Colder than 12.30.15

                                    Spring has sprung,

                                    Fall has fell,

                                    Winter’s here,

                                    It is colder than, (you can complete the pome)

            Do you find it irritating, to know most people complain all the time? I want you to understand that I am not complaining about all this excessive rain we had over the last two days. Before that one exasperating person ask, we only had four and one tenth inches of rain.

            I am not going to complain about the excessive wind that we have been enduring, which add to the discomfort of most native and naturalized Texans.

            You know I would never complain about the cold weather, which when added to the wind (noted above), seems to cut through the many layers of clothing, causing one’s aged, and may I say, well preserved senior body, to shiver pitilessly!

            As you may well know, my comments might sound as if I am complaining, but in reality I am constructively commenting, in an effort to help others, understand how this crummy, cold, wet, horrid weather is affecting the nice Texas citizens.

            Let’s get started, by saying it was mid 70s one day, and the next, it was freezing. That is also known as, “being colder than a well diggers shovel”.

            That un-needed rain, in excess of 4 inches, has caused many problems for too many people. Just think of all the people who would have liked to have gone shopping, and or return unwanted gifts. These nice people were forced to stay at home in the dry.

            Let’s not even consider the wind, as it just exaggerated the cold and wet weather. Darn it, if I wanted this type weather, I would move north! 

            Let us get away from the uncompromising weather and speak of something that is just as bad, if not worse.

I have ordered a set of floor mats for, “The Ford’s Chevy”, and these mats cost too much. I believe they should have a mink lining, to cost that much. My wife will need to work much longer hours and on many different roads, in this cold wet weather, without gloves and no umbrella, to gather enough aluminum cans to pay for these floor mats. 

 I must remember to thank my present spouse for this nice Christmas present. (For that one person who thinks my wife does not know of these postings, she is copied, and may I say, reads all the postings.)

May your day be warm and dry!

Don Ford

Roses are Red Violets are Blue, 12.27.15

Roses are Red Violets are Blue,     

Winter is here, and I have nothing to do!

            As the year comes closer to an end, Christmas has now passed, and the warm nice weather has turned unpredictable with heavy rain, and is finally turning cold, I thought I should present these photos, taken by and unrecognized artist (me) who works not, with a paint brush, but uses his so called smart phone to create master pieces.

            I have two photos I want to present for your edification. These photos are of the same rose showing some progression in the blooming process.

   

There are two rose buds in the above photo, with the centered rose almost ready to open.

“What a difference a day makes”, the rose has opened and is very colorful. There is some change to the second bud, but not as dramatic as our main character.

            I observed this rose, even though it seem almost impossible, to be almost twice the size the next day. It was late evening when I saw the huge bloom so I thought I would get a third photo, today. That did not happen, as the three inches of rain over night and the wind gusts at almost 40 mph, removed the rose from the bush.

            Maybe next time!

Christmas was good to me, I receive several nice gifts. I received a Star Bucks gift card which is always nice,

I also received my favorite candy, the soft peppermint balls. I keep peppermint by my recliner.

I also received a new coffee cup that have the photo of the grandees on it.

I was presented with a glass, which could be used for adult beverages, with, “Uncle Don” engraved on it.

I also received a donation in cash, which will cover the cost of some real nice new floor mats for, “The Ford’s Chevy”.

For those of you who thought I was going to get a lump of coal, you should now understand, “I was not on the naughty list”, at least not during December! 

I need to stop now and make myself presentable, my present spouse is having an open house for her friends today and I will likely be the only male in the herd.

They may even leave enough food for me, to have a bite or two, maybe!

Be aware of the weather, today and tomorrow, where ever you are!       

Don Ford 

When I was a kid 12.24.15

            It is Christmas Eve and I have nothing to do other than try to stay out of my present wife’s way. She is totally involved in getting everything ready for this evening’s repast, and then the noon meal tomorrow, Christmas. That is why I have decided to come to the key board and put together a couple memories that will mean nothing to you but help me stay safely out of the first wife’s way!

            Being from swamp east Missouri (actually the swamps were farther south from where I was raised and they had been eliminated by the installation of many levies, many years ago) we used the same words as normal people but they occasionally had different meanings.

I had understood there were 3 meals each day (if you were lucky) and they were breakfast, dinner and supper. Now that I am trying to be a somewhat normal person, I still forget to use the word lunch instead of dinner.

By the way, the above statement has nothing to do with this uninformative, nonprofessional presentation of a non-journalistic endeavor!

I was relating an old Christmas memory the other day as I talked to my sister over the phone. I told her I remembered a gift I had received from her when I was about 10 or 11 years old. Back in those days there was a cowboy TV show named, “Have Gun Will Travel”. 

This cowboy always had a concealed derringer, and the small derringer always saved the day. I wanted one real bad and my sister bought it for me for Christmas. Good Christmas!

