Believe it or not... 10.31.14

 

     This story is a, “believe it or not” tale. If you don’t believe it, that is ok with me.

I have this structure which I built for the grandkids to play in and on, in the back yard. The grandkids call it their fort.  As an afterthought, I built a slanted ladder for easier access due to the kids getting bigger and needing a larger opening to get into the top level.

     Would you believe one of my neighbors called the city and reported that I have this structure which I built without a permit? 

     Can you believe that a city employee came out and wanted to see the structure that was allegedly built on my property without a permit? 

     I know you would not believe that I had a few choice words for the city employee before he left. I also understand that you will not believe that the vengeful city employee called OSHA about the structure.

     I personally find it difficult to believe, that an OSHA agent came to my house and wanted to inspect the structure. Would you believe she spent almost 30 minutes reviewing the project?

     To top it off, could you believe that I received a citation for not having adequate handicapped access to the grandkids fort?

     I find it difficult to believe that your government could force me to install hand rails on the slanted ladder saying it would provide handicapped access (photo below).   

          Truth is in the eye of the reader. Do not read the small print below.

_{**    The truth is, Alex wanted the hand rails because his Nana has hand rails at her house, so he wanted them on his Fort. The rest of the story is made up from my fertile imagination.}

                On a different subject:

As I was contemplating many of the world’s problems, part of an old song came to mind. What I remember of the song may have been the title, or just part of the song. It goes like this, 

           “Does your chew gum lose its flavor on the bed post overnight”.
 

            To the untrained eye, that question would seem to be inert. To a trained observer like me, there seems to be several topics that one may consider from that one short question.

                First is the terminology, “chew gum”. In today’s politically correct world, those who want to seem more intelligent than the rest of us, or politically correct in their statements would likely say, “chewing gum”.  I challenge you to think about this, do you chew the gum, or do you chewing the gum. Don’t present the statement, ”I have been chewing”, as that is past tense, and do not come at me with, “I will be chewing”, as that is future tense. Please, try to stay in the present.

Obviously, the correct terminology for this process is, chew, so the correct phrase is “Chew Gum”, end of that topic.

                Second is the question of flavor. For those of us who have lived, let’s say longer than 50 years, we likely remember when chew gum actually did have a flavor in the olden days. This flavor would last many times longer than the chew gum of today. 

                It is a proven fact that in the olden day’s one could chew their gum, including bubble gum, for hours at a time, and the gum would stay soft as you chewed. A kid could be called to supper and they could place their gum on the side of their plate while they ate, then when they finished eating they could begin to chew the gum again.

Today’s gum is engineered to last for no more than 11 minutes. This so called gum loses its flavor in 6.25 minutes, then it gets stiff, “hard to chew” and the average person will discard the gum. The chew gum manufactures have done this in an effort to sell more gum.   

Third is the descriptive term, “Bed Post”. Most people of today’s generation have never seen a bed post, and even if they did have a bed post, they would not want to place today’s less than desirable chew gum on anything overnight.

Why did they stop making bed posts? As with most things of today, the manufacture puts less material into an item and charge you more.

Fourth, what is the reason for the question? Why would anyone care if your chew gum lost its flavor overnight? Do you think someone would want to chew your gum after it was on your bed post overnight, even if it had some flavor left? 

 

May all your queries be answered this completely.

  

Don Ford