How long has it been since you were read the story of the three little pigs and the Big Bad Wolf? OK, it has been a while for most of you, yes I know that I have one reader who read the story last night before bed. That would not be a big deal if you weren’t 48 years old and live alone. Creepy!
We, here at, “The Ford Homestead Institute for the Preservation and Correct interpretation of Childhood Story’s”, have been reviewing many of these childhood tales. During our in-depth research we have uncovered abnormalities in some of the tales. We hope you will appreciate the time and effort we have put into this research.
First let’s consider the title of the story. If they were, “three little pigs” why did their mother say, they had grown so big it was time to move out.
Less face facts, they were grown pigs, they did not clean up after themselves, and they ate everything in the house. Their mother could not support herself and three adult pigs any longer on her government check.
The mother pig was a single parent. The husband was a boar (did you get the play on words, bore, boring, tedious, boar pig) and the last time they had seen him he was hanging out with the butcher at the local grocer over 6 months ago.
The three pigs did not want to leave but they were forced out. The three pigs were heading northeast hoping to get to a more liberal state. Like so many, these pigs did not want to work, but they did want to receive food free, monthly allowance, free housing, and Medicaid, all provided by a liberal so called government.
The first pig was the laziest of the three. The story states that a man gave her some straw and she built her house out of straw, which is incorrect. This lazy 308 pound porker found a pile of straw and crawled into it.
The other two pigs continued to walk northeast. If you remember, the tale states that a man gave the second pig some sticks and the pig built a house of sticks. That is on true. What actually happened was, the second pig found a mud puddle that was in some trees and under a bunch of sticks. This porker eased into the mud and settled down for a nap.
You already know that the third pig did not meet a man with bricks. Come on folks, pigs can’t build houses out of anything. The third pig found an abandoned silo which was made of bricks, stone and cement. This pig crawled inside and decided this would be her new home.
There was one small problem with the silo. As you may well know, silos are round, and the third pig tired herself out trying, to find a corner to pee in.
The silo turned out to be a good choice since there was a big storm on the horizon. The wind began to blow and the rain fell. The first pigs straw stack blew away quickly and she took off running for her sisters hiding place in the trees. The two of them hunkered down in the mud but in just a few minutes they had to leave as one of the trees blew over and almost crushed them.
They ran as fast as their short fat legs would carry them finally arriving at the silo where number three pig was safely sleeping inside.
They beat on the door and finally number three pig woke up and let them in. Safe and secure from the storm they all three slept soundly through the night.
The next morning after the storm had passed, the three pigs were famished so they came out of the silo looking for food. To their surprise there was a man there with several buckets of slop, which he freely offered to the three pigs. They ate until they were full and then this nice man offered to allow them to sleep in the back of his truck.
This nice man gave the three pigs a ride in the back of his truck. Who was this nice man? He was the butcher at the local grocer, the same nice man that was friends with their father.
Now you know the true story of the three pigs and you also understand why the true story could not be read to children as a bed time story.
If you would like additional information on this, or any other subject, you may contact us at our web site.
May all your stories be true and comforting!
Don Ford
What do you mean, I have too much time on my hands? It has been cold and rainy, so I must stay inside, otherwise, I would melt in the rain.
No comments:
Post a Comment