Done and done 01.16.19

            Did you see the title line and did you understand the meaning? What! You didn’t even look at the title line, and you don’t understand it! Good, that means you will need to read this soon to be well written article.

            Let’s see if we can keep it short and sweet, if not sweet at least short.

            Yesterday, my favorite wife finished her work in the homestead and decided to go to the garage which was filled with Christmas trees and rein deer, all of which needed to be taken apart and placed in cartons.

            Her decision caused me to head for the Ford’s ole shed.

            I had previously carried the plastic Santa, his wife, the manger crowd and other plastic figures to the shed and they were laying outside the shed.

            Arriving at the shed I began to remove items like lawn mower, ladders, saws, fall decorations, and Easter decorations. The lawn around the shed was covered with many items. Maybe we should have had a shed sale.

            With all those items removed I then began to remove the boxes that are used to store the Christmas trees and other items and I carried them to the garage. My favorite spouse began breaking them down and placing them in cartons. As the items were secured in cartons I began to carry them to the shed. The Christmas items were all placed in the back of the shed, then the fall items, with the Easter items next, as they will be removed in that order. After all the decorations were properly stored I then began to bring the ladders, saws, string trimers, chain saw etc. back into the shed.

            Note: I was glad I had lights powered from a battery, which is charged by a solar panel as it was kind of dark in the shed.

            The work at the shed complete, my ole senior body staggered back to the Ford’s ole garage, where my favorite spouse was sweeping. I carried a few items to the trash container and recycle bin.

            The garage was now ready for a vehicle. The Ford’s ole van was happy not having to sleep outside again. 

            My favorite spouse worked twice as hard as me, getting those decorations ready to be stored. “Done and done”, means my spouse’s work, and my work are both done. Two duns.

 

Not happy to do the work, happy that I can!

                                                      

Poet and don’t know it; Don Ford

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Pocket knife for kids 01.15.19

            Last evening I was watching the TV, after the forced labor of washing the evening dishes. Yes, I wash the dishes each evening and occasionally during the day. My favorite spouse suggested that I could accomplish two things by washing the dishes. First the dishes will be clean and ready for the next meal. Second I would also be washing my hands which is good for everyone. Was she saying I am not clean?

            Anyway, the TV show was about a birthday party for a 7 year old boy. The TV parents of this 7 year old boy were telling everyone to give him presents that were not gender specific, and basically boring things for a kid of 7 years. To make a short story longer, an adult bought the boy a pocket knife. That started me thinking.

            I know what you are thinking, here we go again, another memory of the senior Ford.  If you don’t what to read about this interesting memory, stop reading now!  

            I have a memory of my nephew and I (he is 3 months younger than me) going to the store and buying pocket knives. We were in the 3^rd grade when we purchased these knives. Our parents knew we were getting the knives.

            Yes it was different times back in the 50s. I have carried a knife in or on my pocket since I was 7 years old. The last 10 years I have carried two knives. No one has ever asked why I carry two knives, so I will tell you.

            I had carried a knife in or on my right pocket for years. One day when I was mowing I found a knife in my yard. I now carry the found knife on my left pocket. Why carry both? With two knives I can reach a knife with either hand. If I have something in one hand that needs to be cut, I can reach a knife with the other hand. I don’t care if you think that is silly or not, I do it.

            As you now know, from the time I was a kid I have carried a knife, I never got in trouble because I had a pocket knife. Although I never got into trouble, I can’t say I never did anything stupid with the pocket knife. There was a so-called game we played as kids. The name of the game was, “Stretch”.

            This is how the game went. Two boys would face each other about a foot between them, with their feet together at the start of the game. They had their knives in hand. One boy would toss his knife at the ground, it the blade stuck in the ground boy two would move his foot to where the knife was stuck. Boy two would then toss his knife at the ground and if it stuck boy one would move his foot to where the knife was. This continued until one boy could not stretch to where the knife was sticking. No one that I know of was ever hurt doing this, but as I think about it, stupid, childish, and unsafe are the words that come to mind.

            I did carry a knife in school every day. Probably if a kid carried a knife to school now days, and they found out, he would be in big trouble.

 

Stretch not as a game, you might get stuck!

Knife connoisseur; Don Ford

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Editor 01.14.19

            Yesterday, having little or nothing to do after the grandkids went home, I decided to go to the Ford’s ole computer and look for an article I had written months ago. After a little searching I found the article. I read the article and decided to edit it, so I printed it and started working on it. Personally, I like writing better than editing.

            The article I am editing is about lonely times as an old person, who has little or no memory. I guess it could be about any of us in a few years.

            I left the computer for a while to get a cup of coffee, did you miss me? I heard what you said, and that is rude! He just said, “Who cares if he goes to get a cup of coffee, he is old and no one missed him”, that comment cuts deep!             I may never get over it! L

            Wait a moment, I just had a sip of coffee and a cookie, all is well again! J

 

            Income tax time is coming. Would you believe, due to the Government shut down no one will be required to pay their income tax this year? That is good news, but I learned that, after I had already bought an income tax preparation software.

