude to others while saying we are being Candid. Being rude for any reason is not a good idea.

 

From the non-complaining but yet Candid brain of                             Don Ford

 

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Hair Cut?

Why is it called a haircut when all or most of your hair is being cut?

               As you may now know I am retired and scarcely existing on social security. When one retires they must cut back on many things including personal grooming. I understand it is hard to believe that someone as well groomed as I am has had to cut back but it is true.

               I recently received a letter and booklet from Medicare telling me they will send another book in a few weeks to help me decide how to precede. This particular letter stated that the United States Government, (this is the same government that had taken money out on my pay check for years to pay for Medicare) will be taking more money out of my SS check when I turn 65. Talk about double dipping your government is doing that.

               I digress, personal grooming should be more important to seniors because let’s face it, we need it more. It is bad enough when one has to eat cat food, dog food and road kill but when you can’t afford to go to a barber shop to get your hair cut, that is just not right. Maybe I should just cut it all off and have my head shaved. I probably could not afford the razors it would take to keep it shaved. If I did shave my head my wife may have something to say about it.  

A friend of mine who was a manager of a business told his employees he would shave his head it they raised a certain amount for a charity. This friend didn’t have a lot of hair and he had a comb over. To make a short story longer the employees donated enough money and the manager had his head shaved. This fellow also had a mustache and chin wickers that were not just gray but white. After his head was shaved he colored the mustache and whiskers. This fellow looked 10 years younger and his wife noticed. As I understand it, he was told to let his comb over grow back and he stopped coloring the facial hair.

               Now that I can’t go to the barber shop my wife has to cut my hair. Do you remember when a barber shop was for men, there were male barbers and man did not go to hair dressers?  Those were the good old days. As a kid I remember the barber was always talking and telling stories, some of which a young boy should not have heard and often did not understand.

               A couple days ago I asked my wife to cut my hair. She begrudgingly said she would so I grabbed the clippers and went to the garage. Yep, she made me sit on a stool in the garage while she cut my hair. She positioned me near the overhead door with it open so all the neighbors could see. I am surprised that the neighbors haven’t taken up a collection for us now that they know I can’t afford to get a haircut at the stylist.  

               After the haircut and a shower I went outside in the front yard. I was standing on the curb on my side of the street and Glen was on the curb on the other side of the street. His second comment was, “it looks like you got a haircut”?  When a neighbor can tell you got a hair cut from across the street it must have been a good haircut.  I should have asked if I looked younger.

 

From the well groomed mind of Don Ford

 

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F-18 Hung out to dry

Did you hear about the recent F-18 that crashed into an apartment building? This note has nothing to do with that story. In all honesty this note may not be interesting and is not funny. Retired people that don't have anything to do other than sit around and try to find ways to annoy others. I do this by writing these notes and posting them. 

Below is my "F 18" hanging out to dry after a second coat of varnish. I have begun to call this my F-18 since I identify each piece with my initial "F" and a roman numeral. "F XVIII" = "F 18".  

In the photo below I have started #18, it will become a cane. Retired people living on social security need canes and walking sticks in order to get around (they are hard to carry on the motorcycle).  I have already removed the bark from the stick. The head or handle is a left over piece of wood from another project.

Below we see a close up of the head with a hole drilled into it and the stick has the end filed down to fit into the hole.  You are correct; it is bent in the middle much like some of us retired people.

Below we see the head and stick connected. I have decided to reduce the size of the head by a couple inches. It has been suggested that instead of donating to a charity you could just donate to retired people you know.

Below shows the head or handle after I have removed about two inches.

If I had a job and wasn't on social security I could afford a cane that wasn't bent and maybe store bought.

Gotta go now, I am heading to Star Bucks for a Coffee and Cookie.

What, you want to know if Star Bucks have a senior discount. I don't know if they have a discount for senior citizens but I am going any way.  

               Have a good day!

From the retired but not tired mind of       Don Ford

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Easter at “The Fords of Hewitt”

We Hope you had a nice Easter Weekend with family and friends.

Yes I know, Easter has come and gone for all of us.  I guess there wasn’t anything that distinguished this Easter from any other. Donna was working at making a big Easter meal as usual, and I should say it was an enormous success.  I may have eaten just a little more than I should and that may have been the reason for the afternoon nap.

