This morning, after my 30 minute stroll, I was sitting in my rocker relaxing with my cup of coffee. My present spouse was sitting near me, reading the morning paper. Claire had just dropped off the kids and we were all talking. I had offered to help move items from the duplex to their new house this afternoon. I made the comment, “call me when you are ready to start moving and I will meet you at the duplex”, I went on to say, “I will be waiting for your call with bated breath”.
It occurred to me that I was not sure what the comment, “waiting with bated breath”, meant.
After examining the phrase I concluded, it could mean one of several things. The first and most likely meaning of the phrase, “waiting with bated breath”, is;
“A person has just eaten a tuna fish sandwich, their breath smells like stinky fish, and they are waiting to catch someone doing something”.
It makes sense, one uses bait to catch fish or bait a trap for an animal. Yes I know they have spelled the word bait wrong but what can we expect with the education system that we have today.
Speaking of the so called education system, did you know they are teaching kids to print but not write in cursive? It is a wonder that they are teaching printing, with all the computers and smart phones, they will likely only teach texting in the future.
I can see the class room now, filled with eager third graders, each looking at their smart phone as the teacher stands at the head of the class and skypes the kids. If a child has a question they do not raise their hand, instead they text the teacher.
Any child who uses their voice during class, is sent to the principal’s office. The principal then sends a text to their parents. The child is disciplined for disrupting the class. The child is not placed in a corner, instead their smart phone is taken away and they are not allowed to communicate for thirty minutes.
You think that is odd, wait until you go to the high school football game. No one will be allowed to talk, shout or make any noise. To cheer for a team everyone will be required to use the smart phone or tablet. They will send a text message and the messages are displayed on the big screen at the end of the field. There will not be an announcer for the game, text messages will be shown on the big screen as to who did what to whom.
Those of us with flip phones will be considered as handicapped.
Back to my original thought, “waiting with bated breath”, I now know what the original meaning of the comment is. It means waiting with short breaths do to excitement.
The problem is, when I get excited, I begin to breathe heavier, at least that is the way I remember being excited!
The word, “bated”, was originally, “abated”, but someone, possibly a professor at some university, decided it would be cool to leave off the “A” and say bated. This professor would be a liberal.
Enough, I am now so upset with the education system, I am shutting down and going to take a nap.
Text me if you have a question!
(Irony, think about the comment.)
Don Ford
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