I remember one year I bought my mom a lamp for Christmas. The light bulb would heat up it would turn the inside making the seen on the outside seem to move. The picture was of an old Model “A” car. I thought I had bought my mom the best present ever.

I only remember one year when it snowed on Christmas Eve. The next morning I had decided I would pull my sled across the yard and tell my younger nephews, when they come over, that it was tracks, from Santa’s sled. My dad pointed out that I would need to explain my foot prints. That put the kibosh on that. 

There was this one Christmas when I had asked for a set of barbells / dumbbells. I was an early teenager and my dad had purchased a set from, “Montgomery Wards”, when they were located in down town Cape Girardeau, Mo.

Dad did not bring them home when he bought them and on Christmas Eve he took me along to get them (maybe he wanted me to carry them). When we arrived at the store dad went to the sales person and asked for the barbell set assuming the weights would be in a box.

The sales person checked, and said the only set they had was the set on display. Dad asked, “How am I going to keep my son from seeing the present”. The sales person said, “You aren’t”! We carried my non-surprise gift out to the car.

That is all the Christmas memories that I can conjure up right now.

I haven’t asked Santa for anything this year. I did see one thing that I almost bought for myself (a sock cap with the word Ford on it) but when I looked at the price ($13.00) I decided I could do without. $13.00 for a sock cap that is an advertisement for a car maker, I just could not do it!

We hope there is something nice under the tree for you!

Don Ford

Having Fun 12.23.15

            This posting should be short and sweet, maybe. Yesterday, Gabi and Alex were at our house due to school being out for the Christmas holiday.

            The two grandees were out back at the fort indulging in play. Gabi, being a free spirit, decided to enter the second floor of the fort without using the stairs. She decided to climb the pool ladder that was temporarily stored at the end of the structure. See photo below.

            Please keep in mind that it was December 22^nd when this photo was taken, accounting for the fact that they do not have coats or shoes on.

            In the fotoe (pronounced fo toe) we see, “The Gabi”, climbing around the corner of the fort in an effort to gain access to the second floor.

            You may also notice that, “The Alex”, is about to cut the rope with his sword, in an attempt to cause his favorite sister, to fall to the ground.

            Short story made longer, Gabi made it in the upper level of the fort, and Alex did not cut the rope.

            Today’s weather is also as nice as yesterday. 

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good…

                You are correct I did not finish that statement, so what!      

  

Don Ford

Really? 12.22.15

I have heard my grandees reply with the word, “Really?”, after I have made profound statements. In truth I have heard some young adults use the same expression, so I thought it would be proper, for this more than fun filled, and may I say well written report, about changing times.

This morning after my strenuous exercise program, I was recuperating in my old rocker, while enjoying a cup of coffee. The coffee was hot and good. I had even put a small amount of a flavored cream in the cup, just to give it a little bit of Christmas flavor. 

As I sat there contemplating the worlds situation, an old Christmas carol came to mind. I can’t recall all the words but it was running through my head over and over.

As this part of the song played over and over in my head, I then remembered a cartoon I had seen many years ago in a magazine, which always had a fold out photo of a nude female subject.

The cartoon was of a male subject, dressing himself in a female’s clothing as he sang, “Dawn we now our gay apparel”. At that point in my life, gay meant happy. I did not understand the meaning of that cartoon until years later.

Before that one person asks, no I did not look at the nude photos of the young and pretty female subjects, I liked the articles and cartoons. 

I was able to get that thought out of my mind, as I decided to replace that song with another Christmas song, “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the one I use to know”. That is when I wondered, is that song about white people having a Christmas? My goodness, is there any Christmas song that is good for everyone?  

            I decided to get to a politically correct Christmas song, “Jingle Bells”, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way, oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open slay, dashing through the snow, in a one horse open slay, over the hills we go, laughing all the way, bells on bob tails ring, making spirits bright…

Let’s consider those lyrics for a moment. It occurred to me they had an old horse pulling that slay, in the cold winter snow, most likely at night. The poor horse was not walking because it states they were, “dashing through the snow”, which means they were running the old horse, and they were probably hitting the horse with some type of whip, just to keep him going.

The song states that they were going over the hills of snow, which means it was much harder for that old horse to pull the sled full of people up the hills of snow.

Have you thought about this part of the song, “Bells on Bobtails ring”? A Bobtail means they have cut off part of the horse’s tail, (usually just hair) then they have put bells on the horse’s tail. Think of it for a moment, every time the horse would swing its tail, it would not only ring the bells, it would also hit the poor old horse with the bells, which had to hurt.

That is animal cruelty!  

Believe me, the horse would have rather been in a warm stall with some grain to eat.

Not being one who wants to give up, I considered another song, a fun song about a reindeer, Rudolf! I believed this song should be fun and not be offensive in any way.

Oh contraire my friends!

Right off the bat I realized the song was about a less fortunate reindeer, which had a handicap. As the song states, “he had a very shiny nose, and it glowed”. This handicap was not accepted or over looked by the other deer, “they laughed and called him names”! The song even states, “They (being the other reindeer) would not let him play in any reindeer games”! Do you have any idea how it feels to be left out, not wanted, and made fun of?