            Yesterday, I went on line and checked on the price of the service I have used in the past. Usually I find this software in a store cheaper than on line. I was reviewing the prices, and yes I had a code for a reduced price, I decided to click out of that page and check at the stores for a better price. When I tried to click out, a new page popped up, offering me a last chance for an additional discount. The additional discount caused me to purchase the software on line. Now I probably will not get to use it due to the government shut down. K

            The weather has turned into real winter and it may be due to something I did the other day. I, thought it would be fun to call a friend in northern Illinois, Lonnie Carter, and ask him if it was cold and snowing. He acknowledged that it was both cold and snowing. I had to happily explain that the temps here in Hewitt were in the mid-50s and the sun was shining. Possibly this freezing cold weather (34 degrees) we are experiencing today, is a payback for my insolence to a good Yankee friend. He hasn’t always been a Yankee, but he has been in Yankee land long enough now, he is a Naturalized Yankee Citizen!

            I need to get a second cup of coffee, you should do the same.        

 

My apologies for the cold weather here in Texas!

 

Senior weather creator: Don Ford

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Dave's birthday 01.12.19

            January 12^th 44 years ago, a boy was born. Today we celebrated by going out to lunch with Dave, Claire, Gabi and Alex. Lunch was good and the conversation was bright and interesting. After lunch we returned to the Ford’s Homestead where my favorite wife found the camera and photos were taken.

            Note; while we were eating lunch I referred to my present wife as my favorite wife. Alex quickly explained that she was my only wife. Now my present wife knows that being referred to as my favorite wife doesn’t mean anything since she is my only wife. Why did Alex have to spoil a good thing?

            Alex was talking to the echo dot (aka Alexa) when someone asked Alexa to sing happy birthday. Alexa began singing and we all chimed in singing to Dave. Artificial intelligence will take over someday.  

            Speaking of the grandkids, they are here at the house this afternoon and tonight. We will take them to brunch tomorrow. They have been staring into their computers since we returned from lunch.

Hope your Saturday is as nice as ours!

Senior relaxation specialist; Don Ford  

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Some clowns are scary 01.11.19

            As a child, I thought clowns were funny and usually seen in the circus or at parties, although I never seen one at a party or at the circus. Heck now that I think of it, I don’t remember ever seeing a party type clown in real life.

            The clowns I am speaking of can be seen daily in normal life. These clowns actually think they are attractive, and they could be, if they had someone who would tell them, “You look like a clown”! Yesterday, as I waited for the Alex to get out of school, I had finished playing solitaire on the tablet and was actually looking at the people who come to get the kids from school.

            I glanced at my mirror, and was surprised to see a female clown come walking across the highway toward the school. It was difficult to see this clown as she was walking through cars parked along the roadway. Finally she came out into full view of my mirror, I could not believe how wonderfully funny this female subject was. She had bleached blond hair which came down to her shoulders. The bleached hair was straight, it had no curl in it. The top of her hair (head) had that red spray paint that some people use. This clown had an ugly tan jacket on, it did not appear to be new. She had those wonderfully funny pants with holes down the front of the legs. Her shoes were a fluorescent green, they did not draw too much attention away from her head.

            As she walked out of the view of my mirror, I leaned forward to see this wonderfully dressed clown. It was at this point that I realized that she was not dressed as a clown intentionally, to be funny, she thought she looked good. I shook my head in disbelief.

Different subject;

            I found another way to know when one is getting old. Obviously, when you have a 70^th birthday you know you are old. The second way is when you have a discussion with your favorite wife about the ages of your two sons, who were both born in the month of January. If you believe they are both two years younger than what your favorite wife has told you, and if she is right, then you are getting old. It is difficult for me to believe our youngest son is 44 and our oldest son is 48.             I can’t be old enough to be their parents! Can we say DNA test!

New subject;

            Our neighbor presented me with some deer sausage which has jalapenos and some chees in it. Wow these sausage sticks are great! The neighbor’s grandson (10 or 11 years old) shot the deer so I thanked him and gave him a big hug. Wow it is really good!

Look in the mirror, if you see a clown, change!

Senior observer and clothing critic; Don Ford

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I missed it 01.10.19

            Simply stated, “I missed it”. I had no explanation as to why, I just missed it.

            I received a text message from a friend and neighbor (same person) yesterday, yes, those who live around you can be both, friend and neighbor, even though some neighbors are not friends or even friendly. In truth, it is not mandatory that one be friends with their neighbor but one can still be friendly with a neighbor. 

            The text message stated that I had been invited to join him in, “His man cave”, for a happy hour. I am assuming you understand what a happy hour is. I quickly texted him back saying that I would check with my favorite wife and see if I could attend. I received permission as long as I returned in time for supper.