               There was a discussion between the men about a tree house in the back yard (not for the men it would be for the kids). This discussion went from a few corner posts, a ladder and a floor in the tree to a full blown deck between two trees that would allow the kids to have a deck to play on or under (maybe it was for the men).  These discussions went on to the possibility of a wood fence around the back yard and a riding mower for me (I through the mower in). It should be understood that retired people living on social security that may or may not be eating road kill can’t afford all the nice things. 

               The grand kids did not get enough stuff from the Easter Bunny (AKA grandma) but we were able to blow bubbles and kick the soccer ball around among other activities. The Easter Bunny left many eggs in the front yard where Gabi and Alex found them.  These eggs were plastic and had items in them.  Alex found the most eggs with money in side (they split the money later) Gabi got the most candy and trinkets.

               The weather was excellent which allowed Grandma to take a few photos (hundreds) until about 5:00 pm when the rain came. I don’t know how much rain we received but it was definitely a heavy rain. Dave, Gabi, Alex and me watched the rain from the garage.  The kids kept stepping out of the garage into the rain so that kind of put a halt to rain watching.

Below is a photo of Alex trying to ride a rather small tricycle. Even though it was a little small for him, he was making the best of the situation (Ford’s do that).  Do not look at the back wheels as they seem to be going into a different direction.

               On Monday just a little before noon Claire packed the car for her return trip to Dallas. It was a little foggy so I recommended that she drive with a lot of caution. As you may know women in general are not as good at packing for a trip as the men.  Packing for a short trip to Dallas is no different than packing for a long trip or even a vacation. The key is proper use of space and placing the less fragile items on the bottom with the lighter items on top. The photo of Claire’s car trunk shows some very good packing, for a female. I would have offered one suggested change but as with most females, they do not want any suggestions.  I would not have placed the potty seat on top the suit case I would have probably placed it on the floor further up in the trunk. Other than that I would say it was a good load.

               How much does a car seat cost?

               “Time out” at the grand parents’ house is not in a corner but I am sure it may serve the same purpose (he wasn’t really in time out).

From the Easter weekend mind of              Don Ford

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Watching TV

I may have learned something by watching one of the morning shows on TV.

               As usual I start my “hectic” day with a cup of coffee, a bowl of cereal and a little computer time. Next to my computer monitor is a TV which I turn on each morning to learn all the vital news stories.  The TV is also connected to 4 security cameras around the outside of my house. I often get tired of the “so called news” and wanting something more interesting than the “so called News” I turn on my cameras and watch the grass grow.  I have two views of the front yard which also looks up and down the street,  a view of the back yard and a view of the drive way.  There is a motion detector that alerts me of anyone or anything in my drive way.

               The news this morning provided some enlightenment for me which may explain many events in my life.  The story was about a woman that thinks she is pretty and she states that other women hate her because she is so beautiful. She believes that she has not received pay increases and or promotions from her female supervisors because she is so pretty.  She thinks friends talk about her behind her back because she is so pretty.  Her friends probably do talk about her because she is a nut.  (What I have seen of her on TV she’s possibly average in looks and she speaks with an accent.)

               Let’s, for a moment assume (we all know what happens when we ass/u/me) that she is correct in her assumptions. All the bad things that have happened to her, have occurred because she is, “pretty” and all other women just hate anyone who is prettier than them self.  If this assumption is correct how would it apply to me, an “older, handsome, gentleman” (ok one out of three isn’t bad)?  Well, it might explain a lot. Assuming all the things she alleges about women is correct, and assuming those same allegations apply to men, that could mean I may not be handsome (hard to believe). 

Do you know how difficult it is to have learned that I may not be handsome?  All my life I have told myself, I am handsome and I have also been willing to tell others that I am handsome. My mother even told me I was handsome and I am sure she would not lie.

I received pay increases and promotions from my male supervisors, which would indicate they did not hate me because I was more handsome than they were. Then, why is it that some men don’t seem to like me; possibly they don’t like me because “I am more intelligent” than they are.  I know for a fact that “I am more modest” than other men. When I worked “I always had better ideas” that other men did. It may be possible that some men just can’t enjoy being around positive, productive, conservative, modest, highly intelligent men like me. 

No response necessary, I am sure you agree with me.

From the modest, all knowing mind of       Don Ford

Thanks

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Anniversary # 43

Yep, 43 years married today.  Time does seem to fly.

April 5, 1969  through   April 5, 2012

                 The Fords of Hewitt, Texas                                       

Food Supply       

As you may know, retired people living on Social Security have a tough time meeting all their expenses.  A person retires and their weekly check from work stops but all the same bills continue. Think about it; no weekly checks but all the same bills.