When they had no other alternative, Santa came and asked for his help. What did they want him to do, not play in their games, instead, they made him work, pulling a slay all night.

I now realized that many Christmas songs were filled with politically incorrect actions or statements and prejudices. I decided, I could no longer have these songs in my head!

So I gave up on Christmas songs and decided to think about something else. What popped into my head, mistletoe and a kiss from a pretty girl? 

Then it hit me, mistletoe is a parasitic plant, which attaches itself to other plants, usually trees, and will eventually destroy other plants. Who was the genius that decided a parasite should be used to get someone to kiss them?

Now that I have given up on songs and mistletoe, I started to think about the story, “The night before Christmas”. When I realized that this story has a rodent in it, (not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse). I gave up and decided to think about something other than modern day Christmas subjects.

            Finally, I started thinking about the true meanings of Christmas. I began to have happy thoughts, with a smile on this well weathered, senior’s face, as I thought about the birth of Christ, the true meaning of Christmas.

Different subject:

            It was 60 degrees this morning at 6:30 when I began my strenuous exercise program, it doesn’t feel much like December and I am not complaining. The grandees and I washed my truck in the 70 degree midday sun.  

I hope this article did not impact your Christmas spirit!

Don Ford

Merry Christmas 2015

From My present wife and me, we want to wish you a  “Merry Christmas!”

We hope you will enjoy family and friends, and this year, try to be nice to that one odd relative.

                     

       Merry Christmas everyone!

Don Ford

Almost that time 12.17.15

                As the title states, it is almost that time! Time for what, you ask. You must be living in a cave with no calendar if you have to ask that question.

Why do I always get these darn questions, and why do they have to be at the beginning of my story? Now my thought process is totally demolished, I probably will not have another good thought today.

Thanks, I heard that under your breath comment too! So, I never have good thoughts, now you have hurt my feelings, and before you make another comment under your breath, yes, I do have feelings! Would you believe that tears are streaming from my eyes?

“Almost that time”, is the title of this well composed article. I will now explain and show you, how I know.

First, Gabi and Alex were using chalk to draw on the drive way. Alex had drawn Santa’s Bag full of toys and Gabi has drawn Santa himself, as seen in the photo below.

Then there is the Christmas decorations that are presented to the public, from The Ford Homestead, as seen in the professionally composed photo below.

 

                This photo was taken as the lights had just came on and the sky was not totally dark at that time. You may also notice the professionally manicured lawn of the Ford Homestead (I have now mowvaccd of the yard 5 times to get the leaf infestation under control.) [Mowvac is defined as, “using the mower to vacuum the yard”]

                If you will allow me to insert one additional photo, taken this week in the month of December, 2015, in one of the many flower gardens at The Ford Homestead.

                The roses seem to enjoy the large amount of BS that seems to always be produced by yours truly. I think it is nice to be known as, “a BS’er” or as the grandees occasionally refer to me, “Silly”!

If you can’t have fun, don’t do it!

Don Ford

Hieroglyphics 12.16.15

            Before anyone asks, yes, that is the first time I have ever written typed the word, “Hieroglyphics”.

            Why have I inserted the word, “Hieroglyphics” as the title of this soon to be, “professionally written article”? I will articulate the reason to you.

In recent excavations performed by the scientists here at, “The Ford Homestead Scientific Excavating Foundation for the Preservation of Extinct Writings” (aka, FHSEFPEW) we found several Hieroglyphics that have cause our scientists to rethink, “who had created the Egyptian, American Indian along with other ancient Hieroglyphs”.

     

 The FHSEFPEW scientists have hypothesized, “all the ancient Hieroglyphs were created by children, who were home from school due to an illness or an injury”.

Consider for a moment, do you really think any adult, even thousands of years ago would have scribbled (scribble use to be the term for these markings) those odd markings, now known as Hieroglyphs. Get real, even a caveman would not have scribbled on the walls of caves, it had to be their off spring.

We will soon have the complete published report available on line for a small donation!

News Flash:

Alex received an injury which required a visit to the emergency room, Sunday night. The injury of this type is more prevalent with older persons. His injury occurred while taking a shower. Yep, he slipped and fell hitting his head requiring 7 stitches. Ford Heads are known to be, “hard as a rock!” No, the bath tub was not damaged!

In the photo below we see Alex just after the doctor had finished.

Alex took Monday off from school, to work and play I mean, recover with Papaw.

The injury, which required 7 stitches, did not seem to reduce the young man’s ability to enjoy the day off. We did go to the local Bush’s Chicken café for lunch.

 Using my shadow, he was able to make an outline of “the perfect man”. Before that one person comments, the shadow shows that I may have gained a little weight in my lower body, I am attempting to eat less and work out more.

 

We hope your day is accident free!

 

Don Ford