            I secured a glass filled with ice, and a diet coke. I headed out the front door of the Homestead. I was about halfway across the street when I stopped, turned and looked back at the Homestead. I was proud of removing all the Christmas decorations that day, and I was wanting to pat myself on my back for the work I had accomplished. With a big smile I reviewed the front of the homestead.

            Suddenly I was aware of a Christmas tree and a rain deer still standing. How did I miss them? I was methodically removing wires and decorations from left to right.

            I remember, the first area I worked on was at the bench, where I removed wires and a string of lights. For some reason I did not remove the tree or the deer at the left of the bench.

            Surprised that I missed them and with a tear in my eye I walked slowly to the neighbors Man cave. I was heartbroken. How could I have missed these two items?

              Then it came to me, NARBNL. I have used those letters in my emails for many years. Now I was happy again and I understood why I did not see, or remove, the tree and deer, they were to the left.

            My friend and I enjoyed a lively conversation for about an hour, I made it home in time to have supper with my favorite wife.

 

Not always right but never left!

 

A conservative and independent senior; Don Ford

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Military training 01.09.18

            It was a cool winter morning, as I along with the Ford’s dog, ventured out into the front yard. It is pre-sunrise, the sky is a dark gray, the street light at the corner is still on, and there are dark black shadows all around the neighborhood.

            As I step out on the front porch, the motion detector turned on the porch light behind me. If I was in a military setting I would have been an easy target. I stood there waiting for the dog to get the paper, but he was more interested in smelling of everything around the yard. He may be part blood hound, he seems to be able to track anything anywhere.

            Since he was ignoring the paper I began to walk toward it, assuming I might need to get it myself. As usual, he saw me walking that way, so he ran to the paper and picked it up.

            I stood there for a moment looking around the neighborhood. The people who live a couple houses up the street are always out in their garage or standing in the yard every morning. This couple has two kids. This couple also smokes and I assume they have an agreement to not smoke inside the home. Since they both smoke, is that a good example for their kids?

            As I looked toward the lighted garage I noticed a small red light in a very dark area next to the garage. That small red light went from dull red, to bright red, and then back to dull red, finally it was out of sight. I knew there was someone standing in the dark, smoking.

            In military training, soldiers are taught when in a war setting, to never smoke out in the open at night. In the dark, when a person sucks on a cigarette (I use the term sucks as I do not want anyone to think smoking is fun or ok, it isn’t) the tip lights up giving the enemy a location to shoot at. When the person up the street sucked on their cigarette, I saw the glow from the tip, it brought back military training.

            In the olden days, when I was in training, the government provided soldiers cigarettes. If you were given a food ration (eating from a box) there would be a small pack of four cigarettes in the box with the food. Those of us who didn’t smoke, gave them to the guys who did.

 

Smoke not and you will be better off!

 

Senior nonsmoker; Don Ford

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More forced labor 01.08.19

            Yes, you read the title line correctly, there was, “More forced labor”. With that statement I would like to follow up with an explanation. She didn’t tell me to do it, but I knew if I want a freshly cooked meal for supper, I better do it, and that is the same as, “Forced labor”!

            I removed some of the Christmas lights, and then I removed the nativity scene. I carefully folded and secured the wires along with the stakes that secured these decorations to the ground. Most of the items have water in, or on them, so they are left to air dry prior to being placed in the shed. I felt good about the work I had performed, then my spouse of 49 years and 8 months came out side and asked why I had not removed some other decorations. She did not say, you got it right, or nice job, instead why didn’t you…

            I sit here with tears in my eyes, as I try to write this editorial of abuse, to a male, retired, senior person.

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            I have another photo of the Tres enjoying the Ford’s ole couch. He doesn’t even say thank you for allowing him to sleep on the couch!

            The kids are back in school today. On the way to school Gabi and I discussed bullying. She said there is a lot of bullying that goes on. She noted that the bullying was mostly based on one’s appearance.

            I told Gabi of a guy who bullied me in junior high. This boy was bigger than the rest of us and he was always hitting me or someone. No, I did not tell the teacher or my parents. Being bullied was just something we put up with.

            Many years later I was in a grocery store when I saw this guy. He worked there and he was stocking the shelf with bread. I was at least a foot taller than him and much heavier. I thought about going over to him and telling him what I thought about him being a bully. I then thought, I am better than that. I would be the bully if I walked over to him, looked down at him, and told him what I thought! I could have bullied him then, but I am better than that.

            Changing the subject slightly; Gabi now has a BB gun. A neighbor found BB guns for girls on sale, they have a pink stock. The neighbor called us and ask if we wanted one for Gabi. We said yes, so now not only Alex will learn how to shoot a BB gun in Cub Scouts, Gabi can also learn from her dad (not in Cub Scouts).

            Yes I plan on removing other Christmas decorations today. You are right, it is back breaking work for a senior person, but I must do this or else… 

May your day not be threatened!

Poor ole laborer; Don Ford

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