            As you may remember, in the past I have explained that there are many good recipes using cat food and dog food as a less expensive way for retired people to eat. This year there is an additional expense that I had to pay and in truth, it is the reason I wrote this note to you.  (Later in this note I will try to remember to give you an address where you can send donations to help the “Fords of Hewitt” purchase food.)  I literally had to pay out of my pocket (which took food off our table) additional money to the Government for my income tax. For many years I have gotten an amount back from the Government but as soon as I retire they make me pay out of pocket.

            Without telling the exact amount of additional taxes I had to pay it should suffice to know that “The Fords of Hewitt” can’t even afford dog or cat food for the next 6 weeks. I am sorry for unloading all this on you but I need to get it out.

            In many of my past notes, I have talked about riding my motorcycle on Thursdays to go to lunch with friends.  Last week I had a different reason for riding on Thursday and I will continue to do this for the next few weeks.  Last Thursday I was very upset at not having enough food for the home table due to paying income tax, so I got on the motorcycle and rode out into the country. As I rode I began to notice all the “Road Kill”.  There was squirrel, dog, skunk, and deer carcass on the road or just off to the side of the road in the ditch. I was able to pick up enough meat for the next week.  I was glad that I had a sharp pocket knife because I would not have been able to get the deer meat without the knife. 

Some advice when looking for road kills;

1. It is usually better if the carcass is off the road. The carcass left on the road gets ran over repeatedly.  Although this will tenderize the animal most of the juices are smashed out.
2. If you see a group of Buzzards eating on road kill it is best to let them have it. I have found that the buzzards are attracted by smell and if the road kill smells bad enough to attract the buzzards you probably don’t want it.  
3. Consider how much traffic there is as you don’t want to get ran over while trying to pick up a road killed squirrel. 
4. People will report you to the Sherriff, so keep that in mind when stopping to examine a carcass.

As you know my wife is an excellent cook and she has been able to conjure up several excellent meals from my recent country ride.  I must say no matter how she prepares the Skunk it still has a wild taste.  Donna has learned how to make excellent Fajitas using road kill.  I am getting hungry thinking about it.  Her meat loaf is really good and the ribs she grilled were good although a little tough (you do not always get young road kill). 

I feel much better now that I have unloaded my problems, sorry that I unloaded on you. I believe I will go to the Star Bucks and get a coffee and oatmeal raisin cookie, which usually makes me feel good.

 

From the retired but not tired brain of     Don Ford

 

Thanks

 

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Texas Food Groups

Why Texans do not have weight concerns.

          A good friend of mine (I know, it is hard to believe that I have a friend, but I do) has lost 50 pounds by eating correct foods in the correct amounts while exercising regularly. He has explained to me that the exercise is the most difficult part of the weight loss program. As I sit here eating my warm apple pie with ice cream, I am contemplating food, weight, exercise, which are all things that I have or do regularly.

1)    Food; we have enough here at the Ford House. 

2)    Weight; I have plenty.

3)    Exercise; I get exercise when I walk to the refrigerator (carrying that body weight). 

I am of the opinion that living in different parts of the country may have something to do with people’s body weight. In school we learned about the food pyramid and food groups.  Another good friend (yes I have more than one friend) who is originally from Texas but now lives in a western state, recently told me about the “Texas food groups”. 

ü  Brisket

ü  Whataburger

ü  Bushes

If you aren’t from Texas or if you haven’t visited Texas you may not know about these food groups; I will attempt to explain.

ü  Brisket is a cut of beef (it can be from a lamb but not in this story) that when prepared properly is smoked overnight. The preparation of a brisket often requires several beers for the cook. When you cut into the smoked brisket there is a pink layer to the outside which for some new-bees makes them think it is not cooked properly. The smoke creates the pink layer. Brisket is best served with beans and potato salad and cold slaw.

ü  Whataburger is the name of a “Heavenly Place” that create such things as the “Jalapeno Burger”. Without this establishment true Texans would possibly starve and probably riot in the streets. The drive through allows the patron to save their energy for the eating process later.

ü  Bushes is another delightful establishment that provides Chicken and Tea to the native Texans. The drive through at Bushes provides “exercise” for Texans. You ask how a drive through provides exercise; the young curb hops get their exercise bringing us the food and tea.

Now that you understand the Texas food groups you can see why Texans are more healthy and happy than people from other parts of the country.

Please understand the above information is provided as a learning experience.  We are “not” encouraging anyone to move to Texas.

         

          Thank You

From the all-knowing but never hungry mind of     Don Ford      

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