It seemed like any other day, the weather was excellent as expected and the neighborhood was quiet. I, being retired and on a fixed income, was at home doing nothing. I am allowed to do nothing at home because it doesn’t cost anything.
I had just completed stretching my back, arms and neck when I noticed a female type person walking down the street. Not being dead I thought I would be close to the front door when she came back up the street. Since I am the neighborhood watchman I always try to check out all the female people that walk on our street.
Before you ask, no we do not have an actual neighborhood watch team it is just me being inquisitive, some might say snooping.
As usual our TV was on and, “Let’s Make a Deal” was in the middle of a big deal. Obviously I am not a fan of the program but I did stop and watched the deal until the “idiot” made a deal for a zonk. Where do they find these people to be on this TV show?
After being side tracked by the zonk, I again started toward the front door to check out the female person walking on our street. My timing was impeccable as she was standing in front of our house near the mail box. Anyone standing in front of our house immediately becomes a suspect.
The female subject had a large dog on a lead. She looked at me in a manner that seems suspicious.
I being a friendly person and wanting to be a good neighbor, I waved and smiled. This female person did not respond with a friendly gesture instead she reached into her pocket for something.
Was she going for a gun?
Should I shut the front door and call 911?
In all honesty she was quick. I didn’t have time to shut the door.
When her hand came out of her pocket I could see what she had reached for. It was a plastic bag. Her large dog had pooped in my yard and she was going to pick it up and take it with her.
Have you ever watched someone pick up dog poop using a plastic bag? I will attempt to explain the process. The person takes the bag and turns it inside outplacing the hand in the bag. They then take hold of the warm dog poop using the plastic bag as a glove. When they have the warm dog poop in their hand they attempt to turn the bag right-side out again using the other hand. When the bag is again right-side out they seal the zip lock top securing the warm dog poop for the return walk home.
The above process was completed by the female person, knowing that I was watching. That must be somewhat degrading.
Do you think they carry the poop home are do they drop it when they think no one is looking.
I, being a good neighbor, execute a weekly pick up of dog droppings from my back yard. I do this prior to mowing so the mower doesn’t spread it. Neighbors on both sides have dogs (more than one each side) and do not remove the droppings.
Before you ask, I pick the droppings up with a hoe, placing it into a box which goes into the trash container. Let me explain the word “hoe”; it refers to a tool used in the yard and garden and not a lady of the evening.
Well I guess that’s it for today;
We hope all is well for you and yours
Don Ford
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