It is true that each of us learn from experiences, and that is today’s topic.
If you touch something hot, you learn quickly that it is hot, and not to repeat that action, “learned from experience”.
We go to school and experience the learning process. You may want to consider all the interactions and experiences you had while in school. Not only what the teachers presented, you learned from their actions and reactions. Think of the things you learned from class mates and others you met in school, after school and school events. I can’t speak for you, but I learned more from the other students than I did from the teachers.
We learn from experiences with our parents. What we learn from parents (good and not so good) will last throughout our life. I learned many things that I have used throughout my life, even though I did not understand that I was learning at the time. My parent’s actions and reactions are with me still today.
I believe children should have two parents! Consider a child with one parent, he / she receives half as much interactions (experiences). Even though it is a one sided experience, it is better than no experience, but not as good as two. Often the one parent may be bitter, and may unknowingly express this bitterness to the child.
Consider, what occurs if there are no parents. The child may be put in foster home/s and those experiences, even the good ones, or no substitute for real parents. Possibly the child is raise by grandparents who sometimes are just too old, or too tired to provide the necessary guidance for a young person.
We learn from interactions of those we choose to associate with. This applies to all stages of our life. As children, we should be involved with other good kids. All children will at some point associate with a less than desirable kid. How the good kid responds will often depend on their experiences with their parents.
There is an old saying that goes something like this, “you are known by the company you keep”. You are influenced by those same people, and these experiences are likely to form your actions and thoughts, now and in the future. It is almost impossible to associate with others (friends, co-workers, family) without being influenced, either negatively or positively by their actions and comments.
Again, this applies to all stages of our life. Although we would like to believe, as adults, we would choose to associate with upstanding people, and that when we were in the presence of less than upstanding people, we would not be influenced by their actions or comments. We are influenced by others even when we think we are not.
Being aware of the fact that others influence us, is the only way we can be sure that the influence is what we want it to be. Being aware is our key to developing our own attitudes.
For those of you with children, being aware of all their interactions with others is an impossible task, but that should not keep you from being aware of as much of their interactions as possible.
Parents, you must set good examples all the time. How do you do this, by remembering that your children are watching and learning from all your actions and comments?
Want to learn what is going on in your child’s life, find a way to talk with your kids in a non-serious manner. Conversations that seem casual will provide you with much good information. When someone is not guarded, adults or children, they are apt to open up in their comments.
In summary;
Being aware is the key to developing your own attitude!
Being aware and being there, is the key to helping your children develop their attitudes.
Don Ford
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